


The Rise of the Sapphic Singles Squad

by heejinsclown



Series: The Misadventures of the Sapphic Singles Squad [1]
Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: 97 line are chaotic roommates, 97 line are marriage and children antis until they meet ChuuLipVi, 97 line as cool moms or at least they think so, Alternate Universe - College/University, ChuuLipVi as the ones with brain cells, Drinking, F/F, Implied Sexual Content, Inspired by How I Met Your Mother, Marriage, Missing Haseul hours, Other College Shenanigans, Parenthood, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:29:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 44,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25389820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heejinsclown/pseuds/heejinsclown
Summary: In the 90s, Jinsol, Sooyoung, and Haseul establish the Sapphic Singles Squad at BBCU and make a pact to never settle down.Nearly 30 years later, they become those embarrassing parents who tell their kids stories about the "good old days."Part 1 in this series begins 6 months before Hyejoo and Yerim leave for college and flashes back to the SSS's first 2 years at BBCU, right before they meet their future wives.
Relationships: Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Kim Jiwoo | Chuu, Jo Haseul/Viian Wong | ViVi, Jung Jinsol | Jinsoul/Kim Jungeun | Kim Lip
Series: The Misadventures of the Sapphic Singles Squad [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1842673
Comments: 115
Kudos: 359





	1. What does "Sapphic" mean?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somehow, Hyejoo and Yerim’s college acceptance has taken a backseat to the revelation that about nearly 30 years ago, their parents and even responsible Aunt Haseul formed their own lesbian-exclusive sorority that behaved more like a frat. Yet they don’t mind being upstaged one bit. They’ve never been more intrigued and neither has Yeojin.

**March 2024 - Family Game Night at the Wong-Jo Household**

“HULA.. DANCE. HULA... DANCE!” Jungeun screams at her teenage daughter, completely oblivious to the effects of the noise-cancelling headphones on her decibel level. 

“Dance?” Yerim guesses, half-correct. 

Jungeun gives her a thumbs up. “HULA.” 

“Hula?” 

Jungeun nods excitedly. “HULA DANCE.” 

“Huh?” 

“YOU HAD IT EARLIER. HULA DANCE. PUT THEM TOGETHER. TWO WORDS!” the mother yells, holding up two fingers. 

“Peace?” Yerim asks reluctantly while Hyejoo and her parents cackle at the Jung-Kim family’s inevitable loss. 

Jinsol holds the phone timer up to Jungeun’s face. Ten more seconds and the title of Family Game Night Champions go to Sooyoung, Jiwoo, and Hyejoo for the fourth consecutive month. “TEN SECONDS, JUNGEUN!” 

“JINSOL ACT IT OUT FOR HER!” 

“Hey! You’re only supposed to mouth it!!” Sooyoung objects, mainly to get a rise out of Jinsol who ignores her. 

“YERIM, LOOK AT MOM.” Jungeun points at her wife who is goofily swaying her hips in a circular motion. 

“Hula hoop?” 

“HULA DANCE! HULAAAAAA!” Jungeun shrieks to no avail as the timer goes off. Jinsol rubs her back, aware of how Jungeun’s competitiveness gets her riled up (and not in the good way). As usual, Yerim attempts to put a positive spin on things. “I’m sorry I couldn’t get it, Ma. But if it helps, we only lost by one point!”  
  
Meanwhile, Jiwoo and Sooyoung run around the perimeter of Vivi and Haseul’s lavish backyard, boasting their victory and acting like children. The festivities abruptly come to a pause when their actual child, Hyejoo, the quietest of the bunch, holds up her phone and uncharacteristically squeals, “BBC EMAIL! YERIM YERIM YERIM CHECK YOUR PHONE!” All six parents’ eyes (plus Yeojin) dart to the two same-aged friends as they open what they hope are letters of acceptance. 

“3…” Yerim counts, reaching for her childhood best friend’s hand. 

“2…” Hyejoo continues. 

“1…” They say in unison. 

“Congratulations-” They also read in unison although the high school seniors are bombarded with their parents and aunts’ hugs and kisses before they can even finish reading the first sentence.

“Looks like you kids are going to our alma mater!” Haseul cheers.

* * *

The parents bust out the champagne and spend the next hour rereading the official email from the BBC University Office of Admissions and revisiting the most pivotal four years of each of their lives. At the moment, Vivi was telling the legendary story of the time she accompanied her then-friend Haseul to her wisdom teeth extraction and Haseul, high off laughing gas and gauze spilling from her mouth, held the dental hygienist's hand and passionately slurred, "I'm gonna marry youuuu, Bibi."   
  
Meanwhile, Hyejoo, Yerim, and Yeojin have other priorities. 

“Oooooh she’s hot!” Yeojin exclaims as she scrolls through the #BBCUAcceptances on Instagram. 

“Yeojin! Hyejoo and I are not going to college for the girls. We’re trying to get our education.” Yerim reminds the junior. 

“Why not both? That’s what our parents did. What do you think, Hyejoo?” 

Hyejoo has been preoccupied with the “BBC Class of 2028 Roommate Matchups” Facebook page. “I think this sucks. Take a look at this, guys. A lot of the freshman dorms are triples. Even if Yerim and I can be roommates we still need to find a third person. I can't imagine a better trio than us but Yeojin happened to be born a year later." 

Jinsol, who has been eavesdropping all this time, interjects. “Haseul did you hear that? Imagine if Yeojin was the same age as Hyejoo and Yerim. You could have had her earlier if you didn’t spend a whole year trying to figure out how to approach Vivi!”

“Wait. It took you a year to talk to Mom?” Yeojin asks. She knew her younger mom was a softie but she didn’t know her game was _that_ weak.  
  
“She’s just exaggerating. I didn’t take that long. Maybe 10 months,” Haseul corrects but it doesn’t seem to help her case as Sooyoung, Jinsol, and even Vivi struggle to contain their laughter. 

In order to get the humiliating target off her back, Haseul retaliates at her assailant. “Well at least I didn’t get ARRESTED on my first date with my future wife. Not your best move, Jinsol.” 

Yerim gasps. “Mom?!” 

“I was not arrested. I was detained. And it was romantic. Wasn’t it, Jungeun?” Her wife pours herself another glass. 

And speaking of bad moves, why aren’t we calling out Sooyoung? The main reason the three of us got into any form of trouble was because of the Sapphic Singles Squad. And we all know who the founder was.” Jinsol strikes a nerve in her best friend as Sooyoung’s smirk gets wiped clean off her flawless face. 

“How DARE you disrespect the name of the Sapphic Singles Squad like that?!” 

Unable to tolerate the whiplash-inducing turns of this strange yet fascinating conversation, Yeojin raises her hand. “Can someone tell me what the fu- err HECK is going on? I’m so confused! What’s the Sapphic Singles Squad?” 

“Same!” “Same!” says Yerim and Hyejoo. 

Vivi, ever the voice of reason, provides the kids with some much-needed answers. “The Sapphic Singles Squad is what Haseul, Sooyoung, and Jinsol called themselves in college before they met us. Jinsol may be right.” 

“HA! Told you, Sooyoung!” Jinsol interrupts while Jungeun motions for Vivi to continue. 

“Every irresponsible thing these three did can be traced back to the SSS code of conduct or whatever you guys called it. They’d go out of their way to impress girls and they usually failed. And even when they were successful, someone always ended up getting hurt.” Haseul, Sooyoung, and Jinsol’s faces turn the same shade of crimson. Vivi could really be a savage at times. 

“Honestly, Jiwoo, Vivi, and I were the best thing that ever happened to the SSS. You kids don’t understand just how messy your moms were before we came around. We take responsibility for taking down their little club.” Jungeun adds to which Jiwoo yells “Periodt!”, quite proud of herself for remembering the new slang she learned from her secret twitter.

Somehow, Hyejoo and Yerim’s college acceptance has taken a backseat to the revelation that about nearly 30 years ago, their parents and even responsible Aunt Haseul formed their own lesbian-exclusive sorority that behaved more like a frat. Yet they don’t mind being upstaged one bit. They’ve never been more intrigued and neither has Yeojin.

“Hey! We weren’t that bad! And I’m definitely the lesser of three evils. I babysat these two doofuses most of the time!” Haseul self-defends. 

“You guys are giving SSS a bad rep. It was college! You kids will understand when you get there.” Sooyoung confidently replies.

Jinsol, not wanting to be labeled a SSS traitor, wraps an arm around Sooyoung. “Yeah! I’m sorry for turning my back on triple S. So what if we made mistakes? We were young! And no offense girls, but if you three think you're the most iconic trio, you're sadly mistaken. Aunt Sooyoung, Aunt Haseul, and I invented friendship.” 

"Facts!" Sooyoung agrees. 

"What Jiwoo said earlier: 'Periodt!'" Haseul yells. 

“Alright, alright fine! You had fun, you were young, but that was decades ago. Let’s make the rest of this night about the kids, ok?” Jungeun concludes and the topic quickly shifts to setting up a campus tour and registering for freshman and parent orientation.

* * *

By the end of the night, Hyejoo and Yerim are overwhelmed by their parents and aunts’ advice and endless congratulations. As the Kim-Ha and Jung-Kim families pull out of Haseul and Vivi’s driveway, Yeojin wonders if the SSS will ever be brought up again. Will she ever find out how Aunt Jinsol got arrested? Just how many hearts did her mom and aunts break? And whose? She opens up her group chat with Hyejoo and Yerim and smiles. Apparently they were all thinking the same thing. 

_[7 unread messages from “Daughters of Useless Lesbeens 🌈”]_

**GAYmer Gurl** 🎮🐺 **:** That better not be the last time we hear from the SSS

 **Batgirl** 🦇🍒 **:** My ma still won’t let my mom tell me how she got “detained.” Inch resting

 **GAYmer Gurl 🎮🐺:** All I know is Sooyoung is definitely the mastermind behind all this. Mom’s always hinted at her being a player and this just confirms it

 **Batgirl 🦇🍒:** You call your mom by her first name? 

**GAYmer Gurl 🎮🐺:** It’s just easier than saying "my other mom." Sooyoung's cool with it… I think 

**Batgirl 🦇🍒:** Y’all are weird 

**Batgirl 🦇🍒:** Btw what does "sapphic" mean? 

Yeojin scoffs at the last message. 

**Yeojin:** Oh sweet Choerry you have much to learn 

After kissing their respective wives good night, Jinsol, Sooyoung, and Haseul can't sleep ~~(Stream Kim Lip's "Twilight")~~. The mere mention of the Sapphic Singles Squad has opened up visceral memories that haven’t been revisited in three decades. They’ve gone through multiple jobs, several moves (although they’ve never lived further than an hour apart), three weddings, and three pregnancies with three of the most amazing women in the world (they _may_ be a little biased). Countless diaper changes, late night bottle feeds, hundreds of checks for monsters under the bed, and a thousand packed lunches.  
  
And now Hyejoo and Yerim will be out the door in a matter of months, Yeojin soon to follow. The idea of empty nests and the inevitable end of family game night, their monthly tradition dating back to the time the kids were just starting to walk, haunts them. But so do their kids not knowing the full stories about where they came from. How their moms found each other. How they fell for each other. How they stayed together when they could have fallen apart. Yes, the Sapphic Singles Squad at their roots were reckless, immature 20-somethings but they also gave birth to the women Jinsol, Sooyoung, and Haseul are today. Maybe this was just what they needed to keep their minds off the bittersweet reality that their little girls were growing up and they were growing old. 

Jinsol tiptoes quietly out of bed, extra careful not to rouse her slumbering wife. _I know it’s somewhere in the storage closet. Behind the tax documents and in front of the insurance documents. AHA! Sooyoung and Haseul are gonna flip out!_

At 12:12 A.M., Jinsol sends the image to the " _C00Ler Moms😎_ " groupchat. 

Sooyoung responds immediately. 

**Hag Soo(not)young** 🦴💥🤮🍎💃🏼 **:** NO FUCKING WAY 

**Jo Hagseul** 💚🕊🥺🥰🎤 **:** HOW DO YOU STILL HAVE THIS? 😧🥴🤩I thought we burned it?! 🔥🔥🔥  
  
Jinsol grins, the gears in her scientist mind are turning. 

**Jinsol:** Key word: You THOUGHT

**[Hag Soo(not)young 🦴💥🤮🍎💃🏼 renamed the chat to "Sapphic Singles Squad 2.0"]**

**Hag Soo(not)young 🦴💥🤮🍎💃🏼:** We’re making a comeback, ladies 😎😎😎

To be continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did Jinsol save after all these years? WILL SSS MAKE A COMEBACK BEFORE LOONA? Stay tuned. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! This is my first LOONA fic and I'll appreciate any/all questions, comments, and suggestions. This is a daily reminder that you matter. Drink water and take care of yourself.


	2. Please Bounce Responsibly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haseul, Sooyoung, and Jinsol try (and fail) to keep their comeback a secret from their families.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was never supposed to exist. I wanted to skip the month leading up to the Sapphic Singles Squad comeback and instead flashback to their formation in 1994. But '97 line are the most ridiculous moms ever that I just had to build up the present-day timeline. 
> 
> This is still a college AU, of course. We just took a little detour.

When you’re married to Vivi Wong, quadrilingual, decorated marathon runner, and executive chef at the esteemed Vin et Viian, any flaws you have as a spouse become glaringly obvious. For starters, Haseul was utterly terrible at keeping the couple’s secrets. Seconds after two lines appeared and the stick turned positive, Haseul called _everyone._ She even ran around the block telling the neighbors who despised them. When it came to keeping necessary secrets _from_ her wife, Haseul was even worse. “Please cancel your plans for tomorrow because I’m proposing,” the brunette casually requested while enjoying Vivi’s legendary beef wellington. 

Although it was painful, Haseul decided that the best way to avoid exposing the Sapphic Singles Squad’s comeback was to limit her conversations with her wife and shorten her responses. 

“Good morning, honey.”   
“Morn.” 

“How is the choir doing with the new arrangement you gave them?”   
“They’re doing.” 

“Gordon Ramsay’s a regular at my restaurant. He even has a favorite waiter and table. AT MY RESTAURANT. You and Yeojin’s respect and love is all I’m ever gonna need but this is just an added bonus, you know? After all the hard work trying to make it here as an immigrant and starting a family with you, I feel like I’ve finally achieved the American Dream that I’ve been chasing all these years.”   
“That's lit.”   
“Yeojin always says that. What does it mean?”   
"It slaps.” 

Hyejoo and Yerim were aware of their aunt’s weakness and planned to use it to their advantage. 

**D-28 till Sapphic Singles Squad (SSS) Comeback **

“Which mom is picking you up today?” Yerim asks Yeojin during lunch. 

“HaaaAaAAaaAaaseul” Yeojin sings, mimicking her mother’s operatic technique. “Why?” 

“She’s the best mom to ask about the Sapphic Singles Squad. She’s as good at keeping secrets as Yerim is at acting tough.” 

“Hey! I’m tough!” the purple-haired girl stomps one foot on the ground. 

Hyejoo has to laugh at Yerim’s manufactured badass persona. “Please, Yerim. You made a frickin cockroach zoo in your room with rides and attractions because you couldn’t bear to kill it.” 

“Children, children,” the youngest of the trio chastises. “Let’s not fight. Let’s put our petty disagreements aside for the sake of our mothers. With that said, I’m gonna interrogate my mom with the skills of a seasoned FBI agent.” Yeojin rubs her hands together menacingly, similar to a cartoon villain. 

“Just be careful with how you ask her. You tend to come on a little… strong,” Yerim warns. 

“Trust me. I got this.” 

The next day, Yeojin comes hurtling towards the seniors with “good news.” 

“Good news! I got us some answers!” 

“Really?!”   
“What did Aunt Haseul say?” 

> _“Mother, what’s your body count?”  
> _ _“What’s a body count?”  
> _ _“You know… how many girls did you hook up with before mom?”  
> _ _“Yeojin! That is wildly inappropriate! I can’t believe you think I would even consider answering that.”  
> _ _"So none, huh?”_

“Bruh.” 

“Yeojin! You couldn’t be a little more subtle? She’s never gonna tell you anything now!” 

“Yeah, I don’t do subtle.” Yeojin shakes her head and shrugs. “But you said you wanted answers and I delivered. My mom had absolutely no game.” 

Before Yerim and Hyejoo can craft their reply, Ms. Hirai cranks up the music, signaling the start of dance practice. 

**PPALLIPPALLI PIHAE RIGHT**

**CHERRY BOMB FEEL IT YUM**

Yeojin aggressively crumples her Hot Cheetos bag. “NOT THIS SONG AGAIN. What was the point of me begging Ms. Hirai to play kpop during warmups if she refuses to play girl groups?! And yeah it’s a bop but come on!!!” 

The five foot tall junior with the sailor mouth clenches her fists and heads to the back of the studio. 

“WHERE,” she grunts as she kicks the trash can.   
“THE.” _Kick.  
_ “FUCK.” _Kick.  
_ “IS.” _Kick._   
“THE.” _Kick.  
_ “ESTROGEN.” _Kick._

Hyejoo turns to Yerim who has since buried her head in her hands. “Yeojin’s a liability. If we want results, we’ll have to get ‘em ourselves.”

* * *

**D-18 till SSS Comeback**

While Haseul used the silent treatment approach on Vivi to prevent spilling their secret, Sooyoung kept her cool with Jiwoo. When her wife asked her why she was spending more time on her phone lately, Sooyoung calmly responded, “I’m working out an issue with city planning. They have a couple questions.” She wasn’t entirely lying - the city of Polaris had the strictest rules and loved to take down small businesses like Sooyoung’s Maroon Swan Ballet Studio. However, she wasn’t providing Jiwoo with the truth either. In between heated discussions with the city council, Sooyoung jumped to the Triple S group chat. 

**Sooyoung** :LOL I love doge  
  
 **JingHOlas 🐟:** Much funny 

**Queen HAHAseul** 🕊 **:** WAIT GUYS. The kids’ dance show is next Friday so we have to postpone family game night. WE HAVE MORE TIME TO GET READY FOR THE COMEBACK!

“YES!” Sooyoung yells out loud, startling her wife, her child, and herself. 

“Umm… Yes! I was able to set up a meeting with the town chairman.” _Nice save, Sooyoung._

Jiwoo gives her a thumbs up and returns to reading her book, Kevin Clash, the Voice of Elmo: An Exclusive Tell-All. Hyejoo, on the other hand, has more evidence to relay to her friends. There is no way Sooyoung’s excitement is related to property management and given the manner her mother is giggling, the teenager is pretty sure Aunt Haseul is sending her those outdated memes she sends everyone.

“Hey mom?” Jiwoo and Sooyoung both look up. 

“Soomama or Woomama?” Jiwoo asks.  
  
“Sooyou- Soomama,” 17-year-old Hyejoo cringes. 

“What’s up?” 

“Can I come with you to the studio on Saturday morning?” 

Sooyoung raises an eyebrow. Back when Hyejoo was in elementary school, she LOVED hanging out at the studio, running around turning the lights on and off, and making funny faces at the mirrors. However, halfway between discovering the punk and emo genres and making a tumblr account, Hyejoo redefined her idea of “cool” and accompanying her mom at work no longer fell under that category. She definitely had a hidden agenda.  
  
“Sure, but you won’t have any fun. Saturday classes are cancelled this week and I’m only coming in to do boring paperwork.” (“Boring paperwork” in this case is code for “Show Haseul and Jinsol the comeback choreo”). 

Sooyoung’s attempts to make Saturday unappealing fail. “I’m sure we can find a way to make it fun.” Hyejoo says with a fake smile. This child really knows how to push her buttons. 

Jiwoo, not sensing the tension between mother and daughter, claps excitedly. “Yay! My two favorite girls are going off to work! I’ll pack you both a nutritious breakfast!” 

**D-13 till SSS Comeback**

Apparently Jiwoo’s idea of a nutritious breakfast is a nutritionist’s worst nightmare. After downing 2 cups of black coffee and consuming Jiwoo’s strawberry shortcake pancakes topped with homemade whipped cream, chocolate sprinkles, and marshmallows, her wife and daughter were hyper to say the least. 

“HEY SOOYOUNG!” the rebel child screams over the car speakers blasting Sunmi, her mother’s favorite artist. 

“WHAT’S GOOD, HYEJOO?!” the “professional” mother responds. 

“YOU’RE BRINGING BACK THE SSS AREN’T YOU?!” 

“OF COURSE! SAPPHIC SINGLES SQUAD. RIDE OR DIE. FOR LIFE. 24/7. LET’S GO LESBIANS!” 

“I KNEW IT!” 

Verbal confirmation that the SSS would return was satisfactory enough for Hyejoo but her morning got even better when Sooyoung pulled up to the parking lot of the studio. Aunt Haseul and Jinsol, dressed in workout clothes, were waiting patiently by their minivans. 

“Hey! We’re ready to learn the choreo!” Haseul exclaims, not noticing the angsty teen accompanying her friend. 

“Good morning, Aunt Haseul! Are you here to help my mom with the paperwork?” inquires Hyejoo with a cheeky grin. 

“Oh hi, Hyejoo! Um yup! That’s why Aunt Jinsol and I are here. Mhm. That’s right,” Haseul blatantly lies. 

Sooyoung feels a strong arm drag her to the side. 

“Dude,” Jinsol whispers, “How are we supposed to keep the comeback a secret when you bring your kid to dance practice?” 

Sooyoung, still riding her sugar high, replies, “I was thinking of making Hyejoo stay at home but Jiwoo convinced me to bring her. You know I can’t resist Jiwoo’s cakes.” 

Jinsol makes a face of disgust. “Ew Sooyoung! I didn’t need to know that!” 

“Pancakes! Her strawberry shortcake pancakes. Get your head out of the gutter, blondie.”

* * *

**D-11 till SSS Comeback**

With Polaris Performing Arts High School’s second-to-last dance showcase of the year rapidly approaching, Hyejoo, Yerim, and Yeojin spent every waking minute practicing their own dances and scheming together. 

“Damn. My mom is such a shitty liar,” Yeojin concludes after Hyejoo finishes recounting how her aunts faked helping Sooyoung with filing forms. 

“They’re all shitty liars. No offense to your mom, Yerim,” Hyejoo directs at her friend. 

“None taken. So what happens next?” 

“Well, me being there kind of ruined Triple S’s plans. Sooyoung won’t reveal anything else to me. But that’s ok. We already got a ton of intel from her. Now you need to corner Aunt Jinsol.”   
  


**D-10 till SSS Comeback**

It’s not in Yerim’s nature to manipulate her mothers (or manipulate anyone). But it is in her nature to be curious, to seek the truth, to find out exactly what her teddy bear of a mother did to get arrested in college. Also calculus homework is boring. 

“Mommmm,” Yerim calls sweetly. 

“Yeah, sweetie?” 

“I’m really excited for college. Can I ask you questions about your experience?” 

Jinsol’s smile reaches ear to ear. “Sure. What do you wanna know?” 

  
”What was your favorite college class?” 

“Methods in cell and developmental biology of marine organisms. Whew, that’s a mouthful! Can’t believe I still remember that. No wonder your mom calls me a nerd.” 

  
“Who was your favorite Professor?” 

“Professor Parr. I wasn’t a communications major but his class taught me a lot about how to listen to people and see things from their point of view. Very important in a marriage.” 

  
“What is your favorite college memory?” 

“Meeting your mother. Hands down.” Yerim thinks it’s adorable that not only did her mother answer immediately, Jinsol has also found a way to connect every question to Jungeun. She feels extra guilty about the next one but it must be asked. 

  
“Why did you get arrested?” 

“Trespassing and arson,” says Jinsol casually. 

  
“TWO CHARGES? AND ONE OF THEM WAS ARSON?!!” 

“Two charges, two different occasions.” 

  
“YOU GOT ARRESTED TWICE?” 

“I was DETAINED twice. HEY WAIT A SECOND-“ Jinsol’s expression shifts from confused to offended. “You tricked me. You’re not really interested in what I have to say.” The image of her sensitive parent pouting like a kicked puppy makes Yerim’s heart sink. She gets up to hug Jinsol and if you didn’t know it, you’d think Yerim was the mother in this situation. 

"I’m sorry. I _am_ interested in _all_ your college stories. I just let curiosity about the Sapphic Singles Squad’s adventures get the better of me.” Jinsol accepts the embrace. “Forgiven. Now can we forget about the SSS? Your mother wouldn’t want me telling you this stuff. I have to be someone you look up to.” Jinsol tightens their hug. 

“I already look up to you, mommy,” Yerim states sincerely. 

Jinsol taps her daughter’s nose. “You’re very cute but that tactic is not gonna work on me. You will never hear about Triple S’s adventures ever. Not even at the next family game night,” Jinsol winks. 

The bubbly teenager breaks their hug. “THAT WAS A WINK!” 

Jinsol nervously places her index finger to her lips “SHHHH! It’s not a wink! I have an eye infection. Also, the owl will return to the nest soon!” Yerim knows Jinsol is referring to Jungeun coming home any minute now but she doesn’t care. They’re 10 days away from the comeback! 

“Don’t worry, Mom, I won't tell her. But you, Aunt Haseul, and Aunt Sooyoung need to be careful with the way you word things or else Ma, Aunt Vivi, and Aunt Jiwoo are gonna shut down your entire operation. They'll think you’re being bad influences on us.” 

“Yerim. That’s enough. We are dropping this topic right now.” Jinsol isn’t used to sounding this strict so she throws her daughter another bone by winking yet again. 

“YOU JUST WINKED AGAIN! DON’T DENY IT!” 

“IT’S NOT A WINK. I HAVE CHLAMYDIA!” 

“Ahem. Can I get some help with this?” Sure enough, there’s Jungeun standing in the hallway carrying grocery and takeout bags. 

Her child and childish wife rush to her aide, embarrassed. “Yerim,” Jungeun sighs, “do I even want to know?” 

“No.” 

“Alright then. I’ve had a long day. I’m going to freshen up first and then we’ll eat dinner. Yerim, I got your usual from the pad thai place.” 

Yerim slams her long-forgotten calculus book closed and greets her mom with a hug and Jungeun gives her a forehead kiss. “Yay! Thanks ma!” 

“Hey, where’s my hug and kiss?” Jinsol complains. 

Jungeun wraps her arms around the back of her wife’s neck, leans in close, then pulls back. 

“Sorry, babe. I have a presentation at work tomorrow and I gotta look good. Can’t risk catching your…” Jungeun pauses, “ _e_ _ye infection_.” 

“Hey! You can’t leave me hanging like that. Honey!” 

Yerim watches her mother chase her other mother up the stairs. 

* * *

**D-9 till SSS Comeback**

There are times in a woman’s life when she must stand up to the man. This was NOT one of those times. 

“You sure about this, Haseul?” asks Jinsol as she eyes the intimidating, 20 foot tall basketball hoop. 

“Of course! My doctor doesn’t know what he’s saying. He’s always like ‘YoU’Re alMoSt 50. ‘StOp trYinG tO PaRkoUr wiTh yOUr teEnAgE dAughTer, HaSeuL’ and ‘If you keep throwing it back, you’re gonna break a hip,’” Haseul mocks. 

“Did a man who went to medical school really use the phrase ‘throwing it back’?” 

“Can YOU throw it back, Sooyoung?” sasses Jinsol. Sooyoung sticks her tongue out. 

Fed up with her friends’ relentless bickering, Haseul grabs a basketball and makes her way to the far end of the room. She sprints with the fervor and energy of a male protagonist rushing to the airport to declare his love for the female protagonist before she leaves his life forever. She gains momentum on the first trampoline, then the second, then the third. For a brief moment, the Triple S members believe Haseul can actually reach the hoop and pull off the most insane amateur dunk. They’re clowns, of course. The middle aged mother barely grazes the bottom of the hoop and awkwardly falls on her bottom. Thankfully, the fall isn’t too bad. 

“Well, that was a stupid idea. Fun, but stupid,” says Sooyooung as she helps her up. 

“Ugh! Speaking of stupid ideas, maybe we should just give up on triple S. Isn’t this whole thing kind of pathetic? We’re three grown women messing around at an indoor trampoline park without our families on a Wednesday morning. That sentence keeps getting worse with every word! What a waste of our days off! And the worst part is, we came here because we’re _procrastinating_ on a dance that we plan to perform to a grand total of six people. And who might those six people be? Our daughters and disapproving wives.”  
  
Jinsol, Sooyoung, and the nosy Astro Trampoline Park employee are shell-shocked by Haseul’s rant. 

“Chill, Seul. You can’t make a nearly impossible dunk and you call out the triple S like that?” Sooyoung is always the first to come to their alliance’s defense. 

Haseul takes a significant amount of time to respond and it becomes clear to Jinsol and Sooyoung that whatever is bothering Haseul is bigger than triple S. 

“When you guys fill out forms for Hyejoo and Yerim, are you listed as the second parent? Like when the school is asking for two emergency contacts, do Jiwoo and Jungeun write down their names first? Because Vivi’s always first and I assume it’s because she’s the more responsible and mature parent.” 

This thought has never really crossed Sooyoung and Jinsol’s minds up until now. 

“I’ve never noticed but now that you mention it, yes? Maybe?” Jinsol answers. 

“I guess… but Haseul, this doesn’t matter. Just because we’re listed second doesn’t mean anything. We’re the girls’ mothers just as much as Vivi, Jungeun, and Jiwoo. And it’s nice to be considered the fun moms!” Sooyoung adds. 

“You really think we’re the fun moms?” asks Haseul in a tiny voice. 

“Um hello? Look where we’re at!” Jinsol points to the sign that reads: _GUESTS <5 YEARS OLD and >15 PLEASE BOUNCE RESPONSIBLY. _

“Ok but our wives are not gonna like it when we start telling our kids about all the dumb things we did at BBCU.” Haseul counters. 

Jinsol thinks back to her chaotic conversation with her daughter. “Yerim told me that we just need to be careful with the way we phrase our stories. Maybe instead of pointing out how fun it was to attach an inflatable slide down the humanities building, we could stress the consequences behind it. Make it a teaching moment instead.” 

Sooyoung, for once, agrees with her frenemy. “I like that. We could even use the cliche, ‘Do as I say, not as I do.’” 

Haseul nods. “I guess we could stretch it like that. But wow, Yerim gave you advice? Now all our kids know about the comeback. At least our wives don’t suspect a thing, right?” 

“Nope. Jiwoo and I are good.” 

“Ok good. What about Jungeun?” asks Haseul. 

Jinsol laughs nervously. “Well, I almost blew my cover so I had to tell a little white lie.” 

Sooyoung perks up. Knowing Jinsol, it’s probably something ridiculous.

“What’d you say?” 

“I have chlamydia.” 

“Oh for fucks sake, Jinsol.”

**D-8 till SSS Comeback**

“You guys know our wives are trying to resurrect the squad again, right?” Vivi asks Jungeun and Jiwoo as they wait for their coffees. 

“Yup.” 

“Don’t get me started on their little group chat. Sooyoung doesn’t know how to turn off notifications so her phone was blowing up every ten seconds. Eventually I got curious and peeked. It was Haseul asking if ‘Jiw** knows about the SS* comeb*ck.’ I cracked that code pretty fast.” 

Vivi rolls her eyes at her wife’s lame censoring. “Cool. Just wanted to make sure we’re all on the same page. If any of them take this little performance way too far, we shut that shit down.” 

The mature trio move on to discuss tomorrow’s dance show when Jungeun realizes she’s the only one without much-needed caffeine. 

“They probably called your name already and we didn’t know because they butchered it so badly. I told you to make up a Starbucks name, Jungeun! You don’t know how many times I’ve heard ‘Grande caramel macchiato for Woohoo!’” 

Jungeun approaches the table of unclaimed drinks, spotting her venti dark chocolate mocha with 4 shots of espresso. Jiwoo’s right. Written in red ink are seven letters that do not belong together. She should have given the barista a much easier name to spell. Like "Ashley." Or "Kim." It is her surname after all. 

“Is that a name? Is that even a word? What the hell is ‘Jopping’?!” 

* * *

**D-7 till SSS Comeback (D-Day Polaris Performing Arts High School’s April Showcase) **

Squad leader, Sooyoung, issues one final warning on the groupchat before her family leaves for the showcase. 

**Sooyoung:** Alright guys. Gays. You know the drill. This is the first time since last month’s game night that all six of us are together. Don’t make it obvious that we’ve been in cahoots this whole time. 

**JingHOlas 🐟:** HAHAHA who says “in cahoots.” What are you, 90? 😂😂😂

 **Sooyoung:** We’re the same age! You don’t get to call me a hag, HAG!

 **Sooyoung:** How’s your chlamydia by the way? 

**Queen HAHAseul 🕊 **:**** This is why our wives think we’re immature.  
  
 **Queen HAHAseul 🕊 **:**** This is why we’re the secondary parents.  
  
 **Queen HAHAseul 🕊 **:**** Can you two get your ish together and behave tonight? 😤

 **JingHOlas 🐟:** Fine

 **Sooyoung:** Ok,,,

 **Queen HAHAseul 🕊:** Good. Because tonight is about the kids and the kids only. 

* * *

“Welcome family and friends to our April Showcase!” the cheerful voice comes from Ms. Hirai, Hyejoo and Yerim’s favorite teacher and the only teacher Yeojin can somewhat tolerate. 

“WOOO!!!” Jiwoo, Jungeun, and Vivi scream, earning them several glares from the other parents in their row (and the three surrounding rows). 

Ms. Hirai is visibly startled by the mothers’ screams (How loud are they going to be when their daughters are actually on stage?) but continues. “We’re so thankful that you all took time out of your busy lives to watch our show and I promise you, you won’t regret it! Our students are incredibly talented!” 

“LET’S GO HYEJOO! MAMAS LOVE YOU!” Hyejoo hears the message loud and clear despite being in one of the backstage bathrooms at the moment. 

The dance teacher presses on, clearly irritated now. “Before we start, I ask that you _please_ limit your applause and cheers during each performance. We have a videographer filming the entire showcase and we’d like to get a clean, copy for you all to purchase.”   
  
Triple S exchange looks. _Limit our cheers and applause? How are our wives going to handle that?_

Jiwoo and Jungeun manage to keep it down during the first two group numbers. It’s only when Hyejoo and Yerim get solos that all hell breaks loose. 

“HYEJOO, YOU’RE DOING AMAZING, SWEETIE!”   
“THERE’S MY LITTLE BABY WOLF!”   
“THAT MOVE WAS SMOOTH!” 

“GO YERIM GO!”   
“JUST LIKE YOU PRACTICED!”  
“CHOERRY THAT’S MY BABY!” 

In an unexpected role reversal, triple S mouth apologies to the nearby, annoyed audience members. Haseul thinks level-headed Vivi won’t add fuel to the fire but when the stage lights illuminate Yeojin and her male partner, (“I can’t believe juniors don’t get solos. I have to dance with a bo- a b- I can’t even say it.”) Vivi goes wild. 

“YEO YEO YEO!”   
“IT’S LIT, YEOJIN!”   
“YOUR FOOTWORK SLAPS!” 

After an eternity, it’s finally time for intermission and Sooyoung, Haseul, and Jinsol excuse themselves to buy concessions and escape the nasty looks from PTA moms. 

A calloused finger harshly pokes Jungeun’s shoulder. “Hey, lady. I know you’re proud of your kid. We’re all proud parents here. But can you tone it down a bit? Didn’t you hear what the dance teacher said? Limit your applause.”

Jungeun would acknowledge this father's valid complaint but the way he rudely got her attention and the condescending manner with which he’s speaking to her just doesn’t sit right with the strong-willed woman. There are times in a woman’s life when she must stand up to the man. This WAS one of those times.

“I heard what she said. But thank you for explaining it to me. Women LOVE to see a big, strong man make everything less confusing for our simple brains.” 

The father mumbles something about “sensitive snowflake feminists.” He crosses his arms, puffs out his chest, and attacks. “Did you _really_ hear her? You and your friends were too busy screeching like hyenas.” Jiwoo and Vivi turn around so fast, you’d think they’d break their necks. The only neck they plan to break, however, is this man’s. No one calls Jungeun, Jiwoo, and Vivi “hyenas.” 

“Excuse me?!” Vivi asks, bewildered. 

“Did you just call us hyenas?! Look in the mirror,” Jiwoo retorts. 

Just when it couldn’t get any worse, the man’s wife joins the fight. “What the hell did you just say to my husband?!” 

“Listen Karen,” the words leave Jungeun’s mouth like a bullet and Vivi and Jiwoo gasp. _Oh shit, she just called her “Karen.” This is serious._ “Your caveman of a husband is expecting us to stay quiet while our daughters dance CIRCLES around your little Cindy who we all know bullied her way to the top!” 

Karen reaches for her $1345 studded, white-leather Valentino bag, ready to swing. “Oh you’re gonna regret that! And my name is Carol!” 

“Try me, bitch! I HAVE A THIRD DEGREE BLACK BELT!” a demonic scream leaves Jiwoo’s adorable body. 

The Squad watch from the sidelines. “Um, shouldn’t we stop them?” asks Haseul. “No! Let them duke it out! Jinsol, pass the popcorn.” Sooyoung can’t help it. Black belt Jiwoo comes out once in a blue moon. To Jinsol and Haseul’s relief and Sooyoung’s dismay, Ms. Hirai interrupts the scramble.

“Hi ladies! Enjoying the show?” 

Vivi wipes the scowl off her face. “Wonderful!” 

“Oh yes I am!” remarks Jiwoo.

“The kids are doing an amazing job with your choreo. I think it’s your best yet. None of this would have been possible if it weren’t for your brilliance, Momo!” says Not-Karen. 

Jungeun scoffs. “Kiss ass,” she mutters under her breath. 

“Ahem, BITCH, ahem,” Not-Karen coughs. 

“Thank you so much! That’s lovely to hear. Your daughters are a pleasure to have as students!” 

“Some more than others,” Vivi mutters. 

“Well I have to get going. Enjoy the rest of the show!” Momo leaves to go chat with Principal Park. 

The moms and Not-Karen exchange a few more “bitches” and death glares before Jinsol, Sooyoung, and Haseul take to their seats. Maybe they don’t have to worry about being labeled the immature moms after all. Perhaps after the stunt Vivi, Jiwoo, and Jungeun just pulled, they’ll allow and even accept the return of the Sapphic Singles Squad. 

_The heat is off us. Things are working in our favor,_ Sooyoung thinks. 

“So,” Jinsol hands Jungeun the half-eaten popcorn, “what did we miss?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we know college!Jinsol's charges but what led up to the trespassing and arson? What the hell is Jopping? SSS comeback and college backstory in the next chapter, I promise! (jk... unless?) 
> 
> Hope you had as much fun reading this mess of a chapter as I did writing it. Till next time! Stay safe, drink water, you matter.


	3. High Intensity Stacking Tumbling Wooden Block Family Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April 2024: Sooyoung, Jinsol, and Haseul make their long-awaited comeback 
> 
> September 1993: Sooyoung meets her roommate, Jinsol (and her fish, Moon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone. I want to address the changes I made. As an anon pointed out, "stud" is a label that belongs to black lesbians. I apologize for using the term improperly and have removed all mentions of it from the story. Thank you, anon for educating me. 
> 
> Second, I've changed present-day in the story (i.e. the spring/summer before Hyerim go to college) from 2020 to 2024. Let's just pretend the references I make will still be relevant in 2024. 
> 
> Now, let's get to the comeback...

**24 Hours Before the Sapphic Singles Squad Comeback  
  
** Professor Jinsol Jung-Kim sneakily exits her Toyota Sienna and carries a navy blue duffle bag, a manila envelope, and a bottle of wine. She’s been given specific instructions: 7:00 P.M. and not a minute later. Leave it behind the female garden gnome. Tread lightly. Do not knock. Text a thumbs up when you’re done. Drive away and don’t look back.  
  
At 7:03 P.M. Haseul retrieves the bag. Inside are their costumes and a speaker _._ She opens the envelope. The document is in mint condition, untouched by time. The Pinot Noir is a nice touch but unnecessary. Vivi has an extravagant wine cellar downstairs and in her restaurant. Attached on the back of a bottle is a note. 

> H, 
> 
> Cheers to our long-awaited return. 
> 
> \- J 

_Well-done, Jinsol.  
_

At 7:39 P.M. Sooyoung answers the doorbell to no one in particular. It’s probably one of the neighbors’ kids pranks. _Lame. Kids these days can’t even prank correctly._ She’s about to close the door when she looks down at a slim, elegant gift bag. It looks to hold a bottle of… vinegar?

> S, 
> 
> Why the sour face? We’re coming back tomorrow. 
> 
> \- J 

A tasteful prank is one that simultaneously manages to annoy you and make you smile. _Well done, Jinsol.  
_

* * *

**24 Minutes Before the Comeback  
  
**“I’m just saying, it’s fishy that they’ve won four game nights in a row and they’re about to win a fifth. We know Hyejoo doesn’t really care if they win so Aunt Sooyoung and Jiwoo are definitely rigging it,” Yeojin speculates as she hands Yerim a soda from her fridge. 

“Maybe they’re rigging the card games but how do you cheat on charades and Jenga? I think our parents just suck at those,” Yerim reasons. 

“You gotta use the generic name. High Intensity Stacking Tumbling Wooden Block Family Game. My mother spent a thousand dollars on a UFO detector but real Jenga is where she draws the line.” 

“Any luck with the UFOs?”

Yeojin narrows her eyes, suddenly suspicious of her childhood best friend’s motives. “I do not report my findings to civilians. That is, if you even are a civilian, Yerim ‘Choerry’ Jung-Kim.” 

(In reality, Haseul got scammed into buying a pile of junk that internally combusted when Yeojin dangled a plate in front of it). 

“Why are you guys taking so long? You’re missing all the fun,” says Hyejoo with absolutely no enthusiasm in her voice. 

“Just trying to kill time before you win. Again,” Yeojin shades. 

“You think I like winning? We have a ceremony at home where my mom plays ‘We are the Champions’ while Sooyoung takes down last month’s ugly-ass MS paint certificate from the fridge and replaces it with this month’s. They make me record it and post it on the family blog. It’s annoying. Maybe I’ll just let you win.” 

The rage that escapes Yeojin’s tiny body is enough to power the entire city of Polaris and possibly the county of Eden. “Let me win? LET ME WIN?! I welcome you with open arms to my home-” 

“Aunt Vivi and Haseul’s home,” Yerim corrects. 

“...nourish you with soda…” 

“Aunt Vivi and Haseul’s soda.” 

“...raise you to be a good citizen with morals and decency…” 

“Aunt Sooyoung and Jiwoo did that. Also you’re younger than us.” 

“... and you throw me a little pity win? No. We’re settling this right now,” Yeojin grabs Yerim by the shirt collar and drags her back to the living room. 

“Hey! Why me? It’s Hyejoo you have a problem with!” 

“You're easier to reach.” 

Yeojin quickly releases Yerim when she spots their older counterparts on the opposite end of the hallway. All three are giggling while Sooyoung and Jinsol bump fists. “Are you going to the kitchen to get the pie out of the oven, mother?” 

“Yes. Aunt Jinsol and Aunt Sooyoung are coming to help me.” 

_Sure. That sounds like a 3-woman job._

The mothers continue walking past the daughters before they erupt into laughter again. 

“There’s no pie, is there?” asks Hyejoo. 

Yeojin gives her a devilish smile. “There’s not even an oven. It broke. She was there when the handyman uninstalled it!” 

The younger trio joins Jiwoo, Jungeun, and Vivi who are way too invested in the final round of the High Intensity Stacking Tumbling Wooden Block Family Game. As long as Vivi and Yeojin don’t knock down the tower, they move on to a tiebreaker. The competition heats up and everyone seems to forget that the Squad has been missing for 20 minutes now. Yeojin is about to remove a particularly stubborn block when Haseul sends a roundhouse kick towards the tower.

“WE’RE ABOUT TO TEAR THIS BISH DOWN.” 

“MOTHER WHAT THE-“ 

Triple S’s attire leaves Yeojin speechless for the first time all night. They’ve changed out of their sensible mom jeans and comfortable cardigans. 

Haseul’s wearing a leather jacket and a pair of extreme skinny ripped black jeans. Sooyoung’s sporting maroon sweatpants with one pant leg rolled up and a black Stussy hoodie. Jinsol’s rocking black adidas track pants and a crop top that reads “Certified Hype Beast.” All 3 are wearing bucket hats, fanny packs, and Yeezys. 

“Why are they dressed like that? They look like the next brand ambassadors for Supreme,” Yerim observes. 

“They’re dressed like their username is theearthisflat69,” Hyejoo adds. 

Yeojin is about to come up with a snarky remark of her own when the opening lines of a very familiar song fill the room. 

**PPALLIPPALLI PIHAE RIGHT  
** **CHERRY BOMB FEEL IT YUM**

She looks up to the ceiling and dramatically yells, **“** WHY CAN’T I ESCAPE THIS SONG?”

Jiwoo, on the other hand, has no complaints. “EEEE I LOVE this song!” She rummages through her wallet, finds $1 bills, and starts throwing them at Sooyoung as if she’s at a strip club and not a family event. 

The technologically-challenged moms struggle with the bluetooth speaker for a solid minute before the start of the dance cover. As much as she wanted to replicate the original choreography, Sooyoung had to confront the harsh truth that Haseul, Jinsol, and herself were double the average age of the NCT 127 members. She simplified some steps that her 22 year-old self could pull off in her sleep and as they neared the end, Sooyoung realized her back would not allow her to drop to the floor gracefully during the most iconic portion of the song. 

But fuck it. This is her chance to prove to Jiwoo that she’s still got it and to show Hyejoo that she truly is the cooler mom. 

_Ow ow ow. Why did I think this was a good idea? Haseul and Vivi have tile floors. Wait, did Jinsol and Haseul skip this part of the choreo? Heh, cowards. Don’t make it obvious that you just blew out your back. The show must go on. Ow fuck._

Meanwhile, Jinsol and Haseul spend the last chorus half-dancing and half-seducing their spouses. Jinsol delivers her signature winks and Jungeun pretends she isn’t flustered. Haseul, who was previously labeled the member with the least “game,” strips off her leather jacket, boldly throws it at her wife, spins around to reveal her full outfit, and consequently steals the show. It may no longer fit perfectly and the “JO #3” has mostly faded away but that is indeed her BBCU 1997 track and field uniform. Haseul was wearing that same jersey the day she realized she was hopelessly, irreversibly in love with her teammate, “WONG #5.” 

Yerim’s thunderous applause breaks the adults from their nostalgic thoughts. “That was amazing, mom! And aunties!” 

“Not too shabby. But can you guys _please_ cover a girl group next?” (Yeojin’s request goes unnoticed.) 

“You guys will never let me forget I said this but…” Hyejoo hesitates, “That was really cool. However, I really didn’t need the image of Woomama trying to shove singles under Soomama’s waistband.” 

“WOOMAMA? SOOMAMA? OH WE DEFINITELY WON’T LET YOU FORGET THAT!” teases Yeojin.

Jinsol and Haseul prepare for their surprise encore (BTS’s “Fire”) but when they see their leader still on the floor, cringing in pain, they call it quits for the night.

* * *

Haseul hands her injured friend a water bottle and an ibuprofen. “Here you go, you big baby.” Sooyoung swallows her medicine and her pride. “Thanks, Seul.” 

Haseul retreats to the kitchen to help Vivi with the dishes, her most-hated chore. “Let me do those.” Vivi steps away and takes the opportunity to stare shamelessly at her hot wife in her old jersey. 

“I didn’t see you at practice earlier. The team missed you. But not as much as I did,” Haseul role-plays. 

Back at the living room, Jiwoo scolds her wife. “You should’ve been more careful.” 

“I just wanted to show off to my girl.” _My girl._ The dancer delivers the words so smoothly and with such bravado that Jiwoo falls for her all over again. 

“You don’t have to show off. You already got me, remember?” She points to her wedding ring. 

On the other couch are Jungeun and Jinsol. The former whispers innuendos in the latter’s ear. “Jungeun! Read the room.” 

Hyejoo has had enough. “This was supposed to be family game night not Valentine's Day.” 

Yeojin throws her hands in the air and huffs, “That was it? That was the comeback? Let’s just go upstairs and play on my switch, guys.” 

“Oooh do you have animal crossing?” asks Yerim. 

“Of course! I bought it with my own hard-earned money as a scalper. You have no idea how much people are willing to pay for concert tickets, especially kpop fans ( ~~That hurt , Yeojin.~~ ) I’m rolling in so much dough, I could open a bakery! That reminds me...” Yeojin opens the voice memo app on her phone and records herself saying, “Yeo Yeo’s Yums get that trademarked, copyrighted, whatever you need to do. Don’t forget.” 

“Yeah but don’t you feel bad buying the tickets for so low and then selling them so high?” Yerim’s conscience always gets in the way of Yeojin’s schemes. 

“I guess but then I play Animal Crossing and that feeling kinda goes away,” Yeojin shrugs.

The trio starts making their way to the stairs when Jinsol nearly tackles Yeojin from behind. “Leaving so soon? Won’t you girls reconsider?” She brings a laminated paper to Yeojin’s eye level and the teen lets out a deafening scream. Her mothers run to the living room. “What’s going on?!” 

“AHHHHH! YERIM! HYEJOO! IT’S THE CODE OF CONDUCT BITCHES! Good thing it’s laminated because this shit is ANCIENT.” 

“That’s $2 in the swear jar. And how old do you think we really are, Yeojin?” Vivi asks. 

“I don’t know,” Yeojin turns to Yerim, “You pay attention in class. When was electricity invented?” 

Sooyoung overhears the age-shaming and calls out for the girls. “Hyejoo! Yerim! Yeojin! Come back to the living room if you want to hear our stories!” ****

Once all moms and kids are present, Sooyoung nods at Jinsol and Haseul.

“WE ARE… SOO!” the Sapphic Singles Squad founder yells their intro. 

“SOL!” 

“SEUL!” 

“AND WE ARE… SAPPHIC!” Sooyoung dabs. Her daughter facepalms. 

“SINGLES!” Jinsol dabs. Her daughter covers her eyes. 

“SQUAD!” Haseul dabs. Her daughter makes plans to move out of the house. 

Sooyoung takes out a pack of index cards from her back pocket and begins reading. “Good evening, wives and children. I’m the founder and president, Sooyoung Ha-Kim. With the assistance of my Vice President Jinsol Jung-Kim and Queen Haseul Jo-Wong…” 

“Queen? Isn’t this a democracy?” Yerim whispers. 

“Vice president was already taken and I didn’t want to be downgraded to secretary of state,” Haseul clarifies. 

“I welcome you all to our comeback and 30 year anniversary. Needless to say, we’re thrilled to be back. Tonight we will be sharing stories that will guide our children through college, relationships, and adulthood. I understand this may come as a shock to our wives-”  
  
“We knew,” Jungeun, Jiwoo, and Vivi say in unison. 

“Wait, you all knew?” Jinsol innocently questions. 

The wives roll their eyes. Vivi can feel a migraine starting to build. 

Nevertheless, Sooyoung continues her long-winded speech. “But I promise these stories are worth sharing and we have carefully selected the ones we deem appropriate to tell to this younger audience. As you can see, Vice President Jinsol saved the original ‘Code of (Lesbian) Conduct' or CLC. I will have the three original members, including myself, place our right hands on the historical document.” 

“They can’t possibly be serious,” Hyejoo deadpans. 

“Oh sure, Jinsol keeps THAT but loses Yerim’s birth certificate.” 

“Don’t worry, honey! I found it while I was looking for the Code! They were right next to each other!” the Vice President reassures her wife while resting her hand on the Lesbian Constitution. 

“Alright then. Now that we’ve done that, Vice President Jinsol has also thoughtfully put together a fun PowerPoint presentation to immerse us in this experience. The floor is yours, Vice President.”  
  
“No, Madame President, after witnessing your back-breaking move during our performance, I believe the floor is _yours_.” 

“Jinsol, I swear to God I have the power to fire you and I’m not afraid to use it.” 

Queen and peacemaker Haseul faces their wives. “Wait. Pause. Vivi, Jungeun, and Jiwoo, are you sure you’re ok with this?” 

“As long as you don’t condone some of your squad’s questionable behavior,” Vivi says. 

“Will do! I mean... will not do. Vice President, my laptop is ready on the counter. Play the presentation!” 

Jinsol happily skips to the countertop and clicks the first slide. What follows are a series of pointless animations. The slide zooms in, swivels, fades in and out, splits in half, dissolves, and bounces across the computer screen before finally stabilizing. Jinsol’s so impressed with her handiwork that she doesn’t realize Sooyoung’s adjustment. 

The dancer replaced their wholesome graduation pictures with a photo of herself and Haseul spraying easy cheese into the open mouth of an unconscious Jinsol. At least she left the title of the presentation untouched: The Rise of the Sapphic Singles Squad (est. 1994).

Jungeun isn’t sure which is more embarrassing: the fact that her daughter has to see her mother in this drunken state or that this picture was taken at their friend Lisa’s bachelorette party… two months ago. 

“Not cool, guys! Not cool. See kids? These are the types of situations that we DON’T want you to get into. Moving along with the next slides.” 

To further reinforce the point that Triple S’s antics should not be recreated, Jinsol reveals 3 warning slides. The first contains a picture of Jinsol holding baby Yerim at the planetarium. Written in bold Impact font is the message: 

> **“Congrats Sweet Choerry! We’re so proud of you! PLEASE DON’T REPEAT ANY OF THE THINGS YOU’RE ABOUT TO SEE IN THIS PRESENTATION. Love you! SERIOUSLY DON’T.”**

Hyejoo’s slide features Sooyoung and the four-year-old at the orchard, apple picking. 

> **“You’re gonna kill it in college, Hyejoo! Kill figuratively of course. Don’t take what we say literally. NOT THAT I’VE DONE ANY K*LLING. Not of people anyway. And never on purpose. Ok bye. Love, Soomama.”**

Yeojin’s is the most chaotic of all. Haseul’s message takes up the entire slide, leaving no room for pictures (or sense). 

> **“YEO YEO YEO. Itz your mom, Chicken Soup for the Seul. You still have a year to go before you graduate so continue having the best time in high school and if you don’t win prom queen we will sue. You think I'm kidding but I'm not. Dead@ss. Because you deserve the world! Alright I’m gonna drop the mic and head out. Love you like a clout chaser loves clout! Always keep it 100!”**

“Um where’s the warning in that?” asks Vivi, concerned. 

“You don’t see it in the bottom right of the screen, honey?” Haseul asks. 

Written in considerably smaller, size 8 font, is the disclaimer:  
  
“But don’t have too much fun like we did in SSS. Haha jk… unless?” 

“What’s that last part supposed to mean?” the award-winning chef asks, skeptical of her wife’s intentions. 

“Oh nothing. You know kids say all kinds of things,” Haseul smirks at her mischievous daughter.

Sooyoung stands up at the sight of the next slide. It’s her freshman self carrying boxes in front of her dorm on move-in-day. Her parents wanted to freeze the moment in time. Little did they know that one day their daughter would be sharing it with her own child. She instantly falls back down to the couch when her brain registers the searing pain from her lower back. 

“Sooyoungie, I told you to take it easy!” 

“But this is the first story of the night and it’s my story!” 

“You can still tell it from a seated position,” Jiwoo reassures, rubbing her shoulders tenderly. 

“Alright. Well, once upon a time, many years ago, many more years than I’d like to admit, I was a nervous freshman moving into my dorm. As soon as I bid my parents goodbye, I unpacked my clothes, books, toiletries and arranged them neatly. I wasn’t pleased with the dusty mini fridge and other appliances the school provided for us so I cleaned and cleaned-“ 

“BOOOOOOO,” Jinsol heckles, behaving just like the immature young woman she told her daughter not to emulate. 

“Yeah mom this is boring. Can’t you skip to the part where you meet Aunt Jinsol?” 

“How you like that, Soo? I’m the most interesting part of _your_ story.” 

“Fine. Believe it or not, Jinsol and I weren't always the _lovey-dovey_ best friends that we are today. Our first meeting was rough. I just finished setting up my study space when I heard someone struggling against the door. It was my new roommate, Jinsol. She carried a humongous suitcase in one hand and a fish in the other...“ 

* * *

**September 1993: BBC University, Mobius Dorms**

Sooyoung hates messes. She hates messy rooms, messy choreography, and most of all, messy people. She wouldn’t say she hates this girl, after all she’s nothing more than a stranger and another anxious first-year college student however, she isn't exactly making the best first impression.   
  
First, her fashion sense is… odd. The blonde, for whatever reason, decided that a pink rabbit tee shirt paired well with lemon-patterned shorts and a blue beanie. Second, piles and piles of clutter are spilling out of her luggage and there’s a fish bowl (?) dangerously sitting atop it. Judging from the blue betta in her left hand, Sooyoung confirms her assumption. 

“Hi! You’re Sooyoung, right? I’m Jinsol. Your roomie!” Jinsol, still half-outside the room, reaches to give Sooyoung a handshake. In doing so, she lets go of the literal _life_ she’s holding in her palm. Sooyoung’s eyes widen before Jinsol’s. “Your fish-”  
  
****“No! Moon! It’s not your time to go!” Jinsol drops to her knees, inspecting the plastic bag filled with water and a betta in critical condition. “Stay with me!” she shakes the bag frantically.

“I don’t know shit about fish but I don’t think you should shake it like that.” 

“You’re right,” the applied mathematics and _marine biology_ double-major says breathlessly. Jinsol watches for any activity from Moon and Sooyoung, as detached as she could possibly be to this woman and fish, can’t help but pity them. 

“Did I just see a fin flap? I knew you were a fighter, Moony! I bought this fish an hour ago and it already had its first near-death experience…” Jinsol locks eyes with Sooyoung for the very first time and it dawns on her that she made a fool of herself in front of her new, _gorgeous_ roommate. She’s so stunned by her beauty and the sheer silliness of the situation that she just starts laughing. 

Sooyoung gently kneels down to join Jinsol. “I will never complain about having a bad day. This poor fish had the _worst hour,”_ she jokes, forgetting that her darker brand of humor does not usually fit well with others. Jinsol doesn’t seem to mind, though, as they share in their lighthearted laughter and celebrate the pet’s unlikely descent from fish heaven. It’s a cute bonding moment, but short-lived. 

“Hi, girls, sorry to interrupt but I’m doing my rounds and I noticed you have a pet. Pets are prohibited under Article 20 Section 8 Subsection 18 of BBCU’s Housing agreement,” says their strict resident advisor. 

Sooyoung met Jennie earlier and immediately knew that she was the type of woman who took zero bullshit from anyone. This is Jinsol’s first encounter with the RA and the only thought on her mind is “ _Why is everyone at this school so damn attractive?”_

“Don’t worry, it’s just a betta fish. It won’t cause any trouble! I’m Jinsol by the way.” 

“Jennie. And it’s not just the fish I’m worried about. It’s your fishbowl. Article 8 Section 8 Subsection 16 has many restrictions on glassware, especially if you use it to hold liquid.” 

“So we can't even drink from glasses?” asks a perplexed Sooyoung. 

“I know it’s a load of crap. If we had it my way, I’d say do whatever the hell you want. But I don’t make the rules. I can compromise, though. You can keep the fish. Instead of writing you up and charging you for housing a pet, I’ll just charge you.” 

“That doesn’t sound much better! Can’t you help us out, Jennie? Please? You were a freshman too,” Jinsol begs, hoping her pouty eyebrows would reach the unyielding sophomore. 

“It’s out of my control. Sorry. Expect to pay a fee of $100 each next month,” Jennie struts away, leaving the scent of Chanel No. 5 lingering in the air. 

“Wait Jennie! Each? It’s not even my fish!” Sooyoung runs after the it-girl but she’s already disappeared down one of the residential building’s winding hallways. 

She storms back to dorm 97 with an axe to grind. 

“I’m so sorry, Sooyoung. Getting the fish was a last-minute decision. I thought it would brighten up the place and this dorm isn’t really a five-star hotel. If I had known pets weren’t allowed and you’d have to take the fall for it, I wouldn’t have gotten Moon. I’ll try to talk to Jennie…” 

“No,” Sooyoung cuts her off, “I don’t want to get charged even more. You might make it worse. Forget it.” Jinsol’s heart sinks at Sooyoung’s harshness and she unpacks the rest of her stuff in silence. 

Sooyoung doesn’t bother to ask her any of the standard questions roommates ask each other: Where are you from? Which high school did you go to? What’s your major? She’s too busy asking herself: _Where am I gonna get a $100?_ _I’m a broke college student. I don’t even have $10. Are those action figures?_

“What are those?” the dancer asks in reference to Jinsol’s remarkable Gundam collection. 

Jinsol’s eyes light up like New Years Eve and Sooyoung momentarily forgets that she’s pissed at her. 

“Gundams! They’re only the coolest robots ever. Better than robots, actually! The franchise began in 1979 with the anime ‘Mobile Suit Gundam’ directed by Yoshiyuki Tomino…” 

Sooyoung drowns out Jinsol’s voice. She doesn’t care about the cultural impact of Gundams and how hard they are to build or whatever. She cares that Jinsol has at least 20 of them on display and another dozen in boxes. 

_What if those toys are prohibited too? She’s a clumsy hoarder nerd. Great just great. Why do her interests have to take up so much space? Why couldn’t she be into hiking or birdwatching? Something quiet and peaceful. Something that she can pursue outdoors, far away from me. Will she ever stop talking?_

Jinsol’s about to tell the story of the first time she built a model entirely on her own, when she notices her roommate perusing her perfectly sorted cassette collection. She’s not even hiding her disinterest in the blonde.

“Um I have to head out. I have this transcript issue that I have to sort out with the registrar’s office. Last time I checked, the line’s out the door so I might take a while,” Jinsol fibs, looking for any excuse to leave the cramped room. 

“I’ll be right back, Moony” she says to the fish situated haphazardly on the edge of her small desk. “See you, Sooyoung,” she whispers just loud enough for the girl to hear. 

As soon as Jinsol’s gone, Sooyoung nearly leaps off her bed and grabs their singular wall phone across the room. She can’t tell if it’s the move-in-day jitters or the frustration of getting stuck with an annoying roommate but Sooyoung knows she needs some stress relief, bad. 

She fishes (pun unintended) the napkin out of the free bag she got from orientation. Thankfully the girl’s number is still legible. (BBCU's pens were cheap and smudgy and they were both in a hurry.) 

Sooyoung is never this reckless, her arrow always flies straight (well not _that_ kind of straight). But this girl - this girl is different. She finds herself dialing the number and spewing the words “My roommate just stepped out. Do you wanna come over?” before she has the chance to second-guess herself. 

* * *

After a three-hour walk around BBCU’s 400 acre campus, Jinsol begrudgingly returns home. Not that she can even call it that. She fucked up with her roommate and cats and dogs seem to have more in common than the two of them. When Jinsol swings open the door to find no Sooyoung, she almost cheers. 

_Got the room to myself! Just me and… Moon…_

Only her beloved blue betta isn’t there at all. Neither is his fishbowl? Her fishbowl? Jinsol didn’t know them long enough to know. She bends down to touch the thin carpet. It’s moist. She peeks at the wastebasket. Sooyoung triple-wrapped shards of glass, _the remains of Moon’s home_ in 7-eleven bags, and tossed them away. Moon is nowhere to be seen. In a way, she’s glad. She couldn’t handle seeing their body. They lived a short, cruel life. Just like that. Gone. 

Jinsol sits down on her bed, unsure whether to cry or curse out Sooyoung. But she’d feel pathetic doing the former and guilty doing the latter. Not when she doesn’t know what really happened. She'll give her roomie the benefit of the doubt. 

_Cry. Crying it is. I’ll just mourn the fish that I had for less than a day. All alone._

The devastated blonde rests her head on her pillow when she realizes she’s lying on something. A note. 

> J, 
> 
> It was an accident, I swear I didn’t do it on purpose.  
>    
>  \- S 

No apology. No condolences. No sincerity. She’s fuming. 

_Payback’s a bitch. Sooyoung’s a bigger bitch. And if need be, I can be the biggest bitch._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t care how many times LOONA performs Cherry Bomb. I’ll eat it up. I just love the idea of them dancing to it even in their late 40s. 
> 
> Tiny sneak peek of Viseul athlete gfs! Who did Sooyoung call? Was it really an accident? The comment box is right there if you're willing ;) 
> 
> Stay safe, drink water, you matter.


	4. Hannah MOMOntana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April 2024: Hyejoo wants to learn how Sooyoung accidentally killed Jinsol's pet fish. 
> 
> September 1993-January 1994: Sooyoung juggles roommate and love life problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Compared to the first 3 chaps, this one is heavier on plot/character development. (I still included lighthearted scenes in between). Overall, it wasn't my favOriTe to write but "Hannah MOMOntana" despite the silly title, is very important to the story of Triple S and the ending makes it worthwhile. 
> 
> Disclaimers:  
> 1\. I'm not a smut writer. Things get mildly spicy and there's innuendos but that's about it.  
> 2\. No real fish were harmed in the making of this chapter 
> 
> Enjoy!

**April 2024 - Wong-Jo Living Room**

“So did you really kill Aunt Sol’s fish?” asks a nosey Yeojin. 

“Erm well… it _really was_ an accident.” 

“Ok so if it was an accident then how did it happen?” Hyejoo queries. 

Sooyoung reads her wife’s expression for help. Judging by Jiwoo’s stone-cold “Don’t you dare” look, Sooyoung knows lying to her daughter is better than the alternative. 

“I was… moving a couple boxes and I accidentally knocked over the fishbowl.”

* * *

**September 1993 - Freshmen Move in Day at BBC University**

Two minutes. That’s the amount of time that passes between Sooyoung opening the door to her latest fling and pinning her against her roommate's desk. 

“You sure… your roommate… won’t be … home any time … soon?” the girl utters between kisses. 

“She said there’s a really long line at the registrar’s office.” Sooyoung directs her lips to Alice’s jaw. _Alexa? Alison? She’s certain her name starts with “Al.”_

The brunette places her hand firmly on Sooyoung’s chest, signaling her to stop. 

“I was there earlier. The line was moving quickly when I left.” 

“Well in that case, Al,” Sooyoung analyzes the girl’s positive reaction to the nickname, “I won’t tease you any longer.” She leaves a rather unfriendly bite on her new friend’s neck and it has them saying “fuck” for two very different reasons. The unexpected hickey makes Al slide her hand from the center of the desk to the corner where Jinsol’s betta has been resting comfortably for the past hour. As expected, the glass shatters and Moon meets the ground. 

“Your poor fish! I’m so sorry!” Al drops to the floor, distraught. 

“You’re actually doing me a favor. It’s not my fish. Now where were we?” Sooyoung brushes off Moon’s demise a little too casually. 

“Oh no is it your roommate’s? I feel awful! The least I could do is clean this up. Do you have something to sweep up the glass?” 

Of course she does. Sooyoung brought a dustpan, a humidifier to make up for the terrible dorm room circulation, a good iron, and all the essentials. Jinsol brought her toys and a $100 fish. On the bright side, maybe she won’t have to pay that absurd fee anymore. 

Sooyoung wordlessly hands Al the dustpan and gloves. How she wishes Al’s hands were still on her and not the toilet handle, flushing Moon’s corpse. 

“Let’s get out of here,” Sooyoung suggests after the mess is dealt with. 

“But your roommate. I need to apologize,” says Al with teary eyes. 

“I’ll write her a note. She seems like the type to understand.” When Sooyoung sees that verbal reassurance is still not enough, she places a chaste kiss on the back of Al’s hand. “It wasn’t your fault, baby.” 

Al swoons at the gesture and Sooyoung’s effortless smooth talk. “Where do you want to go?” 

“Anywhere there’s food. My treat.” 

Sooyoung, short on cash, immediately regrets the offer. The only place she can afford is the campus coffee shop with their watery coffee and stale bagels. She hears Al order under the name “Alexis” (apparently none of her guesses were correct) but she sticks to the nickname. 

They talk and talk until the only people left in the shop are overachievers who are already getting a head start on their readings. Sooyoung learns Al is afraid of heights, loves Italian food, has four older brothers, and most importantly, is a dance major just like her. She walks Al back to her dorm with a prolonged kiss and a promise to “pick up where we left off, before the fish incident.” 

* * *

“Hi, roomie!” Jinsol blurts in the dark as Sooyoung quietly returns from her one-night stand turned first date (she may partake in _accidental_ fish homicide but she has the common courtesy to respect her sleeping roommate). 

“Jesus! It’s 3 A.M. What are you still doing up?”

“I stayed up for you. I want to introduce you to…” Jinsol turns on the flashlight she picked out of Sooyoung’s bag and points it at the same corner of her desk, “OUR NEW FISH! Moon II. Or we can call him Junior. I haven’t decided yet.” 

Sooyoung’s experiences a flurry of emotions. Confusion. _Did she go out and buy another fish?_ Anger. _She knows pets are prohibited. Is the $100 fee pocket change to her?_ Fear. _This girl is gonna murder me in my sleep._

“Oh, hehe that’s nice,” she shakes as she grips her pepper spray keychain. 

“Yeah I figured since you _killed_ the first one that we should honor it. Same name, species, and color. I _love_ blue. What’s your favorite color?” Jinsol asks the question sweetly but her eyes are laced with contempt and a desire for vengeance. 

“Do you even have one, Sooyoung?” (She wants to add “a heart” but she tones it down when she sees the girl trembling). 

“B-b-burgundy.” 

“Huh. That’s a unique answer. You’re really something, Sooyoung.” 

The dancer nods, terrified. 

“Well, good night! Can’t wait to get to know you more!” Jinsol shuts off the flashlight. 

Sooyoung sleeps with one eye open.

* * *

The intoxicating aroma of bacon and maple syrup fill the air in dorm 97. Sooyoung stretches, takes a minute to accommodate to the light, and yelps when Jinsol’s face appears in her periphery. 

“Good morning, roomie! I got us breakfast from the cafeteria.” 

_From the cafeteria. Which means she didn’t cook it herself. That’s good._

“Dig in!” 

Sooyoung accepts what may be her last meal with grace. “Thanks. You didn’t have to,” she says earnestly. _I killed her fish and she rewards me with a full stomach and a cup of coffee? She still could have sprinkled a dash of poison._

“Hey, what are roommates for?” the blonde says while tilting her head awfully slowly at Sooyoung, like a deranged horror movie doll. 

Sooyoung’s uneasiness reaches a peak when Jinsol pulls out a lighter. “What’s that for?” 

“I’m lighting a candle, silly! I’ve decided to hold a celebration of life for Moon I. ‘Funeral’ just sounds too morbid for a fish that had an unrelenting spirit, a love for adventure, and a thirst for knowledge. Don’t you think?” 

_It was a fucking fish._

“Right,” Sooyoung agrees, because contradicting her would only make it worse. 

“I knew you’d understand! Let’s dedicate today to Moon Sr. and discover Moon Jr.’s personality tomorrow. Assuming you allow him to survive the next 24 hours.” 

Sooyoung chokes on her bacon. 

“Jinsol, about that note…” 

“Don’t worry. If you say it was an accident, I believe you. It’s all in the past, just like Moon Sr.” Jinsol pats Sooyoung on the back and returns to polishing her Gundams.

As Sooyoung watches her roommate care for her figurines, her face contorted in intense concentration, as if performing a life-saving surgery, she realizes the only weapons Jinsol has in her arsenal are collectibles and pettiness. _This nerd is harmless._

Sooyoung cannot assemble Gundams (she barely understands what they are), but she can beat Jinsol at her passive-aggressive game. 

* * *

**October 1993**

At first, Sooyoung starts off light. When she runs into a sorority giving away free thermoses, she intentionally chooses the red one for Jinsol. (“I got you red. You said that’s your favorite color, right?”)

When she notices they’re about to finish their gallon of milk, Sooyoung pours a glass for herself, leaves about three measly drops in the carton, and puts it back in the fridge. (“Aw man! I was really looking forward to my cheerios!”) 

When Jinsol asks for help finding her misplaced notes, Sooyoung hides them. (Maybe this one is a little cruel). 

“Is she really that bad?” asks Al as she traces circles on Sooyoung’s thigh. Their latest postcoital routine consists of Sooyoung ranting about Jinsol until she falls asleep in Al’s bed. She doesn’t mind though - the less time she spends away from her dorm and the fish-loving hippie, the better. 

“Remember that candle she lit for the original Moon? She lit seven more. Set off the smoke detector, cost me another $50, and led to the downfall of Moon Jr. And she still calls _me_ a fish murderer,” Sooyoung regrets that last sentence when she sees Al’s guilt-ridden face. 

“Hey,” she tucks a strand of hair behind Al’s ear, “I told you, Jinsol is entirely to blame for that. Who puts anything fragile, especially a fishbowl, at the edge of a table? And it was right next to the door too.” 

“And if you hadn’t been so forward, maybe I wouldn’t have lost my composure and my hand wouldn’t have slipped.”

“Yes, but you didn’t seem to mind that, now did you?” 

“Not at all,” Al flirts, conveying the message that she's ready for round 2.

* * *

**April 2024 - Wong-Jo Living Room**

“Why is this _whore_ a part of the story?” Jiwoo’s fury stems not from jealousy or Sooyoung recounting her college hookups to their daughter (Sooyoung, in an effort to keep things PG, uses the euphemism “hang outs”). 

Jiwoo's blood boils because she knows how this tale ends: Alexis mangles her wife’s heart and leaves it for her to reconstruct. 

Hyejoo gasps at her mother’s profanity. The word does not belong in the vocabulary of a first grade teacher. Then again, Jiwoo recently called Carol Smith, the mother of the meanest and least-skilled dancer on the team, “a Tupperware Tramp.” Whatever that means. 

“Yeah, Sooyoung. You’re wasting time on that bitch and we still need to introduce Haseul,” Jinsol complains, equally upset at Sooyoung’s tactless storytelling. 

Haseul notices Vivi tapping her foot angrily and rubbing at her temples, presumably to relieve her worsening migraine. She has to intervene. If Vivi pulls the plug on their comeback then what? They go back to Jenga or Uno? Please, anything but Uno!

(Last time they played, Jiwoo’s “reverse” card came close to reversing her lifelong friendship with Jungeun while Jinsol’s “draw 4” made Sooyoung’s blood pressure rise so high, her vision went blurry). 

“Can we all take a breather? And can we please stop saying ‘bitch’ and ‘whore’ in front of the children?” 

“Mother, you literally just said both,” Yeojin snickers. 

“Aw, damn it.” 

To regain everyone’s attention, Sooyoung applies an old trick from Hyejoo’s preschool. 

“If you can hear me clap once!” 

The children and wives reluctantly clap. 

“Twice!” 

The wives comply while Yeojin sings from the top of her lungs. 

“SEOLLENDA ME LIKEY ME LIKEY LIKEY LIKEY!” 

“Not _that_ Twice, Yeojin,” Hyejoo pulls her friend down before Yeojin’s parents ground her for standing on their brand new ivory couch with dirty socks. 

“Y’all never let me push my girl group agenda. Not even Ms. Hirai and she looks _exactly_ like Momo!” 

Yerim gasps as if she’s just discovered the meaning of life. “Isn’t her first name, Momo too?” 

“Exactly! I don’t know how she has time to fly back and forth to Korea and why she would choose to teach a bunch of tasteless teenagers, but it’s way too much of a coincidence to not be her! Hannah Montana who?! I only know Hannah MOMOntana!"  
  
Sooyoung slams her hand on the table.

“Everyone! We’re getting off track here. Listen, I don’t like talking about Alexis either but she’s essential to this part of the story.” The name makes Jinsol recoil - she hates Alexis more than Jiwoo and Sooyoung, if that is even possible. 

“I know it sounds dramatic but at the time we stopped seeing each other, I really thought I’d never find love again. After that, I started the Sapphic Singles Squad. But then I met Jiwoo…” she looks to her partner of 29 years and wife of 24, “and I realized that what I had with Alexis was never love to begin with. It wasn’t even close.” 

* * *

**November 1993**

Autumn at BBC University brings the stress of midterms and looming finals, the brisk November air, the reappearance of pretty girls in leggings and comfy sweaters (Sooyoung’s favorite look on herself and her women), and change in many forms. 

Last month’s Sooyoung would throw a fit over the ant invasion that Jinsol inevitably caused when she left her blueberry pop tart wrappers scattered about the room. But this Sooyoung is different. She merely sighs and reminds Jinsol to pick up ant spray on her grocery run. 

“What’s wrong?” asks Jinsol, puzzled at her roommate’s uncharacteristic calmness. Normally Sooyoung would be grumpily mumbling about her “turning this room from an aquarium to a pig sty.” 

“Nothing. Just don’t forget the spray, ok? The unscented kind. BBC probably has some obscure rule about lemon fragrances.” The dancer hurriedly packs her backpack (another out of character move - Jinsol has seen her spend ten minutes sorting each book and writing utensil in different compartments) and rushes out the door. 

“And where might you be heading?” Jinsol calls out. Sooyoung’s practically prancing down the hallway. 

“Studying at Al’s!” Sooyoung chirps. 

Judging by the spring in her step and the fact that this is Sooyoung’s third “study session” of the week, Jinsol infers that Sooyoung has feelings for this mysterious “Al” boy. The future scientist’s hypothesis is half-correct.

* * *

Sooyoung and Al study for a good five minutes before temptation kicks in. Al loves it but Sooyoung wants something concrete, a label that extends beyond a scribbled name and number on a crumpled up napkin. She didn’t intend to fall but somehow she ended up here - tangled in her thoughts and Al’s sheets. 

“Al, what are we?” The question makes Sooyoung’s not-fling/not-girlfriend cringe as if answering it would be a chore. 

“Soo, why do we have to put a label on this? Why can’t we just have fun?” 

Sooyoung lifts her head from the pillow and props it up with her hand, gazing into Al’s eyes that refuse to meet hers. 

“We _are_ having fun. But we do more than that too. We dance together and I walk you to your other classes, I have lunch with you everyday. I’m at your place more often than my own. I’m here for you, Al. In more ways than one. I just wanna know if you’re the same.” Sooyoung waits too long for a vague reply. 

"You don’t have to worry about that, baby.” 

Sooyoung decides that’ll do for now. But she doesn’t know how much longer she can take this. 

* * *

**December 1993**

Resident advisor Jennie Kim paces the dingy Mobius Dorm hallways that reek of Budweiser and body odor. She stops at dorm 97 and raises her knuckles to knock. When the cries of Jinsol Jung, her most problematic, accident-prone freshman, reverberate through the thick door, she postpones her visit.

“Jennie?” asks Jinsol’s roommate, “Did you need something?” 

“I was about to ask you both what day you’re coming back to campus after winter break but it seems your friend is crying about some fish. I thought your old one died?” 

Sooyoung rolls her eyes. Jinsol is not her friend. At best, she’s a severely annoying acquaintance who happens to live six feet apart from her. 

“Probably the Friday before school starts. I can’t speak for Jinsol. And yes, the old one died. She got another one. It died too. I think this was her fifth?” 

Jennie thanks Sooyoung, sends her a sympathetic smile, and wishes her good luck with finals (and Jinsol). 

“What happened now?” Sooyoung groans as she opens the door to a disheveled Jinsol, mascara running down to her sharp jaw, nursing a bottle of soju in her hands. She didn’t even bother to conceal it in a discrete, brown-paper bag. 

“Jinsol, what happened?” the dancer presses on. 

“Moon V and VI have gone to a better place,” Jinsol sniffles, too weak to reach for the tissue on her lap. 

“Five and six? Didn’t you just bring number five home?” This must be some new personal record, if you didn’t count the original Moon. 

Jinsol wails even harder now. “I bought two of them! I wanted to increase the chances of survival with a larger sample size but when I came back from my exam, they-they-” she pauses to catch her breath, “... they killed each other!” 

She brings the bottle to her mouth with slippery, tear-stained hands and her sober roommate catches it before it slips. Can’t let good alcohol go to waste, especially when it’s apple flavored. 

Sooyoung sets the soju down and sits with Jinsol on her lumpy bed. The blonde automatically rests her head on Sooyoung’s shoulder, earning an “oof” from her roommate. 

“I didn’t want them to fight. I wanted them to be friends. I want us to be friends…” Jinsol trails off. She’s definitely drunk, but her verbal filter remains intact.

Deep down, Sooyoung shares that same desire. Arguing with Jinsol, whether passive, aggressive, or a combination of both, is exhausting. And she could really use a confidant right now. 

“Aren’t betta fish called Siamese fighting fish? I don’t think they’re supposed to be in the same tank, let alone bowl.” 

“Oh.” 

_Way to go, Sooyoung. You blew it._

“Sorry. Too soon?” 

Jinsol shakes her head. “No, I should’ve thought of that… you wanna drink?” But Jinsol’s already pouring the beverage into a dixie cup before Sooyoung can say “Yes, please.” 

Sooyoung downs the apple-flavored spirit in one gulp and refills. 

“Tough night for you too?” 

“Yup.” 

“Wanna talk about it?” 

“Nope.” 

“Is it about Al?” 

Sooyoung finishes her third shot. 

“... yes.” 

“I don’t know enough about him… nah I don’t know anything about him. But he needs to get it together.” 

“He’s not-” 

_He’s not a “he,”_ she wants to say. But no amount of liquor could make Sooyoung come out to her moderately annoying acquaintance. This is one of maybe three conversations they’ve had that doesn’t involve cleaning their dorm, paying for their dorm, and trying not to set their dorm on fire. 

Sooyoung sighs and decides to disclose a tiny portion of her personal life to her roommate. She’s holding her at a distance, much like Al is doing to her. 

“Our hometowns are only 20 minutes away from each other. So I asked him if he wanted to meet my parents sometime. Not as a girl- _boyfriend,_ just as a friend. Even then, he still shut me down. I think he’s afraid of commitment.” 

Sooyoung knows she’s expecting too much from her friend-with-benefits. Al isn’t obligated to say yes. However, she would have appreciated it if Al entertained the idea for a brief moment. 

“But you spend every waking minute with him! What did that idiot say?”  
  
“He’s not an idiot,” Sooyoung weakly defends. 

“Boys are always idiots.” _Well, she has a point._

“He said he’s not good at meeting parents, he’s too afraid he’ll say the wrong thing.” 

“But you said you’d introduce him as a friend! There’s no pressure, no stakes there. An idiot AND a coward!” Jinsol scoffs and peers into the empty bottle. She sets the soju on its side and sends it rolling down the floor. 

After a moment of silence, in which Sooyoung believes Jinsol has fallen asleep on her, she asks, “Am I making a mistake? Letting myself get this attached?” 

Jinsol yawns and removes her head from Sooyoung’s shoulder. “I think that’s how you are. When you care about something, you _really_ care. If Al isn’t as invested as you are, that’s when you gotta unattach? Detach? I dunno.” _It’s detach. And another good point._

“Good night, roomie.” She starts snoring as soon as her blonde locks hit her space-themed pillowcase. 

Her mildly annoying acquaintance’s decent advice resonates with Sooyoung throughout that night and into her winter break. After the holidays, she calls Al’s home phone with the intention of catching up. When she’s greeted by the answering machine three times, Sooyoung stops calling. She wills herself to think about anything else, anyone else. But Dirty Dancing is on tv and she’s reminded of her electric chemistry with Al in the practice room, how everyone dubs them the first and second most promising freshmen at BBCU’s School of Performing Arts (Sooyoung is obviously better, even Al knows that).

So she returns to one of her favorite pastimes: picking fights with her little sister. But even that takes her back to the disagreements her and Al used to have. And Jinsol. _No, Sooyoung. You don’t miss her. You don’t have a soft spot for that nerd._

Vacation drags on agonizingly slow until she receives a call from the woman she can’t seem to forget. 

“Hey Soo! Sorry I missed your calls.”

“No worries! I understand. How have you been?” Sooyoung enthusiastically asks, unable to contain her excitement. 

“I’ve been catching up with my high school friends. But I miss you so much! When are you returning to school?” 

“The 14th. I miss you too!” Sooyoung responds, positively giddy. 

“Great! Swing by my dorm soon as you get there. I can’t wait to see you! I have good news to share…” 

Sooyoung doesn't follow the rest of the conversation. She’s too busy counting down to the day she’s set to move back in and _finally_ ask Al to be her girlfriend. 

* * *

**January 14, 1994**

Sooyoung styles her long, jet black hair to cascade down her shoulders in light waves. She does a total of four hairflips in front of her and Jinsol’s surprisingly unbroken mirror. 

“Who are you and what have you done to my roommate?” Jinsol watches the unbelievable scene unfold, while maintaining a strong hold on Moon VII’s bag. Another semester, another fish (hopefully seventh times the charm). 

“Hey! I thought you were supposed to come back tomorrow.” Jinsol’s unexpected arrival doesn’t seem to fluster Sooyoung in the slightest. 

“No, I always planned to come back today. You misunderstood me… What’s all of this?” Jinsol points to the four outfits on her bed ranging from casual to Sunday church formal. 

“I’m going to seal the deal with Al today.” 

“You’re gonna propose?!” 

Sooyoung laughs as she flicks through a magazine, picks out a YSL perfume sample, and rubs it on her neck. Jinsol has never seen her roommate this unwound, carefree, and _goofy_. 

“I’m asking Al to be my uh, boyfriend.” If all goes well tonight, Sooyoung might muster up the courage to tell Jinsol the truth: the arrogant frat boy that she’s been picturing is actually a humble sorority girl. There’s something about Jinsol’s soft eyes that tell her she’d be accepting and understanding. (Not that it matters. She doesn’t need her approval. She’s only starting to find the blonde tolerable.)

“Well, it’s about time! Break a leg! Not really, you know what I mean!” 

Sooyoung indulges in her roommate’s cheesiness and with her help, selects the outfit in the middle: a black turtleneck, tights, and boots with a velvet, burgundy skirt.

Jinsol sends her off with a “Go get ‘em, tiger!” and Sooyoung finds it increasingly difficult to hate her. She makes one last stop at the campus gift shop before heading to Al’s dorm.   
  
The person who answers the door is wearing Al’s favorite baggy tee. When she looks up to the brawny young man with pearly teeth, (he looks like a reject from the cast of “Baywatch”) she finally understands Al’s fixation with the shirt. 

“Babe!” he calls for Al, as the weight of those four letters suffocate Sooyoung, “Your friend is here!” 

Sooyoung storms off before Al makes it to the door. She can’t bear to look at her and it’s far too early in the semester to break her hand on this guy’s exceptionally punchable face. 

“Sooyoung! Soo! Wait!” 

_Don’t turn around. Don’t turn around. Don’t-_

“What?!” 

“I can explain,” she pants. Sooyoung’s long legs bring her to the end of the hallway and Al can hardly keep up with her. 

“Explain that you’ve had a boyfriend all this time?!” Sooyoung shouts, secretly hoping Al's neighbors will hear the commotion. 

“Not all this time. I reconnected with Richard over the break. There were some unresolved feelings from senior year and well, we resolved them.” 

“Is this the good news you promised? I can’t imagine what fucked up definition you have for bad news!” 

“Sooyoung,” Al reaches for her hand which she swats away instantly. “Sooyoung, I thought you’d be happy for me. You’re my friend.” 

Hearing that label once from Baywatch and a second time from the woman she truly believed liked her back, awakens a beast in Sooyoung. 

“You knew I wanted more than that! You knew how I felt about you! What was I to you? A warm body? I’m such an idiot for letting you string me around!” 

“You were more than just a warm body. You comforted me when I was missing home. That’s the problem - you’re a little _too good_ at comforting me. I mean, Richard’s great but he’s no Sooyoung. There’s no other girl I’d pick to go the other way with…” It's the most backhanded compliment Soooyoung has ever received. 

“I’m not your fucking experiment," Sooyoung whispers, this time fighting back tears. 

“I’m sorry, Soo.” 

Sooyoung tosses the can of Planters Honey Roasted Cashews at Al, “Here. I got you these instead of candy because you said prefer nuts. If I wasn’t so pissed off right now, I’d laugh at the irony.” Then she throws her the bouquet of tulips she meticulously chose to match Al’s personality. (She should have bought her the wilted ones. Or a cactus.) 

“And here. Because you think roses are overrated.” 

Sooyoung can tell Al has more pathetic excuses and apologies to make but she refuses to let her have the last word. 

“When little Dick asks who gave you these flowers, you tell him it's from Sooyoung. The girl whose name you've been screaming for the past four months." 

* * *

Sooyoung doesn’t have time to grieve what could have been. She learns that the world continues to turn even when hers stops. There will always be papers to write, choreographies to learn, and roommates to nag. 

Worst of all, she has to see her ex friend-with-benefits everyday for the next three and a half years at BBCU. She only talks to her when absolutely necessary and keeps the eye contact at a minimum. In fact, she’s slowly forgetting the details of Al’s stupid, manipulating face that she so passionately memorized. 

One night, when Jinsol’s blinding lava lamp ruins her already unstable sleep schedule, Sooyoung allows herself the guilty pleasure of missing Al or rather, the idea of her. Having someone to hold hands with under the library tables, to sneak into parties for the free booze and stay for the free drama, and to share one’s hopes, dreams, and fears at 3 A.M — when the only people awake are truck drivers and/or the lonely, depressed, and broken-hearted. 

But why lose sleep over someone who’s sleeping with someone else? _Get over her already. Listen to blondie and detach yourself from Al. No, she’s not Al anymore. She’s Alexis. Fuck Alexis._

She tosses the covers, gets out of bed, and pulls a sheet of lined paper and a red pen from Jinsol’s desk. She begins writing a set of ground rules, a code of conduct to ensure that she’ll never again have to endure the wretched pain of unrequited love. She spends the remainder of her freshman and sophomore years abiding by these regulations like a fanatic. But it’s the first rule that Sooyoung holds to the utmost importance. 

_Rule #1:_ _Never fall for a girl, no matter how perfect she may seem. _

* * *

* * *

**September 1995**

“It was nice to meet you, Sooyoung Ha. I’m still Jiwoo Kim!” 

_Never mind._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slight angst :/ but Chuuves will meet in part 2 of the series (along with the rest of the ships). For now, the Squad needs to come together. 
> 
> Do you hate Alexis as much as Jinsol and Chuuves? How does Haseul enter the picture? Would you read a Hannah MOMOntana spin off? 
> 
> Thanks for reading. Stay safe, drink water, you matter.


	5. Desperate Blub Blub Blubs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April 2024: Sooyoung wraps up her part of the Triple S origin story and Jinsol takes over
> 
> January 22, 1994: A kind stranger in the Mobius dorm laundry room talks some sense into Jinsol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t wait for y’all to read this chapter! Happy belated birthday to leader Haseul. I miss her :(

**April 2024 - Wong-Jo Living Room  
**  
“Alexis is cancelled!” Yeojin tweets as she hangs upside-down on her parents’ “Swedish imported” couch. (The Ha-Kims and Kim-Jungs don’t have to know it came from their local IKEA). 

“Moms, with the power of social media and a Red Bull, I will track down this hag. Maybe I should call my hacker guy. Let’s see if we can find a way to redirect all her packages to our house.” Hyejoo scrolls through her favorite contacts and taps “Dave.” 

“Hey, it’s Olivia.” 

“Is that Dave?!” asks Yerim, “tell him I said hi!” 

The mothers stare at each other in confusion. Jinsol and Jungeun are especially dumbfounded — they cannot imagine their innocent, Disney princess of a daughter knowing a hacker, let alone being on a first-name basis with him. 

“Choerry says hi. Anyway, I need you to take care of someone. Alexis… Mom what did you say her last name was?” 

Sooyoung, easily manipulated by her child, almost answers. She’s stopped by her wife who snatches Hyejoo’s phone from behind. 

“Hello, Dave is it? This is Jiwoo, Olivia’s mother. I don’t know who you are or how you have my child’s phone number but trust that you will be dealt with.” Jiwoo confiscates her daughter’s phone and the kids see where this is heading. 

“Goodbye dear friend,” Yeojin laments to her cracked iphone 14 as she hands it over to Vivi. 

“Yerim, please explain how you know this Dave,” Jungeun asks as she accepts her daughter’s phone.

“He graduated last year. He was on the dance team.” Yerim observes one of Jungeun’s forehead veins popping out in stress. “Don’t worry he’s a real nice guy!” 

“He’s a criminal! Why would you talk to him?” 

Yerim looks to the floor and shyly plays with her shoelaces. “Well it was supposed to be a surprise but… that Gundam that Mom’s been trying to find for _ages_ finally popped up on an online auction. People were outbidding me and I needed Dave’s help.” 

Jinsol spills her cola all over Vivi’s new couch. “THE PG 1/60 RX-78-2?!” 

(Jinsol once suggested this lengthy name as an alternative to “Yerim.” Jungeun did not find it funny nor a fitting name for a child. A few years ago, when SpaceX CEO Elon Musk and musician Grimes announced the birth of their son X Æ A-12, Jinsol finally issued Jungeun a long-due apology.) 

“Yes!” 

“GOLD VERSION?” 

“Obviously!” 

The slightly-obsessed Gundam builder does a surprisingly successful cartwheel across the living room and hugs Yerim with all her might. 

“While I don’t want to ruin the moment, and what you did for Mom was very sweet,” Jungeun interjects, “you’re still grounded. Yeojin and Hyejoo too for talking to that shady kid.” 

Yerim nods understandably while Jinsol whispers in her ear, “I’m getting you that pony you’ve been asking for since you were 3. You’re getting all the ponies.” 

* * *

After a brief recess in which Jinsol helps Vivi clean up her spilt soda and flip the couch cushion and Jungeun and Jiwoo contact Dave’s mother, Sooyoung resumes her story. 

“Where was I? Oh right, Alexis.” 

Sooyoung hears a collective “Ugh” and a faint “Lock her up!” from Yeojin. 

“There are three things that unfortunately, I must credit to Alexis. First, my heartbreak.” Sooyoung clicks to the next slide of their powerpoint: the meme of Squidward laying in bed listening to music. 

“Second, the rough draft of what would one day become the Code of Conduct.” The Sapphic Singles Squad founder holds up the laminated document for everyone to see. 

“And third,” Sooyoung gazes at Jinsol, “my eventual friendship with the roommate I loved to hate.” The kids and mothers smile at the image of the 20-year-old best friends in a heated arm wrestling match. 

“Kids, I don’t harbor any resentment towards Alexis. Not anymore. It took a lot of growing up for me to realize that meeting people like her… Medusa? Really Jinsol?” 

“You didn’t have any pictures of Alexis, what else was I supposed to put?” Jinsol smirks.

“Like I was saying, even if encountering negative people is a part of life, you can’t let them stunt your positive growth. With the help of Triple S and time, I got over Alexis and I realized that I deserved better." 

Sooyoung reveals a perfectly assembled collage of the most important woman in the world. The slide contains pictures of every iteration of Jiwoo from college student to teacher to wife to mother. Sooyoung has spent 29 amazing years getting to know each version of her and loving each one more than the last. 

In the center is a Polaroid that Sooyoung took of Jiwoo just the other day. She’s holding a coffee mug and staring out their windowsill, with a look on her sun-bathed face that can only be described as serenity. 

> _“Hey! I wasn’t ready!” Jiwoo pouts._ _  
>   
>  _ _Sooyoung shakes the instant film and waits for the image to appear. “Wow. Still beautiful. What were you looking at?”_ _  
> _ _  
> _ _“The Johnsons’ front yard.”_ _  
> _ _  
> _ _“Ah. Their garden is goals. I’m saying that right, right?”_
> 
> _“Yep. But I wasn’t looking at their garden.”_
> 
> _Sooyoung expects Jiwoo to answer something along the lines of “The children riding their bikes” or “The Yangs walking their too-cute-for-words Pomeranian." But after over two decades of marriage, Sooyoung should know better than to predict the unpredictable Jiwoo._
> 
> _“You see the husband’s loud motorcycle is gone? What a relief! He works on that thing in the middle of the night! Who knew it would take their divorce to get us some well-deserved rest?" Jiwoo lowers her voice once she sees Hyejoo coming down the stairs, "I heard he can’t get it up anymore. No wonder they call him Viagra Victor.”  
>    
>  "Jiwoo!"   
>    
>  _

"It took the wrong person to meet the right one,” Sooyoung concludes. _  
_

Yeojin and Yerim give Sooyoung a standing ovation.   
  
“That was adorable!” yells Yerim. 

“You did it! Ya got me! I said I wouldn’t cry but alas I am a soft bitch. At least I own up to it, unlike your kid!” Yeojin refers to Hyejoo’s teary-eyed fixation on the wall clock. 

“Am not crying!” 

Much like Victor Johnson who has no regard for his neighbors’ sleep, Jiwoo and Sooyoung shamelessly put on a public display of affection so inappropriate, Hyejoo’s certain it will make appearances in her nightmares. 

“Ok! Are you done now? Is it safe to look?” asks Jinsol, eyes shut. 

Sooyoung fixes Jiwoo’s bangs before replying, “Take it away, Vice President and Professor Jinsol!” 

Jinsol dons her iconic tweed blazer and spectacles. She takes out her laser pointer and directs it at the date on the screen. “Ladies and young ladies. Founder Sooyoung has shown you her side of the story, now I shall show you mine. Let’s start with what happened on this historic date...” 

* * *

**January 22, 1994 - Dorm 97  
  
**“What day is it today?” Sooyoung asks as soon as she wakes up. 

Jinsol looks up from her newspaper and greets a bright, “Good morning!” to which Sooyoung grunts. 

“It’s the 22nd.” 

“I meant the day of the week, _blondie_.” Sooyoung’s tone is snarky, but not the snarky Jinsol is accustomed to. She sounds defeated - like the weight of a continent’s problems have just been thrust upon her as she walks down a dimly lit street in the pouring rain, umbrella-less. And the rent is due tomorrow. And there’s no point anyway because the world is ending. 

“Oh, sorry.” _Why should I apologize? She’s the one being rude._ “It’s Saturday!” 

Sooyoung buries her head in her hands and yells a muffled curse. 

Unbeknownst to Jinsol, dance majors like her hot-headed roommate spend their Saturdays in the studio brainstorming choreography for the following week’s dances. Last semester, Sooyoung and Alexis were the only ones who bothered to show up as the rest of their cohort were either hungover or unmotivated. 

The dancer drags herself out of bed and makes it two steps before she trips on a Gundam. 

“Ugh! What the fuck, Jinsol? I told you to pick up your damn toys. It’s like I’m your mother!” the exasperated roommate rubs and inspects her left ankle. She uses her right foot to kick the model under Jinsol’s bed.

“Hey, watch it! Don’t take it out on my _Gundams._ They’re not toys. You must have steady hands, finesse, diligence, and patience to build them.” 

“Don’t give me the speech again. I know ok? I know about the tools you use and how intricate the pieces are. I EVEN KNOW THE ONE I TRIPPED ON IS FROM THE F91 MODEL SERIES. YOU KNOW HOW I KNOW? BECAUSE IT’S ALL YOU EVER FUCKING TALK ABOUT.” 

Jinsol, who has always identified as “a lover, not a fighter,” finally stands up to her opponent. She’s been biting her tongue for so long, she’s starting to taste blood. 

“What is your problem? I’ve been nothing but nice to you! Yeah I can be a little messy and my interests are completely different than yours but could you at least respect me? You think you’re better than everyone! It’s probably the reason that Al guy rejected you. And you know what? I can’t blame him.” 

Jinsol takes a step back and brings a hand to her mouth. _I can’t believe I just said that_. 

Sooyoung picks up the laundry basket on Jinsol’s bed and limps towards her. 

“Go,” she commands, shoving the basket at Jinsol, “Do your errands, take a walk, whatever. Just get out.” Her eyes are downcast and teary. Jinsol anticipated Sooyoung to blow up on her, go on a Gundam-throwing rampage, and curse her out. She would take that enraged Sooyoung over this crushed, broken Sooyoung. 

“Please,” her voice breaks, “Leave.” 

* * *

The Mobius Dorm laundry room is a gossip hotspot. It’s also an excellent place to meet your future best friend after fighting with your other future best friend. 

Jinsol, riddled with a mix of guilt and anger, loses her concentration and slams the washer door on her pinky. “Ow!” 

She catches the attention of the three other occupants of the room, especially the short-haired brunette who’s been staring at her ever since she dumped detergent directly on her clothes instead of the assigned detergent slot. 

Jinsol stares back. The stranger appears worried for her well-being; it's almost like she witnessed the carnage at dorm 97 herself. She looks like the type of friend Jinsol would trust with her life, someone who would put up with her antics and join her in mourning day-old pet fish.

 _Sooyoung would never. All she does is yell at me and kill my fish. She kicked me out of my own dorm. I shouldn’t feel bad for her. Fish murderer._  
  
“MURDERER!” Jinsol’s terrifying outburst causes Jisoo and Lisa to abandon their laundry and evacuate the room. Still, the girl in the BBCU Track & Field shirt remains. 

“Oh my god, I didn’t mean to say that out loud. I’m so sorry if I scared you!” 

The girl flashes her a charming smile and inches closer, only one washer separates them now. 

“It’s alright. We all think out loud sometimes. In fact, I should be the one apologizing. I swear I was only staring at you out of concern, not because I was having um homicidal thoughts.” 

“No need to apologize. I was the one acting weird. And you’re not a murderer, my roommate is.” 

The brunette stops sorting her socks and closes the gap between them. “I know I’m just a stranger in a laundry room but do you mind elaborating?” 

“It’s a loooong story,” Jinsol chuckles. 

The girl points to the timer on her washer. “I just started another load. I’m gonna be here for a while. Tell me about this roommate.” 

* * *

By the time the brunette’s laundry cycle finishes, Jinsol barely reaches the fish-murdering part of her story. Although the girl prefers air drying her clothes, she opts to use the mechanical dryer to buy Jinsol more time. She finds the blonde as fascinating, if not more so, than her tales. Jinsol has the most expressive face she’s ever seen - her eyebrows configure into sine, cosine, and tangent waves depending on her current emotion and her mouth moves animatedly as she ranks her favorite seas in various categories (i.e. “diversity in marine life,” “swimmability,” and “overall coolness”).  
  
When the frazzled blonde finally summarizes this morning’s blowout, the patient stranger offers life-altering advice. Had Haseul not shared her perspective, Jinsol and Sooyoung might never have crossed the line from roommates to best friends (and later, each other's maid of honors.) Sure, mutual hatred of Alexis also brought the two together but, well, fuck Alexis. 

“Wow. Your roommate sounds-” 

“Abrasive? Rude? Disrespectful?”

“Completely justified in her actions. If my roommate said those things to me and left her crap all over the floor, I’d kick her out too!” 

Jinsol raises her right brow and drums her fingers on the folding table. “After everything I just shared, I thought you’d be on my side.”   
  
“Look, I’m a neutral party in all of this. I don’t know you or your roommate and it seems like you don’t know her either.” 

“After spending four months in a tiny box with her, I’m pretty sure I know Sooyoung Ha better than anyone else at this school,” says Jinsol, much too confident. 

“Your roommate is Sooyoung Ha?!” asks the girl in disbelief, “Do you realize how lucky you are? People would kill to be in your spot!” 

Jinsol rolls her eyes. “I don’t get it. Why do people worship the ground she walks on?” 

The track athlete picks up a spare Frequency of the Month, the student-run newspaper, and flips to the “Outstanding Orbits: BBCU’s Got Talent” section. Sooyoung has the full three pages dedicated to her. The cover photo is of her in a tutu perfectly executing a Grand Jeté, an infamously difficult and demanding ballet jump. Only then does Jinsol realize Sooyoung does not walk — she flies. And she nearly took that gift away from her when she left her treasured XM-05 Berga Giros on Sooyoung’s footpath. 

“I almost broke a ballerina’s ankle,” Jinsol exhales, “Add that to her list of grievances.” 

“Not just any ballerina,” the brunette corrects, “She went to one of the top ballet schools in the country. She even received an offer to dance in Paris but she rejected it. She didn’t tell you any of this?” 

“No. I didn’t even know she was a dance major and she made me leave before I got to that section. Why would she turn it down?” 

The athlete begins packing her neatly folded clothes in her basket and heading towards the door. She doesn’t have all day to solve this chaotic blonde’s problems. 

“That’s a question for Sooyoung.” 

“I don’t wanna ask her,” whines Jinsol, “Can’t you do it for me instead? Better yet, be my roommate! Ditch that Wendy and run away with me! I had a better time talking to you for these past 30 minutes than I did with Sooyoung all semester!” 

The brunette laughs at Jinsol’s brazen proposal. “I’m flattered but no thank you. You two have serious issues that you need to work out. And if you get her to talk, make sure you listen, not hear.”

“What’s the difference?” 

“Friends listen. Good luck!” The girl leaves before Jinsol can ask for her name. 

_That’s a shame. I hope I see her around. She was totally pulling off that cute bob._

Jinsol resumes reading Sooyoung’s article and learning about the roommate she foolishly thought she knew. But then her eyes drift to the photo credit. 

_Photo by Alexis Azhoule. No. It can’t be her. Surely the BBCU admissions office filters out applications sent from hell.  
_

* * *

Sooyoung doesn’t go to practice. She sits frozen on her bed, Jinsol’s scathing words replaying over and over like the worst earworm imaginable. She knows her roommate is right — Sooyoung is far from humble. 

When Sooyoung was given her first solo, she went beyond the 2 minute limit and refused to perform the adequate choreography provided by her teacher. The moves were far too elementary for the 10-year-old. She made the choreography her own, adding in more leaps and spins all the while preserving her impeccable technique. When Ms. Jackson responded by cutting her from the class, Sooyoung knew her abilities even had the power to make grown adults jealous. From then, Sooyoung stopped feeling guilty for outshining her peers and proceeded to raise the bar to impossible standards. 

But when it comes to relationships, Sooyoung could not be more different. She treats each and every one of her three ex-girlfriends, two-week flings, and one-night stands like royalty. Sooyoung initiates cuddles, kisses girls like they’re about to slip away then pulls them back in, simultaneously grounding them and sweeping them off their feet. Sooyoung looks for any opportunity to call her lady “beautiful.” She called Alexis “gorgeous” an average of three times an hour. What a waste of words on someone with such an ugly attitude. 

“Good! You’re still here!” Jinsol’s cheery voice breaks the silence Sooyoung’s been wallowing in for the past hour. 

“It’s not like I can go anywhere. My ankle’s all fucked up.” 

“Oh no,” Jinsol frowns, “Stay right there! I know something that might help.” 

“I literally just said I can’t move!” 

Jinsol returns with a bag of ice and a spare pillow. She digs through her junk drawer and pulls out an ace wrap bandage. 

“What are you doing?” 

Jinsol shushes her injured roommate and gently lifts her left ankle.  
  
“What the hell?!” 

She assesses for swelling and redness and nods to herself. “I don’t need to wrap your ankle. Just keep it elevated on this pillow and ice it in 20 minute intervals. Relax, Ms. Ha. You’ll be fine.” Jinsol wipes her hands on her jeans and pats herself on the back. 

A smile begins to form on the corner of Sooyoung’s mouth. She’s impressed. “How do you know all this?” 

“My mom’s a nurse. And I’m not the dumb blonde you think I am. I’m double majoring in marine biology and applied mathematics.” 

Sooyoung places her hand on Jinsol’s. Although the gesture is foreign, it isn’t awkward. “I never thought you were dumb.” 

“Really?” Jinsol asks, eyes still fixed on their hands. 

“Yeah. ‘Blondie’ is just a nickname. I give nicknames to my friends and other people in my life. If it bothers you I can stop.” 

_Aww my roommate has a nickname for me! But_ _where do I fit in? Friends or other people?_

“No!” Jinsol raises her hand, breaking their contact. “It’s ok. I don’t mind!”  
  
Sooyoung’s stomach grumbles and she remembers that she hasn’t eaten breakfast. “I’m starving. What did they have at the cafeteria today?” 

“I think the usual cereal and toast. The special was that French tart thing.” 

“Quiche?” asks the almost-Parisian. 

“Right. Anything else I can get you?” Jinsol jots the order down on her notepad. She carries paper and a golf pencil everywhere she goes, just in case she gets a brilliant idea or a kind stranger says something profound. So far, today’s page reads: 

> _1\. Is it possible to sneeze with your eyes open?_ _  
> _ _2\. “Listen, don’t hear. Friends listen” - bob girl from laundry room_ _  
> _ _3\. Find Alexis Asshole  
>  _ _4\. Quiche_

“No, that’s all. You don’t have to get it for me.” 

Jinsol squeezes Sooyoung’s shoulder. “I’m kind of the reason you’re physically unable to get it. Be right back."

* * *

“Baguettes!” 

“Meh.” 

“Berets!” 

“You don’t have to be in Paris to wear them.” 

“THE EIFFEL FRICKIN TOWER.” 

“Overrated.” 

“Sooyoung, how do you know if you haven’t seen it for yourself?!” 

A breakfast, lunch, and two snack breaks later and Jinsol hasn’t received the answer to one of today’s most pressing questions: Why turn down espressos in Paris for instant coffee at BBCU? 

“I don’t need to see it. I never wanted to go to Paris and I still don’t. I had this gut feeling, it’s kinda hard to describe. Like a little voice in my head that told me I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be,” Sooyoung switches her gaze from Jinsol’s 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea poster to Jinsol herself. “You must think I threw away the opportunity of a lifetime.” 

“I think you’re brave,” the blonde compliments. “Besides, pretty much every decision I make is a gut decision. It gets me into trouble sometimes but one thing’s for sure: I’ll never have any regrets. Neither will you.” 

Thank goodness for Jinsol’s iron-clad gut. It was a gut decision to commit to BBCU over YGU. It was a literal gut decision to not eat that expired yogurt, even though it smelled and looked fine. It _will_ be a gut decision to invite her new coworker, Jungeun, to karaoke night with Sooyoung and her girlfriend Jiwoo. Thank goodness for that one. Thank goodness for her. 

“I’m sorry about Moon. I never apologized. And I’m sorry for making fun of your hobbies." 

_An apology? From Sooyoung Ha, hot-shot, world-class dancer? Am I dreaming?_

“Hey, don’t sweat it. That was six fish ago. I’m sorry for calling you a cold-hearted bitch.”

“You never said that.” 

_Crap. We were just getting somewhere!_

“I might have called you that in my head. Sorry. I’m being such an Alexis Asshole.” 

Jinsol doesn’t notice she’s drained the color out of Sooyoung’s face. “What?!” 

“Oh it’s this girl I had the _displeasure_ of meeting at my middle school’s Gundam building competition. She superglued the jaws of my pliers together so I couldn’t open them. Stole first place from me.” 

Jinsol picks the pencil out of her pocket and breaks it in half. “Argh! That’s better! You know, I almost forgot that she goes here but then I saw her credited in the paper. Wait a second… she took your photo! Don’t tell me you looked Medusa in the eyes!” 

Sooyoung disobeys Jinsol’s medical advice and gets up on her two feet. 

“Hey! Don’t undo our progress! What do you need? Whatever it is, I’ll fetch it for you.” 

“My backpack, please,” Sooyoung requests, breathless.

Jinsol hands Sooyoung her bag and waits anxiously. 

“Is this the Alexis you’re talking about?” Sooyoung shows Jinsol a Polaroid of her archenemy holding a triple scoop ice cream cone. 

“Ha!” she laughs haughtily, “I’m surprised the ice cream wouldn’t melt instantly in her grasp. That’s Alexis Asshole, alright.” 

Sooyoung takes the Polaroid back with shaky hands. “Her last name is pronounced Ah-zool.”

”I don’t care. I’m going to call her what she is. Why do you have her photo?” 

Jinsol recognizes Sooyoung's expression. She’s reminded of her own nervous reflection in the mirror all the times she’s practiced coming out. 

_Is Sooyoung... Is Alexis..._

“Alexis is Al. The ‘guy’ I was seeing,” Sooyoung states with air quotes. “She led me on to believe she actually liked me and that I had a chance. Then last Friday, her boyfriend opened the door.” 

Jinsol balls her fists and marches toward the door. “Where does she live?” she asks, voice low and menacing.

* * *

**April 2024 - Wong-Jo Living Room**

“Go Mom!” 

“I’m changing my mind. I’d want Aunt Sol backing me in a fight!” 

Hyejoo brings her friends back to reality. “You guys really think Aunt Sol beat up Alexis? Remember when she took us to see Finding Dory and she cried harder than the actual babies in the theater? Does that sound like a badass to you?” 

“Kids, violence is never the answer,” Jinsol chastises, earning approving nods from Jungeun and Vivi (Jiwoo on the other hand, is known to utilize her taekwondo skills if the situation escalates.) 

“Also, I didn’t cry because of the plot. I cried because I thought of the real life implications of overfishing on our beloved oceans. I just want you girls you grow up in an earth that is-“ 

Sooyoung steals Jinsol’s laser pointer from her hands and playfully directs it at Jinsol’s forehead, nose, and chin. “Sooyoung, what are you doing?” 

“Now that I have _your_ attention, can we get back to the story? We’re getting sidetracked again.” 

Jinsol takes back the laser. “Ok. Kids and Jungeun, you know i’m a lover, not a fighter,” Jinsol winks at her wife. 

“Ew mom.” 

“Well anyway, as you guessed, I didn’t assault she-who-must-not-be-named. Luckily my best friend was there to hold me back.”

* * *

**January 22, 1994 - Dorm 97**

Very few have witnessed the wrath of an unbridled, unhinged Jinsol Jung. As a woman of science, Jinsol is inherently logical. But when a threat such as Alexis Azhoule appears to physically or emotionally hurt her family or friends, Jinsol abandons all logic. 

“Where does she live?” she repeats, “I’m gonna teach her a lesson. Let’s hope her health insurance covers for a classic Jinsol Jab to the Jaw.” (Jinsol has never punched anything except the air).  
  
“Jinsol, sit down.” 

The disgruntled blonde sits beside Sooyoung on her bed. 

“So are you ok with this?” Sooyoung asks shyly. 

“OK? THAT ASSHOLE RUNS FREE BREAKING HEARTS AND STEALING FIRST PLACE FROM THE PEOPLE WHO RIGHTFULLY DESERVE IT AND YOU THINK I’M OK WITH THAT?” 

Jinsol’s nostrils flare like a battering ram and her knuckles turn white. 

“I meant are you ok with me… you know, being gay?” 

Jinsol’s frown slowly transforms into a thin smile, then a full-blown beam. She takes a deep breath and unclenches her fists. 

“Sooyoung,” she says the name softly, with adoration, “It’s one of the few things we have in common.” 

“You’re gay too?” Sooyoung asks innocently. 

“Last time I checked, yep. I could check again if you like.” 

Sooyoung runs her hands through her silky hair. “My roommate is also a lesbian and she knows my ex friend-with-benefits. She met her at a nerdathon tournament. Oh my god, I slept with a nerd. No offense to your people, Jinsol.” 

“Oh my people don’t claim _her._ My people believe in dignity, honesty, and basic compassion. She does not _deserve_ to be called a nerd. She is a pitiful excuse for a human being and starting today I’m blaming her for everything that has gone wrong, is going wrong, and will go wrong in my life. That bitch was behind Moon Sr.'s murder for sure. You’re off the hook. Why are you laughing?” 

“I’m sorry. I know-I know it’s not f-funny.” But it is. Jinsol’s ridiculously biased murder accusation is actually legitimate. “You're right! She did kill your fish. I brought her to our dorm and she knocked Moon Sr. off the desk.” 

“MEDUSA WAS HERE IN OUR HOME?!” Jinsol gets up and frantically sweeps the textbooks, papers, fish food, and yes, even Gundams, off her desk. “Get the Clorox! We need to disinfect!” 

If telling the truth about Moon’s demise was all it took to get Jinsol to tidy up, Sooyoung would have confessed months ago. And had she known about her roommate’s fierce loyalty to her friends, to the point that she’d blindly get in a fistfight with a girl who’d undoubtedly demolish her, Sooyoung would have sat her down for a proper heart-to-heart the day they met. 

“How does she sleep at night, knowing what she did? Does she not relive that moment? Does she not hear Moon Sr’s final desperate blub blub blubs?” Jinsol moves from her section of the room to their sink. “It's simple — she doesn’t have a conscience. I WANT MY BLUE BETTA BACK BITCH!” 

“Jinsol, stop! Don’t use the bleach wipes on the plates!” 

The reckless blonde sets her Back to the Future plate down and leans over the sink. 

“You need to breathe, ok? I know you hate her-” 

“I _loathe_ Appendicitis." 

“Really? You loathe her? Because of an accident and some petty thing she did when you guys were 12? Those aren’t real reasons to despise someone you barely know. You weren’t the one she left. You weren’t the one who got attached to a bunch of empty promises. I should be the one to loathe her. I _really really_ liked her.” 

Sooyoung has more to say but the lump in her throat mutes her. She hasn’t gotten the chance to verbalize just how much Alexis scarred her. 

“I know.” Jinsol turns to face her vulnerable roommate. “You used to skip.” 

“What?” Sooyoung asks hoarsely. 

“Every time you’d announce that you were going to her place, you’d skip like a kid in a candy store,” Jinsol smiles fondly at the memory of Sooyoung prancing down the hall, ignoring the “Wet Floor” sign. She loves that carefree side of Sooyoung the most. As her roommate (and friend), she wishes she saw it more often. 

“I think she took that away from you,” Jinsol sighs and slings a dish towel over her shoulder.  
  
_Should I say it? Are we ready for a Hallmark card moment? We’re not close like that yet. She looks sad. I should say it._

“You’ll find someone who gets you to skip again. Someone who will skip for you too.” Jinsol’s sincerity touches Sooyoung and erases whatever remaining distaste she had for the blonde. 

_She doesn’t look as sad anymore.  
  
_“Thanks Jinsol. I needed that. I hope you find a girl to build Gundams with. Or if she can’t build them, I hope she enjoys watching you.” 

“You!” Jinsol throws the dirty dish towel at Sooyoung, “You never called them ‘Gundams’ before!” 

“So?” asks a sheepish Sooyoung. 

Jinsol picks up the model Sooyoung tripped on this morning. “And you _accurately_ identified this Gundam from the F91 model series.” 

The perfect ballerina begins to turn red. “Well, like I said. I hear you talk about Gundams all the time.” 

Jinsol opens her arms and slowly approaches Sooyoung for a friendly embrace. “No, you _listen_ to me talk about Gundams. You care about what I care about! You consider me your friend don’t cha? You secretly want a secret handshake don’t cha? Sooyoung, you big softie!” 

Sooyoung grumbles in Jinsol’s bear hug. “Maybe I’m just a good listener.” 

The excuse goes in one of Jinsol’s ears and out the other. “You’re my friend. We’re friends now. Let’s get friendship bracelets! Or do you prefer necklaces? Your pick!” 

“No friendship jewelry of any kind,” Sooyoung protests, “I don’t do that matching crap.” 

* * *

**January 22, 2007 - Babies R Us**

“Jinsol, over here!” Sooyoung calls from Aisle 12. 

“Duuuuude,” an astonished Jinsol proclaims, “Nice find! Check out the wheels! Steering looks good too. Seems comfortable and the dual cup holder is off the charts!” 

“There’s only two left. Wanna take them for a ride?” Sooyoung winks. 

Without hesitation, Jinsol carefully removes 7-month-old Yerim from her baby carrier and places her in the brand new Comfy Cruiser 2007 - the Rolls Royce of strollers. Sooyoung does the same with 2-month-old Hyejoo. The new mothers smoothly push their children down the aisle. 

“Now for the ultimate test,” Jinsol whispers as she peeks inside, “Mine’s still asleep. Sweet! How’s your kid?” 

Sooyoung gives her friend a thumbs up. “Happy 13 years, Sol! Matching strollers are way cooler than friendship bracelets!” 

“Definitely!” Suddenly, Jinsol develops a goofy grin. Sooyoung hasn’t seen this look since they traded out beer bongs for sippy cups. 

“Oh no. What are you thinking?” 

Jinsol scans the area for employees and hypercritical wives. 

“Let’s see how fast these bad boys can really go. Should we hand the babies over to Jiwoo and Jungeun so we can race?” 

“You’re on, blondie.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alexis’s last name can also be pronounced like “azul,” Spanish for blue, aka Jinsol’s favorite color. That's reason #1001 for hating her. 
> 
> Yvesoul friendship secured. Don't forget about the girl from the laundry room! Haseul may seem like the most responsible of the 3 but she's gonna bring in her own brand of clownery. 
> 
> College Lipsoul were coworkers to friends to lovers. Any guesses as to where they worked? I'll keep throwing in sprinkles of the ships until they get the spotlight in part 2 ;) Thanks for reading, commenting, and kudosing! Let me know what you think of this one! Stay safe, drink water, you matter.


	6. Talking to Three-Dimensional Women

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April 2024: Triple S are on thin ice with their wives
> 
> May-August 1994: Sooyoung “Yves” Ha volunteers as Jinsol’s wingwoman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Code of Conduct was heavily inspired by the Bro Code from How I Met Your Mother. If any of y'all watch it, think of Yves as Barney, Jinsoul as Ted, and Haseul as Marshall. If you don't watch it then just disregard this because...
> 
> LOONA IS COMING BACK

**April 2024 - Wong-Jo Living Room**

Typically, Family Game Night ends with the kids begging their mothers to go home at 9:00. 

The daughters began to dread the monthly custom when they noticed their parents took more of an interest in Just Dance and Twister than they did. But the return of Haseul, Jinsol, and Sooyoung as the Sapphic Singles Squad, dressed in fuckboy attire, performing “Cherry Bomb,” and telling tangential tales from their college years renewed their love for the tradition. 

“What’s the next story, Mom?” Yerim asks, wide-eyed and looking up at Jinsol like she holds the key to every door on the planet.   
  
The kids wish this night would go on forever. However, it’s already 10:45 and the wives are getting impatient. 

“I think your mom’s getting tired,” Jungeun yawns, “It’s getting late. Maybe you should call it a night, babe?” 

Jinsol glances at the cheap 1996 Batman watch Jungeun won for her during one of their arcade dates. Although it stopped ticking days after her girlfriend slipped it on her wrist, Jinsol kept it on for sentimental reasons. The old thing became an extension of Jinsol even when the other part of her, the better part of her — Jungeun, abruptly ended their blossoming relationship. 

> _March 1997_
> 
> _“I can’t believe you’re still wearing that thing,” says Sooyoung, pouring Jinsol a shot of Hershey’s Chocolate Milk, Jinsol’s “break up juice.'”_
> 
> _“I’ll take it off when I lose all hope that we’ll get back together. Until then, it stays.”_
> 
> _Haseul and Sooyoung exchange frowns. They both know the likelihood of that happening is slim-to-none._
> 
> _“Jinsol,” Haseul says tenderly, “It doesn’t look like Jungeun-“_
> 
> _“Damn it, guys!” Jinsol’s outburst startles the President and Queen of the Squad. “I’m tired of you two not believing in me and Jungeun. I was there when you fucked it up with Jiwoo!” She slides the shot glass in Sooyoung’s direction. “I was there when you massively fucked it up with Vivi!” She pokes Haseul’s cheek. “Can’t you be here for me?”  
>   
> _ _Sooyoung and Haseul nod solemnly._
> 
> _“We’re meant to be. We’re like Batman and Robin.”_
> 
> _“But Batman and Robin were just friends.”_
> 
> _“Those two wanted to leave Gotham, get a cottage, and be gay together. I’m a nerd, Sooyoung. I think I know my DC.”  
>   
> _

An older Jinsol taps her watch. “What are you talking about, Jungeun? It’s only 9:00.” 

“You and I both know that watch is broken.”  
  
“Yeah, this thing may have seen better days,” Jinsol resigns, “but I keep it close because it reminds me of you.” 

Jungeun stands up from the couch and places her hands on her hips. She knows Jinsol means well, but that doesn't mean she won't give her wife a hard time. “So you’re saying I’m old and dysfunctional.” 

“Not at all, honey! Just because you’re 47-” 

Everyone in the room except Jinsol cringes. “Yeah that’s it, Sol. Remind your wife how old she is,” says Sooyoung sarcastically. 

“... Doesn’t change anything. You’re still that young firecracker who made everyone’s heads turn when you walked in the room.” 

Jungeun’s face softens slightly. “Nice try, but we’re going home.” 

“Please let Mom continue her story, Ma! We really want to hear what happened next!” The daughters put on their best pouty faces causing Jungeun to give in. 

“Fine. But that’s strike one, Sol. And I’m confiscating your laser pointer just like I confiscated Yerim’s phone. It’s only fair.” She extends her hand to her wife and Jinsol gives it a squeeze. 

She tilts her head at her strict wife, her eyes pleading for forgiveness that comes much too easily, “I’m sorry, sunshine. You know it’s not the watch I love. It’s the girl who got it for me.” Jungeun hesitates before returning the pointer to Jinsol and giving her a quick peck on the cheek. 

“Really?! You fell for that, Aunt Jungeun? I’m a gazillion times better at flirting than Aunt Sol so why the hell am I still single?” Yeojin complains as she angrily munches on Pringles. 

Jinsol cleans her spectacles and chuckles. “You know, Yeojin, I wondered the same thing when I was 18.” 

* * *

**May 1994 : Dorm 97**

“UGHHHH” Jinsol groans after completing the fourth page of her statistics homework. 

“It was _your_ idea to major in nerdology and dork studies.” 

Jinsol rolls a spare piece of lined paper into a ball and throws it at her roommate. “Haha very funny. You must have a master’s degree in being an ass.” 

Sooyoung looks up from her Playboy. “No, Blondie, I have a master’s in _getting_ some ass.” 

The former secretary of the Environmentalists Club at her high school kills even more trees when she crumples five pages and throws them one-by-one at her arrogant roommate. Ever since Jinsol encouraged Sooyoung to get over her ex, Sooyoung had a string of one-night-stands and made it a habit to boast about all the fun she was having and how much happier she was. 

There’s no doubt Sooyoung’s enjoying her time at college. While average Joes and Janes have to bring their own booze or know the right people to gain admission to BBCU’s wildest, most exclusive parties, Sooyoung simply has to exist. She meets her conquests at these gatherings, tells them “I’m not looking for anything serious,” waits for the “Neither am I,” and flirts unapologetically for two or three songs before taking them back to their place to “do the horizontal tango,” as Jinsol likes to put it. 

Now, whether Sooyoung’s happy is a trickier question. Sure, students and faculty adore her, she gets to do what she loves as a major, and there’s never a dull moment with Jinsol Jung as her roommate.

But there remains an unmistakeable loneliness in her eyes that becomes apparent whenever Jinsol forces her to watch a romcom together or when they discuss the eventful love lives of their mutual friends Seulgi and Irene. Sooyoung claims she’s meant to be on her own. Clearly she hasn’t met Jiwoo Kim. 

“Are you happy with how your life is going?” Oh, Jinsol. About as subtle as an ambulance siren. 

The invasive question catches Sooyoung off guard. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was talking to a shrink. After all, you’re in a Winnie the Pooh onesie.” 

Jinsol removes her hood to give some impression of professionalism. “Ok maybe that came out wrong. I mean this whole commitment to no commitment. No strings attached setup you got going on… does it really help get your mind off things? Because as much as I love probability density functions, I’d rather not think about them every hour of the day.”

Sooyoung starts a slow clap, “Finally you decide to join me! I’ll be your wingwoman. Now, the first step is dressing to impress. Right now you’re dressing to depress.” 

“Well sue me for wanting to be comfy while I study,” Jinsol crosses her arms, “Plus, it makes me look cute and cuddly.” 

Sooyoung ignores Jinsol and retrieves the rough draft of the Code of Conduct from her nightstand drawer. The list of rules has grown considerably since she first constructed it that sleepless night in January. 

“Rule #19,” the Sapphic Singles Squad founder reads, “Before you get in her pants, make sure you look good in yours.” 

“Where is that from? The Fratboy Manifesto?” Jinsol challenges. 

Sooyoung seems so offended that Jinsol fears she might return to hating her guts. “Please. Frat boys wish they had what I have. This is the code of lesbian conduct, the secrets to staying single yet satisfied.” She hands the paper and a pen to Jinsol. “Follow the rules, sign on the dotted line, and I _gay_ ruantee you’ll never be bored or sexually frustrated ever again.” 

Jinsol gets past the title and the first restriction before she hands the Sapphic Constitution back to its writer with a curt “Thanks but no thanks.” 

“Why not?” Sooyoung whines like a petulant child. 

“The first rule says I can’t fall for anyone. You know me, Sooyoung. I fall for the girl at the library information desk, the barista at the coffee cart by the physics building, and anyone who smiles at me on my way to class. I’m looking for love and I have a lot of it to give.” Jinsol places her hand on her heart and looks off into the distance. “You may believe that romance is hopeless but I’m a hopeless romantic and I _know_ our girls are out there.” 

“FUCK YOU SOOYOUNG HA!” _Spoke too soon._

Sooyoung hears these distinctive sounds of eggs being thrown and bolts to open the door. “Becky? What are you doing?” 

Sooyoung’s April fling peeks inside, looking for someone to spread the word. Jinsol, still in her onesie, blinks in confusion. “Hi, I think you should know that your roommate,” she raises her voice for their neighbors and the residents two floors above them to hear, “SOOYOUNG HA WILL SLEEP WITH YOU AND NEVER CALL YOU AGAIN.” 

Becky pulls out another dozen eggs from her bag and throws them directly on the floor, leaving a gooey, yolky mess. “Fuck you, Sooyoung Ha,” she spits once again before running away, presumably to assemble a crusade of lesbians against the Triple S founder. 

Jinsol, aware of Sooyoung’s adamance about scrubbing every inch of their dorm, wrings a washcloth and begins cleaning. “Between Alexis Asshole and now this Bitter Becky, it looks like you’re collecting crazy exes in alphabetical order. You better not hook up with any Claires or Chloes.” 

The “Chloe” namedrop awakens Sooyoung from her trance. “Oh shit! I should cancel on her tonight.” Halfway into dialing her friend’s sister's roommate’s number, Sooyoung realizes her behavior is starting to mirror that of her manipulating ex, Alexis. 

“I don’t understand. I heavily implied to Becky that I was only looking for a fling,” she says more to herself than to Jinsol. 

The blonde abandons her task (she was only pushing around the yolks and making it worse) and helps Sooyoung reach an epiphany. “Well you need to be even more explicit when you state it. If you keep acting like this Sooyoung 2.0 who believes she’s God’s gift to women, one day you’ll open the door to a whole chicken coop.” She points to the floor, “Don’t be this Sooyoung.” 

The new and improved Sooyoung snatches the wet rag from Jinsol and cleans up the uncooked omelet with one quick wipe. “Jinsol, you’re a genius!” 

“I’m sure I am but why?” 

“Becky’s gonna keep bad mouthing Sooyoung Ha all over campus. The solution’s obvious. I’m not gonna be Sooyoung Ha.” 

* * *

The following week, Becky continues her Sooyoung defamation. The former womanizer can’t order a sandwich or check out a book without being asked, “Aren’t you the Sooyoung who sleeps with people and never calls them again?” to which Sooyoung responds, “I believe that’s none of your business” and leaves it at that. Unfortunately, Sooyoung’s denial is useless as a majority of the BBCU population recognizes her from her multiple appearances in the school newspapers. 

Becky takes her slander ten steps too far when she attaches flyers of “SOOYOUNG HA: LIAR” on every information board on campus. Sooyoung stares in despair as her reputation gets tarnished by a simple misunderstanding.   
  
“I’ll give it to the artist: that’s a pretty good drawing of pants on fire. But if that hideous woman is supposed to be you, well, whoever made this has never seen you in person.” The observation comes from a brunette in a track and field jersey. The same girl Jinsol vented to in the laundry room four months ago. 

She removes the flyer and gives it one last look before tossing it in the recycling bin. 

“Thanks. You’re probably the first person who hasn’t glared at me today.” The athlete smiles and Sooyoung continues to express her gratitude with a bigger grin. 

“I’m sorry people are so mean. I thought we left that all behind in high school.”  
  
Sooyoung scratches her head. “I guess not. I try not to let it get to me but it really sucks being treated like a leper.” 

The stranger chuckles, her laughter is unique in the sense that it sounds melodic, almost operatic? 

“You’re hardly a leper. Off the top of my head, I could name at least three of my friends who’d be so jealous that I’m talking to you right now. You’ve got guys and girls asking for your autograph.” 

_Girls, huh? Interesting._

“Ok now you’re just feeding my ego.” 

“I’m not exaggerating! You’re practically a local celebrity! And you should own it. Hire a PR team to clean your name! Hire a lawyer because I’m sure you can find a way to turn this around on whoever’s blackmailing you.” The short-haired brunette snaps her fingers, “You should make up a stage name! I think you could totally pull off just a first name like Cher or Madonna.” 

_Jinsol would like this girl. Perky, unbelievably optimistic, and full of wacky ideas._ _  
__  
_“I’m digging the stage name idea but I can’t afford a lawyer and I’m definitely not popular enough to warrant hiring a PR team. Maybe I’ll ask my roommate to help me take these down.”

The girl places her hands on her cheeks and beams, “Aww you two finally worked things out!”   
  
“Yeah Jinsol’s not that bad- Wait, how do you know her?” There's no way a total stranger would be this invested in her relationship with her roommate. 

The brunette opens her mouth to answer but ends up gasping instead. “Shoot! I’m gonna be late to practice again! Gotta run, literally!” 

Sooyoung’s so preoccupied with her own name that, like Jinsol, she forgets to ask the friendly brunette for hers. As she sprints in the direction of the BBCU tracks, Sooyoung can make out a “JO #3” on the back of her jersey. 

* * *

Apart from her first Gundam, the 1/144 RX-78-2, Jinsol’s most prized possession is the mini dry-erase board she uses to solve differential equations and sketch “original characters” for her comic strip. Admittedly jealous of seeing Sooyoung’s name all over the BBCU Daily and Frequency of the Month, Jinsol dreams of publishing “Jindori the Great,” a series about a quirky oceanographer (not marine biologist - that would be too predictable) ending poverty, wars, and famine with… well she’s still trying to figure that part out. 

Sooyoung breaks her from her thoughts as she storms into their room and points at Jinsol’s board. "I need that." 

“No!” Jinsol holds the board to her chest, “I’m working on something private. Just use my sticky notes.” 

Sooyoung grabs a hefty stack of Post Its and furiously scribbles and crosses out potential stage names for herself. First, she makes puns with her given name. _SOOthe. YOUNG Money. HAzel._ None of them sound right. 

Then she starts anew on another sticky note with names that exude elegance and sophistication.  
  
 _Rosé._ Although she thinks that one’s already taken by one of the Chaeyoungs in their cohort.   
  
_Solar._ Absolutely not. It sounds cool but there’s only enough room for one “Sol” in their household.   
  
“Uh, whatcha doing, roomie?” 

“Coming up with a new name. Gonna do a complete rebrand of myself.” 

“You know," Jinsol says with a mouthful of ramen, "When most people have an identity crisis they dye their hair or buy something expensive and regret it.” 

Jinsol continues to unintentionally inspire Sooyoung. “Yes! Something expensive. Do you think I could go by Mercedes? Or Lexus?” 

“Dude, you don’t even have a license and you wanna name yourself after a car. And Lexus sounds way too similar to-,” Jinsol gags, “your ex’s name.” The blonde picks up this morning's BBCU Daily, sifts through it, and lands on the economics section.

“If you _really_ want to sound like a tycoon, here’s a list of the most successful companies right now. Boeing. General Motors. Ford Motors.” 

“Who’s gonna go out with a girl named ‘Ford Motors.’ C’mon, Sol. I want my name to sound sexy.” 

Jinsol resumes reading, “Chevron. Exxon. PfffffHAHAHA you’d sound like a Transformer!” 

Sooyoung rolls up the newspaper and uses it to hit the top of Jinsol’s head. “Hey!” 

“I’m serious about this, Jinsol!” 

“Alright, alright, geez,” Jinsol composes herself, “Maybe the fashion section will give us some inspiration. How about Prada?” 

Sooyoung considers the name before ultimately rejecting it. 

“Balenciaga?” 

“Better. You’re on the right track.” 

“Yves Saint Laurent. Hey, how about Yves?” Jinsol nonchalantly suggests. There's a lot of pros to the name: it's short, it's French, it's classy, it's perfect. 

“Yves,” Sooyoung states as she studies her reflection in the mirror, “I like it.” 

* * *

**April 2024 - Wong-Jo Living Room**

“Ah so that’s how Aunt Sooyoung got the nickname,” Yerim proclaims. “Did you have one too, Mom?” 

Jinsol turns smug and wipes invisible dust off her shoulders, “Why yes I did. It was Jinsoul.” 

“Isn’t that just your name?” 

“Yes but with one letter added,” Jinsol corrects. She summons Haseul to stand up and join her as they face their families, still seated on the couch. “Let me demonstrate. Aunt Haseul’s going to play the role of ‘girl whose number I would like to get.’”   
  
Haseul gets into character by twirling her finger around a few strands of her hair and giggling at Jinsol flirtatiously. “You’re so funny and goofy!” she says as she slaps Jinsol’s arm playfully, “What’s your name?” 

Jinsol tucks her left hand in her back pocket and traces her jaw with her right. “My name is Jinsoul. That last part is technically spelled S-O-L but to complete my ‘Sol,’ I must add ‘U.’” She points to a giddy Haseul who fans herself before dramatically dropping to the floor. "You're amazing, Jinsoul. You're not like other girls!" 

“Lemme guess,” Yeojin side-eyes Jungeun, “That sad excuse of a pick-up line actually worked.”

“Only because she used it in our wedding vows. I wouldn't go out with Jinsol if she introduced herself like that.” 

“Honey, I could’ve said something ten times cornier and you still would’ve said ‘I do.’ Why do you always underestimate my smooth talk? In that window of time after Sooyoung and Jiwoo started dating and before I met you, I was quite successful in the lady department. I easily could have been the new president of the Squad!” 

Sooyoung, still partially immobilized from her back injury, weakly wags her finger at her friend.  
  
“No way, Sol. My position was never in danger. I wrote the Code, I tried to get us recognized by the university as a legitimate sorority, and I got so many girls’ numbers, my address book was like the lesbian Yellow Pages!” 

Yeojin, Hyejoo, and Yerim, too young to remember the aforementioned bright, telephone directory book, begin to lose interest in the adults’ conversation. 

Jiwoo, on the other hand, once owned a few copies of the hefty book and understands the implications of her wife’s statement. She narrows her eyes at the Triple S President, “So I was just another number to you out of dozens, maybe hundreds.” 

“I threw all those contacts away! If you’re a number to me, you’re my number one!” 

Jinsol laughs at Sooyoung’s hypocrisy. When the Vice President of the Squad uses a cheesy line, it’s cringeworthy. But when the President does it, it’s acceptable. 

“But you preserved the Code in all its laminated glory!” Jiwoo shoves her wife’s hand off her back. 

Sooyoung attempts to divert the blame to Jinsol, “I told VP Sol to burn it but she kept it for reasons I will never understand!” 

“I thought it would be a funny thing to look back on! It’s funny, right guys?” But none of the wives are laughing. 

Jiwoo mouths a “strike two” and tightens her hold on her wine glass. One more inappropriate comment from her wife, Jinsol, or Haseul, and she’ll shatter it completely. 

* * *

**June 1994 - Slice of Life Pizzeria**

With Jinsol and Sooyoung’s freshman year rapidly coming to a close, Jinsol intends to hit up her favorite spots on campus one last time with her roommate before returning home for their lengthy three-month vacation. 

“So tell me,” Jinsol holds her fist under Sooyoung’s mouth like a microphone, “What’s Sooyoung Ha’s plans for the summer?” 

“Shhhh! In public I’m Yves, remember?” Yves waves at the pack of sorority girls who just came in to order ten dozen pizzas. They swoon and giggle at being acknowledged by _the_ Yves and Jinsol shakes her head in judgment and a wee bit of envy. 

Jinsol knows this fabricated persona could not be further from the real Sooyoung. The genuine Sooyoung actively listens to Jinsol’s rants about the environment despite feigning indifference, places a pillow under her head when she’s fallen asleep at her desk, and reminds her to let loose and take risks. Sooyoung wants to find love — Yves wants to avoid it at all costs. 

“Fine. What are your plans, Yves?” 

“Not much. I’ll probably get a summer job since rent is gonna go up next semester. And it doesn’t look like we can pull in another roommate thanks to your ad.” 

Yves references Jinsol’s “GIRL ROOMMATE WANTED. REQUIREMENTS: MUST NOT BE HOTTER THAN US” flyer. 

“I’m sure people will realize I was only kidding. We’re gonna get a call from someone cool, just wait,” Jinsol says as she blows bubbles into her Sprite. 

(That “someone cool” is none other than Haseul Jo, treasurer of BBCU’s unsuccessful and widely-hated Parkour Club). 

“Speaking of calling someone,” Yves says, picking the pineapples off the pizza Jinsol ordered for her, “When are you going to ask out that girl from your anatomy class? Didn’t she invite you to her dorm to ‘study _your_ anatomy’?”   
  
“Why do you have to say it like _that_? I still think it means she wants to hold hands,” Jinsol obliviously responds. 

“Oh come on, Blondie! She obviously wants to hook up with you and you should seize the opportunity! Quit drawing those 2D women and go talk to a real one.” 

Jinsol’s freshman year isn’t complete until she embarrasses herself in every classroom and establishment on campus so of course she yells, ”I’m completely capable of talking to three- dimensional women!!!” when their waitress passes by. 

Yves hangs her head in shame. She can’t let her social stock plummet again. 

“If you’re right — and that’s a strong _if,_ ” she lowers her voice, “then I’d like to take her out on a date first. Need I remind you that I’m still looking for true love.” 

“Whatever. As long as you take her anywhere but here.”

* * *

Jinsol takes her classmate to the optimal date spot… for fifth graders who lack the emotional maturity to go on or even define a date. 

“Are ya having fun, Emily?” Jinsol asks as she hands her tokens over to the Chuck E. Cheese employee to redeem a rainbow slinky. At 7:30 P.M. on a schoolnight, the playplace is virtually empty.   
  
“Sure. But I think we’re ready for more adult activities now,” she whispers in Jinsol’s ear. 

“Great idea! Let’s go bowling!”  
  
Emily whispers something again, this time making her point crystal clear. Jinsol drops her slinky and gulps. She can hear Sooyoung screeching in her ear telling to go for it. " _Blondie, this is your shot! End your freshman year with a bang!"_

"Lead the way," she says with an arched brow. 

During their thirty-minute walk back to Emily’s dorm — Jinsol would take long, romantic strolls over public transportation any day — Jinsol tries to squeeze as much information out of Emily as she can. She asks her questions that she’d ask any prospective wife such as “Where do you see yourself in five years?” and “What do you think are your greatest strengths and weaknesses?” Luckily, Jinsol recognizes she’s killing the mood by turning this into a job interview. She asks her one final, serious question to which Emily gives the worst possible answer. 

“What’s one of your favorite childhood memories?” 

Emily sighs nostalgically. “My dad owns a power plant. When I was nine, he let _me_ pull the lever. I got to spill one million gallons of oil into the ocean. It was fun.”   
  
_She’s a pre-med major. This is the future of medicine. What the fuck? WHAT THE EVERLIVING FUCK?_

When they arrive in front of Emily’s dorm, Jinsol fakes a sudden cough and makes a million excuses to go home and get the hell away from her. Unfortunately, Emily doesn’t let her leave without a goodbye kiss. 

“At least tell me the kiss was decent,” says Sooyoung the next morning. 

Jinsol gets shivers up her spine as she recounts one of the most horrifying moments of her life. “I think she was trying to deepen the kiss to get me to stay but I felt like I was making out with a vacuum. Never again. Ugh. I’m never gonna get my hopes up like that again.” 

Jinsol’s uncharacteristic negativity leaves Sooyoung speechless. 

“I think, no, I _know_ ” Jinsol says confidently, “it’s time for me to sign the Code of Conduct.” She makes her way to Sooyoung’s nightstand. 

“It was a bad date, Blondie. You’ll get over it. There’s plenty of fish in the sea. You of all people should know that!” 

Jinsol clicks her pen and wipes away a tear. She leaves her signature and a doodle of her blue betta, Moon IX, in permanent marker. 

“She killed all the fish in the sea.” 

* * *

**August 1994**

Sooyoung spends the summer co-teaching beginning ballet to a bunch of rowdy, stubborn 5-year-olds who would much rather be learning the steps to Billy Ray Cyrus’s “Achy Breaky Heart” than the difference between a demi-plie and a grand-plie. But in the grand scheme of things, the difficult kids are actually the best part. The job pays dirt, the studio is in shambles, it’s always 2 degrees too hot or cold, and the _parents._

When she signed up to teach, Sooyoung unknowingly signed up as a marriage counselor. Half of her students come from divorced or separated households. When both guardians arrive to pick up their daughter, they argue that only one of them had to show up. When there’s the sole parent, the child asks for the other. Sometimes, neither one comes. In those cases, Sooyoung waits with the poor kid, ultimately riding the bus home with them.   
  
She starts to doubt the sanctity of marriage even more when she notices her own mother and father are just going through the motions. Her dad comes home at 5 P.M. and demands a snack before he even utters a greeting. Her mom usually has the trail mix prepoured and she hands it to him with her nose still in a book. He watches tv, she reads, he gets hungry again at 7 and they eat supper. They chat about the weather, stocks, ask Sooyoung about work, then they separate again - her mother washes the dishes, her father goes back to listening to some sportscaster talk about batting averages and other trivial things. 

What shocks Sooyoung the most is that they've grown complacent — they don't seem to care that the spark is gone because to reignite it would be to do something different. This dullness is all they know. Maybe it works for them and most married couples, but it would _never_ work for Sooyoung. She'd get too bored loving someone out of obligation. It's one of her greatest fears. So she writes down Rule #42 on the Code: _Don't become a trail mix couple. Keep that ring finger ringless._

Meanwhile, Jinsol stays behind at BBCU taking summer classes, making minimum wage as the Outdoor Greeter #2 at Fish & More Pet Store, and going on weekend dates that range from bad (although not as bad as the exonerated Emily) to mediocre. 

“I’m starting to think we attract awful people and repel all the good ones,” Jinsol postulates over the phone. 

“I take it your date didn’t go well?” 

Jinsol, ever the curious scientist, decides to test the length and durability of the coiled phone cord by taking their conversation from the kitchen to the living room. 

“Sucked as usual. We kept scaring off the waiters because she yelled at them for the dumbest reasons. The appetizers and entrees are on the same page of the menu. The ice is too cold. It’s _ice,_ lady! What do you expect?” 

Jinsol turns a corner, bringing the cord along with her and knocking the fishbowl housing Moon IX from her perpetually cluttered desk. “Shit!” 

This “shit” is all too-familiar to Sooyoung. It’s not the “shit” from forgetting to defrost the chicken or the “shit” from waking up on a Sunday thinking it’s already Monday. No, this distinct “shit” is the one Sooyoung hears seconds after the premature deaths of _their_ pet fishes. Sooyoung never cared for pets, even as a child, but Jinsol’s love for gilled creatures is infectious. Her attachment to their blue bettas grows with each “new Moon.” 

“RIP Moon IX. You had a good run,” Sooyoung raises her glass of water in a mock toast. 

“It’s fine, I’ll just get another betta at work,” says the irresponsible pet owner on the other end of the line, “They’re free with my employee discount.” 

Jinsol whizzes past the denial, anger, bargaining, and depression stages of grief and jumps right to acceptance. Odd. 

“Hey, are you like… ok? How are your feelings and shit?” 

“Has anyone ever told you how great you are at consoling?” 

“I’m trying here, Blondie.” 

Jinsol appreciates Sooyoung’s concern — it’s probably the sweetest moment of their tumultuous friendship thus far — but it’s not enough. 

She takes the deepest of sighs and stares blankly at the wet carpet. “I feel like I’m in a rut. I go to class, I go to work, I go home. It’s not just boredom I feel. I’m lonely, Sooyoung.” 

It takes one to know one. The difference is, Jinsol isn’t afraid to admit it. 

“Oh, I’m uh sorry you feel that way,” Sooyoung replies awkwardly.

“Plus there’s this little eight-year-old punk…” 

Jinsol catches Sooyoung up on her unlikely feud with Felix, the rambunctious boy who lives across the street from Jinsol’s workplace. On Mondays and Wednesdays, Felix makes the five-minute commute to the Fish & More Pet Store, tells Jinsol an unfunny knock knock joke, Jinsol laughs because it's the proper thing to do, and he enters the store to peruse the reptile aisles for two hours. 

“But he’s not there to shop, Sooyoung. I finally caught him in the employee backroom, putting blue cheese in the inner pockets of my Tuesday and Thursday owl costume. I’ve been inhaling that shit and smelling like it for weeks!” 

“They make you dress up as an owl?!” her roommate asks amused, “Remind me to bring my Polaroid when I visit you.” 

Sooyoung intends to capture every embarrassing Jinsol moment on film. She’s acquired enough content in their seven months of friendship to fill a medium-sized scrapbook. 

“It’s stupid. Owls aren’t even pets. And doesn’t that jerk have anything better to do? Why can’t he pick on someone his own size?” 

“Sol, he’s a kid. He has _nothing_ to do.” 

“Fuck them kids. Add that to the Code.” Jinsol doesn’t really register what she’s saying but she’s too fed up with her meaningless job and pathetic love life to take back her extreme proposition. 

Sooyoung holds the phone up to her ear as she pens the 43rd amendment to the Lesbian Constitution. “I think I’m supposed to talk you out of this but I honestly agree. What’s so appealing about those little blobs anyway? All they do is cry and not pay rent.” 

“Exactly! And when they cough and sneeze, it gets everywhere! I’m glad we’re on the same page, roomie.” 

* * *

**April 2024** \- **Wong-Jo Living Room**

The kids stare at Jinsol with hurt expressions. No one wants to hear they weren’t wanted. 

“So, you guys never wanted kids?” Yerim asks, the youthfulness and childlike-wonder drained from her voice and face. 

“No! That was just our _past_ selves being idiots,” Sooyoung emphasizes. 

“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean that!” Jinsol anxiously states, on the verge of tears. 

Hyejoo and Yerim don’t accept their mothers’ apologies. This is easily the biggest fuck-up of the night. 

“Mother,” Yeojin questions, “Did you agree to this rule?” 

_Things are about to spiral out of control in 3… 2… 1…_

“Well, yeah, everyone knows kids are annoying,” Haseul says casually. 

“Seul!” Sooyoung gestures to their children, “This is not what the audience wants to hear!” 

Haseul holds her hands out in front of her like it’s leg day and she’s about to do a round of squats. “You didn’t let me finish! I meant kids are annoying but not you three! We like you guys! You’re the exception! We like having you around!” 

The damage has already been done and all three Squad members have contributed. Hyejoo buries her head in Jiwoo’s shoulder, Jungeun rubs circles on Yerim’s back, and Yeojin demands an increase in allowance from Vivi due to the “emotional distress.” 

The PowerPoint that Jinsol prioritized over her own lectures, the choreography that Sooyoung carefully accommodated just for them, the costumes that Haseul meticulously chose to fit their “woman crush” concept, the life lessons and wisdom they planned to pass on to their offspring, it all comes crashing to a halt. Their wives are glowering at them with such hostility that only appears when their children are threatened.   
  
Vivi doesn’t need to verbalize it for them to know. This is strike three. 

* * *

Jungeun and Jiwoo drive their families home in uneasy, deafening silence. Jinsol and Sooyoung don’t sleep in their beds that night. It’s a minor punishment in comparison to Vivi who tells Haseul to “Get used to the couch for the next week. The only Triple S that’s happening is Spouses Sleeping on Sofas.” 

Unable to sleep without the comforting presence of Vivi to her left and the guilt eating away at her for making the children cry — well, Yeojin only cried because Vivi denied her a loan from the “National Bank of Mom” — Haseul opens up the Squad’s group chat.

>   
> **Haseul:** I’m sorry guys 😢
> 
> **President Soo:** It’s ok. We all blew it 
> 
> **VP Sol:** Junkie stole made at me
> 
> **VP Sol:** JUNGIE’S STILL MAD AT ME 
> 
> **VP Sol:** Sorry about typos. I’m trying to type while getting divorced 
> 
> **President Soo:** WHAT 😳
> 
> **Haseul:** JINSOL OMG 
> 
> **Haseul:** NO YOU GUYS CAN’T GET DIVORCED OVER THIS
> 
> **President Soo:** BLONDIE 
> 
> **President Soo:** WYA
> 
> **President Soo:** JINSOL?! 
> 
> **VP Sol:** Oh shot sorry my bed
> 
> **VP Sol:** Stupid autocorrect 
> 
> **VP Sol:** I meant to say I’m trying to type while eating dinner 😋
> 
> **VP Sol:** Triple S comeback made me horny 
> 
> **Haseul:** DUDE WTF? 
> 
> **VP Sol:** *HUNGRY 
> 
> **President Soo:** I’m getting the fuck out of this chat 🙄

  
Haseul looks up from her phone to see Yeojin in her pajamas, holding her cherished frog plushie. 

“Sorry you have to sleep on the couch, mother. I brought you Mabel so you have something to hug.” 

The mother’s heart swells at her child’s thoughtfulness and she graciously accepts the unwashed, ugly stuffed animal like a cup of water in the desert. Perhaps it’s her parental bias, but Haseul believes everything Yeojin touches turns to gold. 

“Thanks, kid. I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I can’t stress _enough_ how ignorant we were. I hate that you fell victim to that.” 

“You’re the real victim here! Mom kicked everyone out before we could get to your stories. I wanna hear how you got your tattoo and how you got banned for life from that roller rink." 

Haseul knows Yeojin would gladly pull an all-nighter listening to her ramble on about the good old days. But if tonight’s events have taught her anything, it’s that dwelling on the past is no way to live one’s life. Before Yeojin and Vivi, she was free to act recklessly without judgement — she had drunken, unadulterated fun. 

But her idea of “fun” morphed constantly over the years to the point that she’d opt out of happy hour at # (Since its opening, Haseul still doesn’t know if the nightclub’s name is pronounced “hashtag,” “hash,” or “pound”) for Vivi’s quarterly disaster preparedness drills. Yeojin likes putting on Haseul’s old hockey mask and eagerly volunteers to play the role of ‘home invader.” It's no question where their child got her theatrical side from. 

(Haseul loves those drills. They always end with Yeojin causing hundreds of dollars worth in property damage, half of which she suspiciously manages to pay back the next day. Raising Yeojin is fun because Yeojin is fun _personified_. Haseul and Vivi have their hands full with her, and they wouldn’t have it any other way).  
  
“I think we both need to let it go, Yeojin. The Sapphic Singles Squad had their time and we should have left it at that. Besides, as soon as your mom and aunts came into the picture, we never stood a chance. Go get some sleep. You had a long day.” 

Yeojin sulks and walks back to her room. She gets halfway down the hallway when she asks, “What made you warm up to the idea of settling down?” 

Now, this, Haseul can answer. This is the easiest question Yeojin has asked her since, “Is Aunt Sol _really_ blonde?” 

“There were a lot of moments with your mom that made me rethink everything. But if I had to choose, I’d say it was the time I tried out one of Aunt Sol’s pick-up lines. Your mom _teased me so hard_ \- I mean she _roasted_ me,” Haseul closes her eyes, imagining the disgusted look on Vivi’s face when Haseul asked her to feel her new shirt made of the finest fabric: “girlfriend material.” 

“Even though I humiliated myself in front of the girl I’d been pining for since I first laid eyes on her bright pink hair, I didn’t consider it a failure. Because after she made fun of me, your mom _laughed_ \- and not one of those pity laughs you do when your teacher thinks they’re funny and you don’t want them to assign more homework. She laughed with her whole face and her whole body. You would’ve thought I was some comedienne. She laughed… and I realized I wanted to hear that sound - I wanted to _be_ the one to make her make that sound - all the time, everyday, forever. All I wanted from that point on was more time with her. I wanted a future. And if it was possible to go back in time and have us meet earlier, I would do it in a heartbeat. The things I would do to have known Vivi all 49 years of my life so far. But time only moves forward.” 

Yeojin’s reasons for smiling at Haseul’s speech are twofold: Haseul loves her mom very much and more importantly, Haseul’s so wrong. Yes, the laws of space and time dictate that time moves in one direction. But laws are made to be broken. Single and childless 20-somethings sign a pact only to renege at the mere sight of Vivi Wong, Jungeun Kim, and Jiwoo Kim.  
  
When Vivi ungrounds Yeojin and she finally gets her phone back, she lets her friends know their next course of action. 

> **Yeojin:** Don't pack it up just yet, clowns 🤡  
>   
>  **Batgirl** 🦇🍒 **:** It’s over, Yeo. My mom said Triple S is as dead as my other mom’s roots 💀
> 
> **GAYmer Gurl** 🎮🐺 **:** Damn, she didn’t have to do Aunt Sol like that. F in the chat   
>   
> **Batgirl** 🦇🍒: F   
>   
> **Yeojin:** F 
> 
> **Yeojin:** Well, that still doesn’t change things. Triple S are gonna win our moms back.  
>   
>  **Yeojin sent an attachment.**  
>   
>  _“I better be around you” @ PPA High School’s Prom Night 2024 💃🏼🕺_
> 
> _TICKETS ON SALE NOW_ 🎟
> 
> **Yeojin:** I have a plan 😏

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Triple S are going to prom! Viseul's love story is gonna be the cutest, y'all. Updates every 2 weeks now since I'm back to school. But I already have the 2 remaining chapters outlined and trust that there’s a lot more fun to be had! The ships are getting closer to meeting! Thanks for reading. Stay safe, drink water, you matter. 
> 
> P.S. What if I told you that the Lipsoul breakup of March ‘97 was because [REDACTED] said [REDACTED] but [REDACTED] couldn't [REDACTED]? Find out in part 2…


	7. WTF Happened to You, Rudolph?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April-May 2024: Sooyoung, Jinsol, and Haseul are NOT having a mid-life crisis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously on The Rise of Triple S: Jinsol accidentally called her wife old, Sooyoung accidentally bragged about her numerous exes in front of her wife, and Haseul accidentally revealed she didn't want kids (initially) in front of... the kids.

**April 20, 2024**

In the course of their relationship, Jiwoo has seen Sooyoung cry a total of three times. 

One. 

_“Thank you for coming back to me.”_

Two.

_“I, Jiwoo, take you Sooyoung, to be my lawfully wedded wife…”_

Three. 

_“It’s a girl.”_

Each time, Sooyoung kept herself composed because, like everything else she does, Sooyoung cries gracefully. 

When Jiwoo wakes up on April 20, 2024, the morning after the failed Sapphic Singles Squad comeback, she witnesses her wife cry for the fourth time - only this time she’s stumbling over her words, hiccuping, and bawling uncontrollably. 

“What’s wrong?!” Jiwoo rushes to the uncomfortable sofa that she made her wife sleep on after the mess that was last night. 

“Hyejoo got into college!” 

“Yes, she did! We know this already. Why are you so sad?” 

Sooyoung pulls out a booklet wedged in between the couch cushions and accidentally throws it at Jiwoo’s face, grazing her immaculately combed bangs. “Oop, sorry!” 

Jiwoo purses her lips and reads the title: “So Your Kid’s Moving Out of the House: What Now, You Old Hag?” 

“This is what’s upsetting you?” 

A hysterical Sooyoung feebly nods as she reaches for another Kleenex. When her hand meets the cardboard of the tissue box, she runs to the bathroom to obtain a roll of toilet paper. 

“Wh-what if she for-forgets about us? Is she really gonna call every Friday night like she prom-promised?” Sooyoung blows her nose like a trumpet, “No more family game night! How will we do it? Through Zoom? I hate Zoom! They’ll catch us cheating on camera and then they’ll revoke all our cer-certificates and trophies!” 

Sooyoung lays her head on her wife's lap and her tall figure curls up into a ball. Jiwoo gently shushes her and plays with her hair. 

“Hyejoo won’t forget. I’ll remind her every hour if I have to. I’ll call her professors. Don’t you worry. Now where did you get this book?” 

The cover art is of a young, violet-tailed hummingbird waving goodbye to its depressed-looking parents in their empty nest. It’s written by Dr. Hugh Jass, a child “psykologist” who apparently can’t spell “psychologist.” 

“Jinsol let me borrow it.” 

_Of course she did._

“Honey, you can’t let yourself get fooled like this. What kind of self-help book calls you a hag?” 

Sooyoung briefly stops crying to curse her best friend. 

“S-so will we get used to Hyejoo not popping in the ki-kitchen every ten minutes to raid the fridge?” 

The parents will miss their daughter’s everything-but-the-kitchen-sink sandwiches almost - but not nearly - as much as Hyejoo herself.

“We’ll manage. We always do.” 

Then, in a voice eerily resembling Hyejoo’s when her Aunt Sol and Seul first told her about Slenderman, Sooyoung asks her spouse the same exact question: “Can I sleep in your bed tonight?” 

Jiwoo turns Sooyoung’s head so that her wife’s eyes are directly looking up at hers. “Of course. It’s _our_ bed.” 

“Really? After the shit Jinsol, Haseul, and I pulled last night?” 

On the range of punishable offenses, Sooyoung obnoxiously flaunting the number of women she seduced in her past is definitely near the “alternate sleeping arrangements for a three day minimum” category. However, to deny her wife of her rightful spot in their bed would be cruel and un-Jiwoo.  
  
“For richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, in comebacks and broken backs, till death do us part,” Jiwoo recites the 2024 version of their vows as she supports Sooyoung’s head and lifts it up. 

“Get your ass off the couch.” 

* * *

**April 23, 2024**

“Jiwoo says I’m having a mid-life crisis. You guys think she’s right?” 

“No! Are you kidding me?” Those three words trigger a defensive response in Jinsol. Her wife gave her a similar diagnosis under a different name: “adult angst.” 

“Vivi thinks so too! Seriously, where are they getting this from?” Haseul harshly steps on the brakes of her minivan and puts the vehicle into park. “Ok, we’re here!” 

The middle-aged mothers who are absolutely NOT undergoing a collective mid-life crisis exit the car and feast their eyes on rows upon rows of Harley Davidson, Kawasaki, Yamaha, and Suzuki motorcycles. 

“Bitchin!” exclaims Jinsol. 

“Badass!” cries Sooyoung. 

Haseul pulls out her phone and shuffles the playlist she tailored for this specific moment. 

_Get your motor runnin’  
_ _Head out on the highway  
_ _Lookin’ for adventure  
_ _And whatever comes our way_

Jinsol and Sooyoung identify the opening lines of Steppenwolf’s “Born to Be Wild” and begin belting the rest of the first verse and prechorus. They’re interrupted by an older, tattooed gentleman with a mohawk. 

“Welcome to JYP’s Bitchin Bikes! I’m JYP. How can I help you lovely ladies?” The store owner gives each of their hands a firm shake. 

“I’m looking for this beauty,” Haseul shows him a screenshot of the Street Rod, a bike that, according to the Harley Davidson website, offers “stepped-up street performance and power delivery.”  
  
JYP nods, snaps his fingers, and calls for one of his employees. “Great choice! She is indeed gorgeous. Steve will be helping you today but if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to come to me. Again, I’m JYP.” The man slides on his Raybans and walks away to attend to other, more well-informed customers. Jinsol and Sooyoung wander off to explore the rest of the shop. 

Steve is a lanky, freckled boy with a crooked smile. He looks not much older than Yeojin and far less intimidating. 

“Hi!” his voice cracks, “I’m Steve. How can I help you?” 

“Wait, Haseul! Come look at this one!” Jinsol points to the Roadster, a behemoth with a gigantic engine and an even larger price tag. It looks dangerous, difficult to maneuver, and insanely attractive. It has a fresh coat of orange paint - Yeojin’s favorite color. This purchase would certainly make Haseul the cooler mom. She has to have it. 

“Hi, Steve. I want that one.” 

“Which one, Ma’am? The Street Rod?” 

_Ma’am._ Since when did Haseul become a “Ma’am?” Was it when bartenders stopped asking for her ID and instantly assumed she was way above age? Or after she had to call the tallest stockboy to help Yeojin down from the top shelf of the cereal aisle? (How did her five-year-old get up there?) Maybe it was when her and Vivi’s firsts - their first date, first kiss, first “I love you” - entered in the thousands. Where has all that time gone? 

“No,” Haseul shakes her head, “The orange one that my friends are standing next to.”

Haseul sees Jinsol attempting to get on the bike and jogs to her friend. 

“Jinsol!” 

“Ma’am! Ma’am, please don’t get on that motorcycle!” 

Sooyoung stops Jinsol before she finishes slinging her left leg over the plush leather seat. 

“Hehe, sorry about them,” Haseul apologizes to Steve, “I couldn’t find anyone to _babysit,_ ” she glares in their direction. 

“She means you,” Sooyoung mumbles to Jinsol. 

The kind employee redirects the mothers’ attention to a motorcycle two aisles down: a significantly smaller Yamaha YZF-R3 in hot pink. “I think you’ll find that one much more appealing. It’s great for beginners.”

_Beginners? This little boy has some nerve._

“Kid, I’m no beginner. I used to ride back in the day. I’ll take this orange one. Can I pay with a check?” 

Haseul digs through her purse for her Keroppi themed checkbook and fills out “Pay to the order of: JYP’s Bitchin Bikes” despite not knowing what bike she’s purchasing nor if she’s truly capable of driving it. Oh, and her wife still thinks she’s “picking up the dry cleaning.” 

“Ma’am. This bike is not for sale. I can show you others. We have a wide selection.” 

Haseul scoffs and stares at her friends in a _“Can you believe this guy?”_ expression.

“By others, you mean the girly, frilly one.” 

Steve rubs his temples and takes several deep breaths. “No, I mean the _available_ ones.” 

“You have this out and on display! You have a very easy sale to make! I would like to buy it right now! Why are you denying me your service? Because I’m in my late 40s? Because I’m a woman? Because I’m a woman in my late 40s?” 

Haseul’s friends stand by her in good old-fashioned, feminist solidarity. Steve can only watch in shock as Haseul projects her personal issues with aging on him. On his second day on the job. 

“Your mother carried you in her womb for 9 months only for you to misunderstand, belittle, and underestimate women like this! I expected more from your generation. Shame on you.” 

Haseul taps his nametag, “Steve.” 

Jinsol and Sooyoung mentally cheer for their friend’s tiny but significant contribution to the representation of older women in the motorcycling world. 

“It’s not for sale,” Steve says through gritted teeth, “because it’s my bike.” 

Jinsol and Sooyoung’s silent cheers are silenced. 

Haseul tries to form an apology before Sooyoung whisks her away back in the direction of the parking lot. Jinsol smiles awkwardly and places her hand on the boy‘s shoulder. 

“You have a good day, son.” 

* * *

**April 24, 2024**

Jiwoo, Jungeun, and Vivi have a different method of coping with this stage of life. 

“Jab! Duck! Jab! Duck! Kick!” Jiwoo encourages Jungeun from behind the punching bag. “Get angry!” 

Jungeun steps back to tighten her red Everlast boxing gloves and channel her fury into her fists. 

She punches with her left and recalls the BMW that cut her off this morning.

She strikes with her right and thinks of Jinsol’s colleagues, those who doubted her wife’s unorthodox teaching style and called her “the ditzy blonde who belongs in a Halloween parade, not in front of a classroom.” 

She imagines the face of the dance mom who claimed Yerim was “pretty good for not being a naturally gifted dancer like my Taylor” and kicks the bag until it detaches from the ceiling. 

Vivi returns from her one-on-one sparring session with the gym owner. “Were you thinking of that bitch who said if our girls try hard enough they might have ‘some potential’?” 

“Yeah,” Jungeun pants. 

“Sick of her bullshit.” 

In a remarkable feat of strength, Vivi picks up the 60 pound bag like a feather and sends it flying across the (thankfully empty) gymnasium. Clearly Vivi’s issues stem beyond Helen Jones’s passive-aggressive behavior and coffee breath. 

“Uh oh,” sing-songs Jiwoo, “What did Haseul do now?” 

Vivi picks up two dumbbells, gets in a plank position, and does a set of one handed push ups with bicep curls. “Tried. To. Buy. A. Damn. Motorcycle.” 

“Which means she’s still sleeping on the couch…” Jungeun assumes. 

“Jinsol and Sooyoung aren’t?” asks a frustrated Vivi. She didn’t think Jiwoo and Jungeun would give in _that_ soon. 

“Sooyoung’s going through a lot right now,” her wife excuses. 

Vivi waits for an explanation. 

“The studio isn’t doing too well and it finally sunk in that Hyejoo’s moving out soon. I think the Squad’s comeback was one of the few things she was looking forward to. Plus, she read that fake ‘empty nest’ book Jinsol gave her and there was a Disney marathon the night she slept on the couch. I told her not to watch Toy Story 3 anymore! It makes her emotional.” 

“And Jinsol?” Vivi sighs. 

“She accidentally presented the Squad’s PowerPoint to her Bio 403 class. Just like Sooyoung, she’s not ready to say goodbye to Yerim and Triple S. I felt bad,” Jungeun looks down, ashamed.

It’s hard to resist Jinsol when she spent ten minutes lecturing about her wife’s eyes in vivid detail. The class didn’t bother to stop her and at the end, requested for their professor to bring Jungeun to school one day to see if the picturesque goddess that Jinsol described as her wife, truly was her wife and not a figment of her wide imagination. Jinsol can’t wait to prove them wrong. A small part of Jungeun looks forward to it as well. 

Vivi returns the dumbbells to the rack and motions for her friends to accompany her on the bench. 

“Haseul has no excuse for her antics. We still have a year before Yeojin goes to college and as far as I know, everything’s going fine for her at work. She needs to take Sooyoung and Jinsol with her to find a different outlet. Some new hobby that doesn’t involve motorcycles and doing backflips in extreme skinny jeans.” 

“But not kickboxing right?” Jiwoo asks worriedly. “This is our thing!” 

“Are you kidding? Those three would burn this place to the ground,” says Jungeun. 

(Given Jinsol’s history with arson, Jungeun means this literally). 

“Yeah. I’m thinking something more… tame.” 

* * *

**May 2024**

Vivi’s first suggestion on the collaborative “Hobbies for Our Wives” Google Doc is a virtual book club for busy parents who don’t have time to meet up physically (or would much rather not). 

“Explain to me how this works again,” asks a skeptical Haseul. 

“Once you sign up, you’ll be added to the email list and Facebook group. Every Sunday at 8 A.M they will send you that week’s reading assignment and a Zoom link. You have a pre discussion on Facebook then you hop on the meeting on Thursday at 7 P.M.” 

“Why do they have to make it so complicated? This doesn’t sound like a hobby. It sounds like school,” Haseul whines. 

“Yes! Like school but fun. You don’t get graded and there’s no uniforms. You can show up wearing pajama pants if you want!” 

Vivi reads her wife’s blank look and realizes she’ll have to appeal to Haseul’s “rebel” side. 

“And you can pass notes to your friends!” 

Oh, Haseul’s intrigued now. 

“Well kind of… think of it as the modern-day, digital version of passing notes! You can send private messages in the chat box,” Vivi overestimates her wife’s Zoom proficiency. 

That Thursday, the trio halfheartedly joins the call. Jinsol has one eye on the screen and the other on a thick pile of lab reports that should have been graded yesterday. When the book club hostess calls on the professor to ask what she thought of the reading, Jinsol responds, “I love teaching about marine invertebrates! There’s more than just jellyfish out there!” 

And then Jinsol’s gaze flickers to the post-it reminding her to read chapters 1 and 2 of The Unpredictable Abyss of Our Love, an ironically predictable story with a thin plot and an unbearably pretentious title. Jinsol could hardly stomach the first chapter and quit after the protagonist was introduced to his new secretary aka his one-night-stand from page 3. 

“Whoops! Sorry! When I hear ‘reading’ my mind jumps to my class. Yeah I _love_ the story so far!” 

A stunning woman who shares Sooyoung’s name asks the Triple S Sooyoung for her thoughts. 

Off camera, Jiwoo yells at her wife who is starting to doze off. 

“Huh? What Jinsol said. Same.” While Jinsol put in minimal effort to read the book, Sooyoung didn’t even pick it up. She’s more likely to correctly name the 46 presidents of the United States than the name of the contemporary novel. The Squad’s only hope is Haseul.   
  
  


**Haseul Jo-Wong to Everyone:** @Sooyoung @Jinsol Is it just me or was that book mind-numbingly boring? And way too heterosexual. Or was it boring BECAUSE it was het? 

**Haseul Jo-Wong to Everyone:** @Soo @Sol What time does this thing end? Total snore fest. 10/10 would not recommend. Lol @Soo I see you falling asleep. 

**Haseul Jo-Wong to Everyone:** @Sol Why is everyone looking at me like that? 

**Haseul Jo-Wong to Everyone:** @Sol Oh shi 

**_You have been dropped from the call._ **

Vivi makes her first edit to the Doc.  
  
~~  
**Book Club  
  
** ~~ **Comments: Teach Haseul how to use Zoom.  
**

* * *

Jungeun proposes gardening. 

Jinsol plants an assortment of marigolds, zinnias, and sunflowers, promising her wife “the most beautiful bouquet for the most beautiful woman.” She posts daily updates of her garden under the hashtag: #SolGrowsFlowersForHerFlower. 

Unfortunately, the novice gardener’s nose flares a glowing, fire truck red each time she steps foot in their front yard. Jungeun watches her wife enter a sneezing frenzy from the kitchen window. 

“WTF happened to you, Rudolph?” Sooyoung comments under Jinsol’s latest selfie.   
  


~~**Gardening  
** ~~  
**Comments:** **Jinsol has allergies :(**

* * *

Bowling might be the Triple S wives’ best idea yet. The Wii version of the sport is a favorite of the Squad and Jiwoo hopes this will translate to real life bowling lanes. The problem is, they like it _too_ much. 

“Yeah! Fuck it up, Haseul!” Sooyoung encourages her friend as she knocks down all ten pins in expert fashion. 

Haseul curtsies and Jinsol pretends to place a crown atop her head. “You’re still the queen! We’re gonna obliterate the competition!” 

After only a week, the trio registered as a new bowling league under the name “Triple S.” This time it stands for “Strikes, Spares, and Sol.” Haseul’s in charge of the strikes, Sooyoung gets a lot of spares, and Jinsol… tries. 

“Ok, you’re up!” Haseul massages Jinsol’s shoulders, momentarily easing the tension that’s built up from finals season at the university and a potential promotion. 

Jinsol secures her grip on her personalized “moon” bowling ball (with the holes designed to resemble craters), swings her right arm backwards, and yells “This is for my family!” 

The ball swiftly hits the gutter. 

“I pity your family. That sucked.” 

Jinsol whips her head around and there stands Carol “Not-Karen” Smith, the bitchy mom who Jungeun, Jiwoo, and Vivi fought at their daughters’ dance show last month. 

“Hey! You don’t get to say my friend sucks! Only I get to do that!” Sooyoung stares the mother down, fantasizing about defeating her at tomorrow’s qualifying rounds for the Women Over 40 Tournament.

The rest of Not-Karen’s posse invades Triple S’s personal space. 

“What’s going on here, Carol?” asks Helen “Coffee Breath” Jones. 

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing,” Carol smirks and pushes past Jinsol to knock down nine of her pins. “That’s how it’s done.” 

“Uh look again, _bitch._ You left one,” Sooyoung holds up her middle finger and Haseul prays this won’t escalate any further. Jinsol just wants to go home. 

“Now you’re just begging for a fight.” 

“What are you gonna do about it, _Karen_? Call the manager on us?” 

Jinsol high-fives Sooyoung for her sick burn. 

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I will.”   
  
  
~~**Bowling** ~~

**Comments:** **Our wives have been banned from Whole Foods, the post office, the roller rink, Astro Trampoline Park, and now the bowling alley. Why did we marry them again?** **  
**

* * *

As entertaining as it is to watch her mother and aunts fail miserably at every hobby they attempt, Yeojin knows it’s unfair to stand idly by when she holds the plan that will send Triple S on a road to redemption. 

“I’m supposed to be at the New Days Bowling Alley right now, kicking Karen’s butt to the curb. We were gonna get our Triple S uniforms today! But Sooyoung just _had_ to flip her off.” Haseul recklessly throws used pots and pans in the sink, clattering noises echoing in her wife’s state-of-the-art kitchen. “I’ll never be able to make it up to Vivi. I’ll be stuck on that couch forever,” the mother stares at her sad reflection in the dish water. 

“What’s the name for the fancy flower people wear on their suits? Booty near?” Yeojin asks, only half-involved in their conversation. 

“Boutonniere,” Haseul says in her best French accent, “Why?” 

“You’re gonna wear one to prom this Saturday.” 

Haseul bounces up and down, splashing soap and suds all over the counter. “Parents can go to that?! Why didn’t you tell me earlier!” 

Yeojin violently shakes her head. “No, not Hyejoo and Yerim’s prom. Theirs is next week and I’m pretty sure they’d die of embarrassment if any of you attended. You’re taking mom to a mature, sapphicsticated prom at Yerim’s backyard.” 

“It’s sophisticated.”

“That’s what I said.” 

Yeojin hands her sketchbook over to her mother and Haseul admires the drawing of three sharply-dressed couples dancing under a white gazebo adorned with twinkle lights. In the background, Haseul can make out three smaller girls: one with purple hair, one with black hair, and one with brown hair. 

“You told me you want to turn back the clock with mom. Yerim, Hyejoo and I are gonna help.” 

Haseul smiles and ruffles her daughter’s hair. _This one’s a schemer just like me._ “What’s our first step?” 

“Hey Siri,” Yeojin puts her phone on speaker, “Call Aunt Sooyoung.” 

She picks up after three rings. “Yeojin?” Sooyoung asks, confused. 

“Hello, is this the Office of the President? This is Princess Duchess Lady Yeojin speaking.” 

“Yeojin, I don’t have time for your prank calls. I’m at work.” 

“Sooyoung, just listen!” Haseul interjects, “Yeojin has a plan to save Triple S!” 

There’s several seconds of silence and the mother-daughter pair believe their president has hung up on them. 

“Ok, I’m adding Vice President Jinsol to the call. What’s this plan?” 

* * *

**May 11, 2024 - A regular date night turned Triple S Prom Night**

No matter how much Haseul screws up, Vivi can always count on her wife’s immeasurable love in the forms of stolen kisses, corny jokes, and adventurous Saturday date nights. So when Haseul tells her that the place they’re going to is “fancy af,” Vivi selects her finest black dress and sets her expectations high. 

Nothing could prepare her for the sight of her partner in a Giorgio Armani suit leaning against a super stretch limousine and holding a poster that asks “Prom? With me? Yes or Yes?” 

_What a dork._

“Your wrist, milady.” Haseul delicately slips a fresh corsage on her beloved’s wrist and takes her hand. 

“Prom, Haseul? We didn’t know each other in high school. I wasn’t even in the same country as you.” 

“Exactly,” says her wife as she opens the door to their limo, “We never got to experience it together. That’s what tonight is for. Just you and me.” 

Inside are two champagne bottles on ice, a charcuterie board, and Jiwoo and Sooyoung throwing strawberries in each other’s mouths. 

“... And our friends.” 

Sooyoung’s wearing the same designer suit as Haseul and Jiwoo’s dressed in a peach off-the-shoulder gown. 

“We got Viseul in the limoooo!” the Triple S First Lady shouts. “Driver, roll up the partition please!” Jiwoo requests in the tone of Beyoncé’s 2013 hit. (She’s been waiting all night to say that). 

Sooyoung pours champagne in two flutes and hands them to Vivi and Haseul who take their seats directly across from the couple. “We’re going all out!” 

“Hell yeah!” Haseul pulls a selfie stick out of nowhere and forces everyone into position. “Say senior year!” 

Although the four women are closer to the ages of actual senior citizens than high school seniors, Vivi finds herself complying. If her wife says they’re 18 for tonight, then damn it, they’re 18. 

Sooyoung stretches and suavely wraps her right arm around her prom date. Haseul mirrors her best friend. 

“Are you excited for tonight, Vivi?” asks the Triple S founder. 

Vivi has no idea where they’re going and what other tricks her wife’s got tucked under her Armani sleeves but she’s thrilled regardless. 

“I am.” 

“I’m really glad you could join us! Haseul’s been trying to ask you out since like forever! She wrote ‘HS x VV’ all over her locker, you know.” 

Haseul lightly covers Vivi’s ears but whispers loud enough for her wife to hear. “Soo! You weren’t supposed to tell her that! I sound like such a loser! How is she gonna go on a second date with me now?” 

Sooyoung apologizes and does the motion of zipping her lips. 

“Sorry about that,” Haseul removes her hands from Vivi’s ears, “Sooyoung was just being a troll. You didn’t hear any of that, right?” 

Vivi plays along and shakes her head “no” causing Haseul to breathe a sigh of relief. 

_What a dork. God, she loves her.  
_

* * *

Across town, a very nervous Jinsol waits for her prom date at the bottom of their stairs. She and Jungeun may be married on all legal and spiritual standards, but that doesn’t stop her from pacing a hole in their hardwood floors. If this night is anything but unforgettable, Jinsol will voluntarily assign herself to the couch for the next month. Jungeun deserves the best. 

“Will it be cold at this restaurant, babe? Should I bring a jacket?” Jungeun yells from their master bedroom. 

“No! And if it does, you can borrow mine!” Jinsol takes out a lint roller and smooths out her suit jacket. Jinsol never splurges on expensive clothing, but this is an exception. 

“Ok. Coming down!” 

Jinsol reads the “On our way!” text from **Hag Soo(not)young 🦴💥🤮🍎💃🏼** before dropping her phone - not out of clumsiness, but pure awe and adoration for the woman at the top of the stairs. 

“Wow. You look incredible.” 

Jungeun scoffs. She had little time to get ready on such short notice; her brows are uneven, her hair is tied back in a loose ponytail, and she’s wearing her comfy, practical wedges over her favorite strappy heels. 

And yet there’s Jinsol, gaping at her like she’s painted the heavens.

(Jungeun could wear a potato sack and her wife would still find her attractive. After all, Jungeun was in an owl costume when she first met her then-assistant manager. Jinsol wasn’t looking too great either - she was covered in dog fur and claw marks. It may not have been the cutest of meet-cutes, but it was uniquely theirs). 

“Don’t flatter me, honey. I’m wearing the same old dress to every date night we’ve had for the past ten years. You’re wearing… is that Armani?” 

“Ten years of date nights?!” her wife asks in disbelief, as if it’s some distant, impossible dream instead of reality. 

“Sol, what is this?” Jungeun’s equally puzzled and entertained. 

Jinsol fiddles with the rose pinned to her suit and clears her throat. 

“I like you, Jungeun. I want to get to know you more outside of class. Would you maybe possibly, wanna, you know, go to dinner with me sometime? Let’s say, right now?” 

Jinsol waits with bated breath, hoping her wife will indulge in the role-playing. 

“I like you too! As a friend…” 

Jinsol winces and clutches her chest in devastation. “My crush just friendzoned me. Oh, how you wound me, Jungeun Kim! Maybe if you kissed it away,” Jinsol sticks her lips out, “I would forget the pain you’ve caused!” 

And so she does kiss her. Softly, slowly, apologetically. The type of kiss that would make one propose on the spot and judging from the starstruck look on Jinsol’s face, she’s thinking of adding that to tonight’s agenda. 

“You’re pretty good at that. Maybe I should give you another chance,” Jungeun says when they separate. 

Her silly wife grins and pulls her into the fine-dining, triple Michelin star awarded restaurant: their dining room. 

“I’ve heard good things about this place.” Jinsol pulls out the chair for her wife and crinkles her nose at the huge sunflower centerpiece on the table (She told Yerim to pick something smaller and less flashy. She can’t have an allergy attack in front of her date! Especially when things are going so well!) 

“Really? What do they serve here?” Jungeun asks, now fully involved in the charade. 

Jinsol looks around for their daughter who should be waltzing in any minute now. “I don’t know. Let’s ask OUR LOVELY WAITRESS for the special.” 

Yerim acknowledges her cue and the mothers hear some shuffling before she enters the room. 

“Hello!” their child waves, “Welcome to Luna Grill. My name is Yerim. Can I get you started with some drinks?” 

Yerim takes her role seriously. She’s dressed in black pants and a black polo and her wavy purple hair is now in a tight bun with two pens sticking out in an “X” fashion. She removes one pen and begins scribbling nonsense on her notepad. Jungeun sees the spitting image of her wacky scientist wife in their daughter. 

“Hi, Yerim. I’m Jinsol, this is my date, Jungeun.” 

Jinsol and Yerim both stifle giggles, nearly breaking character. 

“And water’s fine for me. What about you, honey- oh I mean, Jungeun.” 

“Iced tea.” 

“Coming right up!” Yerim walks two steps then runs out to the kitchen. 

The house’s open floor plan allows for the couple to watch their waitress diligently measure exactly 235 milliliters of water and iced tea into their respective glasses, ensuring that neither mother gets special treatment. 

“She seems like a sweetheart,” Jinsol whispers, “We should give her a generous tip.” 

Jungeun glances at the mason jar covered in cherry and rainbow stickers. 

Jinsol removes a $10, then a $20, then she decides it’s best to just toss her entire wallet inside. 

This will benefit their waitress when she goes off to university (Not that an ordinary customer such as Jinsol would know that about Yerim). 

Their server returns with their beverages and drops bendy straws in them, effectively ruining the reputation of the fancy establishment. 

“Tonight’s special is a spin on the classic mac n cheese. The chef has prepared for you Macaroni a la Choerry. It’s delicious!” 

“That sounds great, Yerim!” Jungeun praises, “We’ll take it.” 

Yerim sways from her heels to her toes as she jots down the order. “Alrighty! Now one last thing… May I know what you are celebrating this evening?” 

Jinsol reaches for her wife’s hand across the table. “It’s our prom night.” 

* * *

The limo drops the other two couples off at Jungeun and Jinsol’s residence which comes as no surprise to Jiwoo and Vivi. There’s no way their wives would organize a prom without their Vice President, even if she’s their favorite person to pick on. The real shock comes from Yeojin and Hyejoo jumping out of the front passenger doors, thanking the driver, who suspiciously resembles Yoo Jeongyeon, for the smooth ride. 

“What are you girls doing?” asks Jiwoo.

“Did you two drag them into this?” Vivi asks Haseul and Sooyoung. 

“Actually, it was the other way around! It was my idea. But Yerim and Hyejoo helped too, I guess,” Yeojin corrects. 

The kids lead their parents around the outside of the Jung-Kim house and unlock the small gate to their backyard. Yerim has changed out of her waitress uniform and into a purple party dress. She’s placing the finishing touches on the “PROM NIGHT 2024/TRIPLE S 30 YEAR ANNIVERSARY” banner and speaking into a walkie talkie. “Bat to blue betta. Do you copy? Over.” 

There’s a little static before Jinsol responds, “This is blue betta.” 

Yerim makes eye contact with their guests. “All parties are present. Commence with the surprise. Bring out the owl. Over and out.” 

“Copy that, bat. This is blue betta signing off.” 

Yerim steps down from her stool and greets everyone. “Hi, Aunties! Welcome to prom! Make yourselves comfortable.” 

Hyejoo sets the mood with her “Moms’ Prom” playlist while the couples explore the familiar yet unfamiliar area. 

With the help of Pinterest, various home and garden magazines, homeschooling blogs, and her hyper mother, Yerim transformed their humble backyard into a respectable outdoor ballroom. 

Their patio table is now covered in a gold satin tablecloth and an ice sculpture of two lovebirds lies atop it. A makeshift photo booth complete with wigs, hats, oversized glasses, and other props takes the place of their storage shed. 

And at the center of it all is Jungeun’s formerly incomplete project: the Victorian-style gazebo that her architect mind has envisioned building since forever ago. 

> **2001**
> 
> _Jungeun crosses off a listing for an affordable two-bedroom condo._
> 
> _“What’s wrong with that one?”_
> 
> _“I want a house with a nice backyard. I want to entertain and host parties.”_
> 
> _“What parties, Jungeun? We’d invite the same four people,” Jinsol jokes._
> 
> **2003**
> 
> _Jinsol removes the “For Sale” sign at the front of their newly purchased house and replaces it with a “Sold.” She thanks the realtor and Jungeun comes running from the backyard, practically leaping into Jinsol’s arms._
> 
> _“I figured out what I want to do with the backyard! I’m gonna build us a gazebo!”_
> 
> _“Does that mean I’ll get to see you in your cute little hard hat?”_
> 
> _“Only if you’ll help me.”_
> 
> **2005**
> 
> _“Hey, honey, I think we’re making good progress on our project. Looks like we’ll be able to finish soon-“_
> 
> _“I’m pregnant.”_
> 
> _“Oh.”_
> 
> **2006**
> 
> _Jungeun holds baby Yerim while pointing at Jinsol._
> 
> _“Look at your mommy being silly. She’s covering our construction zone in yellow caution tape. You’re not even old enough to hold your head up, let alone walk over there."_
> 
> **2020**
> 
> _Jungeun glares at their half-assembled eyesore of a gazebo. “That thing pisses me off. Look at it mocking me. It’s my biggest unfinished project.”_
> 
> _“I’d argue that I’m your biggest unfinished project. All I do is let us down.”_
> 
> _Jungeun forces Jinsol to pick her gaze up from the floor to her eyes._
> 
> _“No,” she states sternly, cupping her wife’s face in her hands, “You could never let us down. You hear me?”_
> 
> _Jinsol nuzzles into Jungeun’s soft touch. “I thought I had it. I aced that interview. But I guess they just don’t like me. They don’t believe in me.”_
> 
> _“Don’t listen to those old farts. I believe in you.”_
> 
> _“You’re my wife,” Jinsol grumbles, “You’re obligated to say that.”_
> 
> _“And you’re mine. So you have to listen to me.”  
>    
>    
>  _

Jinsol guides Jungeun past the sliding door that leads to the yard and instructs her to open her eyes. 

“Sol, you didn’t,” Jungeun breaths. 

“I did. It’s done. Dance with me.” 

The opening of Ed Sheeran’s “Perfect” begins to play as Jinsol and Jungeun join their friends who are already dancing inside the gazebo. 

Jinsol wraps her wife in so much love and light that Jungeun, despite being the better dancer of the two, loses her footing. 

“I got the promotion,” Jinsol announces, throwing Jungeun even more off balance. 

“What?”

Jinsol bites her lip to keep from screaming the good news to the entire neighborhood. (They’ve received a whopping 21 noise complaints since they moved in). 

“I re-interviewed on a whim, my students put in a good word for me, and I _got it_ , Jungeun. Starting next school year, I’ll be the associate director of the marine biology program. I’ll have a bigger office to conduct my research, I’ll be able to hire more graduate assistants, and I’ll be making nearly double what I made as a professor while still getting to teach.” 

When Jinsol realizes that Jungeun’s having a hard time formulating a response to convey just how proud she is, Jinsol continues. 

“So I blew my paycheck on these matching Triple S suits, that dress Yerim’s wearing, and I hired a few construction guys to help me with the gazebo. I know we were supposed to work on it together but I wanted it to be a surprise."   
  
_Well, I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know_  
_She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share her home_

“It was never about building the gazebo…” Jungeun starts, voice shaky and small. “It was about-“ 

_Building a family with you. Building a life with you. And damn, do we have a good one._

Jinsol wipes her wife's tear as soon as it falls. “Shhh,” she consoles, “I know. _I know._ Don’t cry. No crying at prom."   
  
  
  


  
“What are those sappy lesbians crying about?” Sooyoung asks Jiwoo who laughs at her date’s nosiness.  
  
Jiwoo wraps her arms around Sooyoung's neck and looks into her eyes with infinite tenderness. "Thank you for tonight. I'm having the best time with you."   
  
_I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets_  
_To carry love, to carry children of our own  
  
_Sooyoung sneaks a peek at their prom's DJ. Hyejoo shoots her a thumbs up as if to say "Good job, Mom." The Triple S president takes a moment to reflect on just how lucky she is to have held the most precious girl in her arms and to be holding the woman who brought said girl into this world.   
  
“Jiwoo, I think I'm falling in love with you.” 

Jiwoo flicks Sooyoung’s hand off her hip and looks away. “I’m sorry, Sooyoung. I’m married.” 

“WHAT?! TO WHO?"   
  
"Yves."   
  
"WHO THE FUCK IS YVES?!" 

  
  


“What are those loud lesbians screaming about?” Haseul asks Vivi as they sway to the melody. 

“I think they love each other." 

“Oh. Well good for them,” Haseul pulls Vivi in closer. 

“Leave space for Jesus!” their daughter yells. 

Vivi turns around and tells Yeojin to close her eyes.

“Ugh. Our chaperone’s a real buzzkill,” Haseul says under her breath.  
  
_Now I know I have met an angel in person_  
_And she looks perfect_  
_No, I don't deserve this_  
_You look perfect tonight_

Her wife makes a move and kisses her quickly, taking Haseul aback. It’s over far too soon. 

“Soooo…” Vivi draws out, “About that second date…” 

  
  
  
  
“Perfect” ends and transitions to the next song: John Legend’s “All of Me.” 

“Good job with the playlist, Hyejoo!” Yeojin compliments as she takes pictures of the venue from both her mothers’ phones. 

“Thanks. Easiest playlist I’ve ever made. All parents love Ed Sheeran, John Legend, and Michael Buble. They make up the musical trio of ‘Love Songs for Wine Moms’ genre.” 

Yerim watches her Aunt Vivi throw her head back in laughter from whatever Aunt Haseul whispered in her ear, her Aunt Sooyoung and Aunt Jiwoo stepping on each other because they both want to lead, and her shorter mother lift her taller mother and spin her around, just like they do in fairy tales. 

“Yeah. They do love them.”

Hyejoo and Yeojin nod. It goes without saying that Yerim is referring to a different trio. 

* * *

Triple S makes it through two more songs before they return to old habits. Hyejoo’s music is drowned out by her mother’s Triple S comeback/Workout/On Repeat playlist. 

“Jiwoo, Jungeun, Vivi,” Sooyoung proclaims, “I know we aren’t perfect wives, we mess up _a lot._ But we love you. And we just wanna say…” 

**SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY**

“Super Junior?!” Yeojin throws her clipboard with tonight’s agenda on the ground. “This wasn’t part of the schedule! This is prom! There are no choreographed performances! How did they have time to learn this? Don’t they have jobs to go to and children to raise?” 

“So that’s why they wore the suits…” Yerim deduces. 

Triple S get in formation with Haseul at the center adjusting her tie, Jinsol to her left, and Sooyoung to her right, holding a sword. 

“The bigger question is why does my mom have a fucking sword?” 

“Sooyoung! What are you doing with that? Put that down before you hurt yourself!” Jiwoo seizes her wife’s katana. 

“I’m cutting my hair for the aesthetic," Sooyoung explains like it's incredibly obvious. 

“Then go to the salon, you wannabe Mulan! Get a haircut the normal way! Be an adult!" 

Haseul pauses the music and stands between the bickering spouses. “So are we gonna continue or what?” 

“We don’t need to see the dance break,” Yeojin says impatiently, “We demand the last part of the triple S origin story!” 

Haseul seeks approval from her wife and receives a nod. Vivi agreed to let Haseul sleep in their bed again so long as she watches her words and doesn’t overshare in front of the children. It’s a challenge the talkative, no-filter Haseul is willing to accept.  
  
Jinsol uncovers a projector that she stole from her university (already putting her new promotion in jeopardy) and positions it so an image of 18-year-old Haseul can be seen on their fence. 

“Kids,” the third member of the Squad begins, “You’ve heard about Sooyoung’s ex girlfriends and Jinsol’s many _many_ ex pets-” 

Jinsol looks up to the night sky and says a silent prayer for all the blue bettas she’s lost due to neglect and freak accidents. 

“But now it’s time to hear my side of things and I assure you, we’ve saved the best for last.” 

Yeojin rubs her eyes, blinks hard, then opens them again and again. This has to be an optical illusion. 

Is that really her mother, Haseul Jo, in a Harley Davidson riding jacket surrounded by bearded men on motorcycles?  
  
“The biggest question,” Yeojin says to Hyejoo, “Was _my_ mom in a _biker gang_?” 

Haseul overhears this and smiles coyly. “Next slide, Vice President Jinsol. Ah, there we go. It was July 1994…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re nearing the end of part 1! Chapter 8 will have Haseul's chaotic backstory and the very first interaction between two characters. Chuuves, Viseul, or Lipsoul? You have a 33% chance of getting it right ;) Chapter 9 will be a bonus chap with deleted scenes from the first 8. And believe me, there are a TON. I can only cram so many shenanigans in one chap. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Stay safe, drink water, you matter. I appreciate every single one of you for sticking with this story and being you. 
> 
> cc: curiouscat.qa/galaxylippie  
> twt: @galaxylippie (tbh I'm kinda inactive there so if you ever want to talk, cc is probably the way to go :)


	8. Men Need Not Apply

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> July 1994-February 1995: Haseul becomes the third member of the Sapphic Singles Squad.
> 
> May 2024: Hyejoo and Yerim start searching for their third roommate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Settle in and make yourself comfortable because this is another long chapter. Flashbacks! Friendships! First meetings! And hope. Plenty of hope. 
> 
> I dedicate this one to all you hopeless romantics. ALSO LOONA IS COMING BACK.

**July 18, 1994** **\- The Streets of Blockberry**  
  
It is impossible to reduce Haseul Jo’s personality to a single adjective. But if you were to round up every person that the young woman ever interacted with and forced them to pick one word, they’d come to the same conclusion: Haseul Jo is friendly. 

After just one year at BBCU, Haseul met an average of ten people per day, developed solid bonds with at least half of them, and became so intertwined in others’ personal issues that she inadvertently helped her English TA fix his marriage, her roommate Wendy find her purpose in life, and her future best friends come together to form the Sapphic Singles Squad. 

But her most unlikely pal is none other than “Bulldog,” the 350 pound, 6’7” leader of “The Egoists,” a biker gang that frequents the quaint college town of Blockberry. While most residents cower in terror at the sight of the giant and turn back in the opposite direction when they encounter him on the streets, Haseul purposefully attempts to run into him. 

“Mornin’, Jojo! Where are you off to?” Bulldog greets in his gruff, three-cigarette-pack-per day voice. 

“Hey, Bulldog! I’m apartment searching for next school year.” 

She holds up a flyer that reads: 

**GIRL ROOMMATE WANTED**

**REQUIREMENTS: MUST NOT BE HOTTER THAN US**

“You’re not living with that Wendy girl, no more?” 

Haseul chuckles. Her male friend forgets to shower yet he remembers the name of her roommate who she’s mentioned once, twice at most. 

“No. She’s dropping out to pursue a career in music. I’ve got a good feeling she’s gonna make it big.” 

(Haseul’s hunch was right. Wendy not only went on to win three Grammys, she later became the CEO of SM Entertainment). 

“No doubt you were the one to convince her to follow her dreams. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be in vet school right now.” Bulldog says this as he crouches down to pet his Chihuahua. The visual is ironic on many levels. A big man with a nickname like “Bulldog” should not own such a tiny, precocious puppy. And he certainly shouldn’t name it “Killer.” 

“You just needed a push in the right direction. You got that acceptance letter all on your own. I’m proud of ya, buddy!” Haseul gives her friend a firm pat on the back, her dainty hand barely taking up space on the man’s broad shoulders.

Haseul’s sincerity reduces Bulldog to a whimpering mess as he engulfs her in the tightest, oxygen-depriving hug, thanking her for supporting him unconditionally and seeing past his rough exterior. During their embrace, Haseul watches the gang leader’s puppy break free from his leash and head toward oncoming traffic. 

Like a scene out of a superhero movie, Haseul dives into the busy road to scoop up the innocent pet - buses and pickup trucks be damned. Some may argue that it’s stupid, idiotic, and borderline brainless to risk one’s life for a dog named “Killer” but Haseul thinks with her heart before her brain. To her, this is the right, noble thing to do. 

“GET OFF THE ROAD, LADY!” 

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!” 

Haseul scurries back to the sidewalk, cradling Killer in her arms, frightened but unscathed. 

“Oh my, brave good boy! I almost lost you!” Bulldog takes his dog back, allowing him to lick and slobber all over his bearded face. “Thank you, Haseul,” he says for the nth time that day, “I’ll never be able to repay you for everything.” 

“I know you would’ve done the same for me. Besides, vet school is expensive. You can repay me when you’ve opened up your own practice,” Haseul teases. 

“I’m serious, Jojo. If you ever need a favor, any kind of favor, don’t hesitate to call me.” Bulldog waits for the police car to drive past before whispering, “I know a guy who can make people disappear.” 

Haseul’s eyes widen and for the first time, she distances herself from the gang leader.  
  
“He’s a magician. Your birthday’s coming up! I can get you a discount.”  
  
The knot in Haseul’s throat disappears and she smiles at Bulldog’s utter harmlessness. “Awww you remembered! But I think I’ll pass. Maybe next year!” 

Bulldog frowns and he nearly rips his beard out trying to think of alternate favors.  
  
“I invested in that tech company, Apple. I’m not sure if it’ll go anywhere but I bought a ton of shares for dirt cheap. You can have them if you’d like!” 

Haseul declines. She’s not well-versed in business and finance stuff. What do they sell again? Computers? Nah. There’s no money there.  
  
(When Yeojin was born in 2007, so was the original iPhone. Haseul spent nine months agonizing over the multi-million fortune that she could have given her child). 

“Hey, you’re still single, right?” 

_Ow._

“Mhm,” Haseul responds with a forced smile. 

“What if I set you up with someone? My nephew’s an awesome kid. Oh sorry. I almost forgot.” Bulldog recalls Haseul would much rather meet one of his nieces instead. “It must suck to have to keep reminding people that you’re um…” 

Bulldog’s a socially progressive guy for the most part but he’s still set in his ways. Haseul stops him before he says something politically incorrect. 

“Yeah, it’s kind of a hassle to repeatedly come out to everyone and explain everything but oh well,” Haseul shrugs, “I’ll get used to it.” 

Bulldog scratches an itch on his right forearm and eyes his “Egoist” tattoo. An idea pops in his head. 

“What if you didn’t have to explain yourself?” 

* * *

**August 18, 1994 - Sooyoung and Jinsol's Apartment  
** **  
**Haseul knocks to the beat of “We Will Rock You” on the front door of her future apartment. Since she only spoke to her potential roommates over the phone, she isn’t sure who to expect. Both voices did sound familiar, though. Especially the first one.

Sooyoung answers the door. “Hi! Are you Haseul? I remember you! Glad to finally put a name to the face.” 

Haseul recognizes the BBCU dance prodigy immediately. 

“Yeah! And you’re Sooyoung. Or is it Yves now?” 

“Sooyoung. I only use Yves when I hit on girl-“ 

“AHHHHHH!” Haseul’s second roommate screeches. “ _You’re_ Haseul?!” Jinsol runs up to the door and tugs at Sooyoung’s shirt. “This is the girl from the laundry room! The one I had a heart-to-heart with. I ranted to her about our roommate struggles before you and I became friends!” 

Jinsol grabs Haseul’s wrist and pulls her inside. “Come in! Come in! This is your place now, too!” 

It’s hardly a place. The sophomore apartments are even more cramped than the freshman dorms. Haseul isn’t sure if she’s standing in the kitchen, living room, dining room, or entrance to the bathroom. The three bedrooms are the size of coat closets. Haseul thinks rats live more comfortably than this. 

“I know it’s not much, but it’s home. And it’s all we can afford. But now with the three of us splitting the rent, we can save up to buy a bigger fish tank!” 

“You’re the only one who wants a bigger fish tank, Blondie,” Sooyoung deadpans.  
  
The more responsible roommate invites Haseul to sit at their wobbly dining table. “Listen Haseul,” Sooyoung lays down the law, “We like you already but we wanna ask you a few questions before you sign the lease. So we can learn a little more about you.” 

Jinsol and Sooyoung each pull out notepads and flip through pages and pages of questions. Haseul fidgets with the tablecloth. Her interviewing skills are subpar at best. 

“Don’t freak out! We wrote these before we knew we knew you. I’m sure you’ll do great!” Jinsol reassures. “Sooyoung, you can start.” 

“Ok. Will you be able to pay your share of the rent every 15th of the month?” 

“Well, here’s the thing-”  
  
Sooyoung’s expression turns sour and she uncaps a red pen.  
  
“I don’t have a job _yet._ But I’m sure I’ll find one. I have an impressive resume!” 

Sooyoung recaps the pen. “Did you bring a copy of it?”  
  
“No, but-”  
  
Sooyoung uncaps the pen and writes “unreliable” under the first question. Jinsol notices this and rips off the first page. 

“Soo,” she chastises, “You’re giving her a hard time. We can discuss the logistics later. I’ll take over for now.” 

In an act of sympathy for the poor girl sweating buckets across the table, Jinsol brings Haseul a glass of fresh-squeezed lemonade. “Sorry about my roomie. She can be a grump sometimes. Why don’t you tell us about your hobbies? You seem like you’d bring a lot of fun to our apartment!” 

Haseul relaxes and leans back in her chair.  
  
Fun. That’s easy. She can totally be the fun roommate.

“I’m the treasurer of our school’s Parkour Club,” Haseul boasts as she takes a sip and winces. This is the worst case of false-advertising she has ever encountered. This lemonade lacks two key ingredients: sugar and water. It’s practically lemon juice. 

(This month, Jinsol decided to prioritize buying fish food over human essentials). 

“What’s parkour?” Sooyoung asks.  
  
Haseul stands up and runs to the front door. “Why tell you… when I can show you?” 

The parkour enthusiast does two cartwheels down the narrow hallway, attempts to bounce off the kitchen wall, somersaults off the carpet, and leaps over the couch, knocking their lamp off the end table. 

“Tada!” she cheers with jazz hands, “That’s parkour! I’ll pay for that lamp.” 

“With what job?” Sooyoung retorts under her breath. 

“I think your hobby is really cool, Haseul! But we would prefer it if you practiced it outdoors. It’s just not safe in this constricted space, especially when we have a pet.” Jinsol taps on the glass of Moon X’s fishbowl, checking for signs of life from the blue betta. If it’s possible for fish to scowl, that’s exactly what Moon X is doing now. Jinsol always disturbs her fishes' sleep schedules.  
  
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you had a pet! I would never endanger an innocent animal! Where is it?” Haseul scans the area for balls of yarn, squeaky toys, chewed-up shoes, and other tell-tale signs that a dog or cat resides in the home. She finds none of these things. 

“It’s right here, silly! This is Moon the Tenth. Remember when I told you about my love for betta fish?” 

Haseul wipes the sweat off her brow and exhales. “Oh, ok. I thought you were talking about a _real_ pet.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”  
  
Sooyoung’s eyes dart from Jinsol to Haseul, relishing in the entertaining scene that is about to unfold.  
  
“It’s a fish.”  
  
“And fish aren’t pets?”  
  
“Not in the sense that dogs and cats are. You can’t take a fish on a walk or play catch with it.” 

Jinsol crosses her arms and stands with her feet shoulder-width apart as if taking this defensive stance will make her appear somewhat intimidating. “Fish require the same amount of love and attention. You’d know that if you raised one before, which it appears you haven’t.”  
  
“I mean, I’ve had sushi…” Haseul attempts an appeal to humor. It backfires tremendously. 

“Why would you say something like that?” Jinsol sounds like she’s in pain, like Haseul just kicked her in the shin repeatedly. In fact, Sooyoung literally has to catch her roommate before she falls to the floor.  
  
“Yeah… this isn’t gonna work,” Sooyoung says as Jinsol lightly sobs into her neck. “Sorry, Haseul. I hope you’ll be able to find a place.” Sooyoung’s apology is genuine. Haseul’s a nice girl - chaotic, hyper, unaware of boundaries, but nice. 

Dejected, Haseul exits the apartment. Jinsol’s cries become fainter and fainter until she can no longer hear them. Now outside, Haseul stares blankly at the residential speed limit sign that no one follows. There’s a horde of men in BBCU sweaters carrying a keg of shitty beer and singing “Happy Birthday” to a guy named Brad. 

Only then does Haseul remember that today’s her birthday too. She has no one to spend it with. Sure, she’s friends with half the Blockberry population, but how many of those people would drop everything on a whim to buy her a cake and tell her to wish on wax for something that might never come? All of them have jobs, commitments, other friends, _girlfriends._ She could really use one of those. Any of those, but especially the last one. 

College is supposed to be one of the best chapters of one’s life. Right now, it feels like everyone around Haseul is living in a page-turner and she’s stuck inside a sad, pathetic wall of text:  
  
 _Today Haseul had an opportunity and blew it. Haseul will walk back to her dorm and watch as a lightbulb heats up her frozen dinner. Her parents will call and greet her a happy birthday, hopefully they’ll put her dog on the phone. They’ll worry about how she only has three days left before they kick her out of the dorms and she’ll lie and say that she’s secured a place. Then she’ll feel bad about lying. Haseul will think of Wendy and hope she’s doing well in Hollywood. She’ll live vicariously through her - she’ll tell everyone she knows: “Wendy was my roommate before she was famous!” She’ll go to sleep early and hope that tomorrow will be better. It has to be. Maybe she’ll wake up and meet that special someone who’ll remind her to take care of her own problems instead of stressing over everyone else’s. Maybe that someone can be the someone she wakes up to. Who is she? Where is she? What’s taking her so damn long?_ _  
__  
_(The answers to these questions are as follows: Vivi Wong, Hong Kong, and she’s waiting for her student visa to be approved. But she’s coming. She’s making her way to Haseul as fast as she can).

“You look lost, friend.”

“You can say that again.” Haseul’s still staring off into the distance. 

“You look lost, friend.”  
  
“You’re funny-Wait. Who are you?”  
  
The unfamiliar voice belongs to Jinsol and Sooyoung’s neighbor. 

“Friend, it’s me. It’s Todd. You know me, bro. I’m here to guide you.” Todd leans over to whisper in Haseul’s ear, not giving her enough time to swat him away. She could easily knock him down - his knees are shaky, his eyes are unfocused and bloodshot, and his hot breath carries the unmistakable scent of marijuana. “Hey, I’m serious. I’m a psychic.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Yeah. Trust me, bro.” 

Haseul, too sweet and gullible, actually believes him.  
  
“What do you see in my future, then?”  
  
Todd holds cheeto-stained fingers up to his temple and closes his eyes. “Woah woah woah,” he stumbles, “It’s too dark.” He opens his eyes and turns around to face Jinsol and Sooyoung’s apartment. “Ah yes. Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood.”  
  
“What?” 

“Those girls in there. You must go to them! They are the key!” 

Haseul’s eyes dilate and match Todd’s bulging ones. “Jinsol and Sooyoung are the key to what?!” 

“To finding your true love, dude! They’re your guardian angels!”  
  
Haseul shakes Todd by his shoulders. “Do you know who my true love is?!”  
  
“Uhhhh she’s got the coolest hair, bro. Pink like cotton candy. Damn, I want cotton candy now. Anyway, she’s really pretty, my friend. You’ll know her when you see her. When she smiles, the rest of the world smiles too, y’know? And the fairies on Pluto and the trolls on Jupiter...” Todd throws words together, hoping they form coherent sentences.  
  
Haseul throws him a mint and jogs back to the apartment. 

“Hey, where ya going, bro?”

“To Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood! Hopefully they take me back! I’ve got to meet this pink-haired girl!” 

* * *

**May 11, 2024 - Jung-Kim Backyard, Triple S 30 Year Anniversary & Prom Night **

“Oh Haseul,” Jinsol shakes her head, “Our neighbor wasn’t a psychic! He was high-“  
  
Sooyoung covers Jinsol’s mouth. “On life! He was high on life, kids.” 

“Regardless of who he was or what he was, Todd was right about everything. Jinsol and Sooyoung gave me the courage to talk to Vivi. And she _did_ have pink hair. And she _was_ my true love. Still is.” 

Vivi comes back from Jinsol and Jungeun’s kitchen with a steaming cup of caffeinated love. She’s aware of how much her wife rambles. Haseul won’t be able to finish her story without an energy boost. 

“What did I miss?” 

“Ahhh,” Haseul sips the coffee, “Thank you, wife. I was just talking about you.” 

“You’re saying good things, I hope,” Vivi says as she removes Haseul’s half-submerged tie from the mug. 

“Only the best, my love.” 

Yeojin scrolls on her phone and plays the “Alarm” ringtone on full blast, causing everyone to jump. “That’s all the cheesiness I’m allowing for tonight. Let’s get back to the story, mother. You’re not getting any younger.” 

“You know what, I was gonna jump to the part where I meet your mom, but I think I’ll drag it out even more…” 

* * *

**August 18, 1994 - Sooyoung and Jinsol's Apartment  
  
** Haseul keeps her right index finger on Sooyoung and Jinsol’s doorbell, forming one long “ding” while she raps at the door with her left fist. 

“LET ME IN!” 

She hears a muffled “What the fuck?” from Sooyoung before the door swings open. 

“Pleeease give me another chance to prove myself,” Haseul gets down on her knees and begs, “I’ll get a job. I’ll feed the fish. I’ll cook and clean the place till it’s spotless. I have nowhere else to go, I’m alone, and it’s my birthday. Please.” 

Sooyoung pities the girl but her energy is too much for her and Jinsol’s current dynamic. Then again, she did bring her and Jinsol closer. Haseul is indeed a mess but she means well and she doesn’t deserve to spend her birthday alone. 

Jinsol walks over to help Haseul up. “I’ll try to forget your sushi comment. Happy birthday by the way,” she winks. 

The trio resume the interview and Haseul does her best to answer each question without pissing one or both of her roommates off. She’s mostly successful although she makes the common mistake of calling Jinsol’s gundams “toys.” 

Sooyoung and Jinsol learn that Haseul is far more complex than she leads on. With each tale she tells, with each web of tangents she weaves, her roommates notice how she embodies the five archetypes presented in the 1985 flick, _The Breakfast Club._

She’s “a brain”: Haseul made the honor roll each semester of high school and continues to demonstrate her academic prowess in college.  
  
She’s “an athlete”: JO #3, despite her short stature and build, is a goalie for the BBCU women’s hockey team and the fastest sprinter for the BBCU women’s track & field team. 

She’s “a princess”: Although Haseul’s reputation pales in comparison to Sooyoung’s B-list celebrity status, her peers still admire her beauty and there’s not a day that goes by without someone complimenting her trademark bob haircut. 

She’s “a criminal”: The self-proclaimed “parkour master” regularly jaywalks, trespasses, and destroys property. Most of the time, her misdemeanors are unintentional. Most of the time. 

She’s “a basket case”: Haseul’s love life is a bigger disaster than all of the Greek tragedies she studied and interpreted in her theatre classes combined _._ The issue at hand is not that she’s never had a girlfriend - it’s that she could have had _several_ at this point. Many women have expressed interest in Haseul. However, every time she comes close to sealing the deal, she says something like “I like you because you remind me of my grandma” and gets a drink thrown at her face. Of course, Haseul’s grandma is loving, gentle, and smells like cinnamon all the time but she’s also a _grandmother_. Some thoughts are better left unsaid. 

“I think we’ve heard everything we need to hear,” Jinsol concludes as she puts her notepad away and removes her reading glasses. 

“But there’s something you need to know about us before you move in. It’s non-negotiable,” says Sooyoung. She looks nervously to Jinsol who stares back with encouraging eyes, “Jinsol and I- I think you should know that we like-“ 

“GIRLS!” Jinsol interrupts, “We like girls. All kinds of girls. Girls with short hair, curly hair. Girls with long, straight hair. Girls who can cook. Girls who can’t cook. We want to hold their hands, hug them, and let them know that they are born from the light of the sun.” 

Jinsol’s impassioned outburst makes her roommates smile softly at her pure, innocent heart. 

“Alright, Sol. I think she gets it. So if you’re not ok with that - if you’re homophobic for whatever reason, then we’re Haseulphobic. There’s the door, see you later. Maybe never.” 

Haseul smugly places her left foot on the coffee table and rolls her jeans up, exposing her ankle. 

The word “SAPPHIC” is tattooed with each letter corresponding to a different color of the rainbow.  
  
“That’s not gonna be an issue. So, how soon can I move in?” 

* * *

**October 30, 1994 - The Squad's Apartment  
  
** Inspired by her tattoo, Haseul names their trio the “Sapphic Singles Squad” and signs the second edition of the Code of Conduct (Jinsol spilled chocolate milk on the original one). One lazy Sunday, Haseul picks up the document and reads it closely. 

“We’re not allowed to catch feelings for anyone?!” Haseul asks the author of the sapphic constitution. 

“Of course. That’s the number one rule. I thought you knew that when you agreed to sign it,” Sooyoung says nonchalantly. 

“I didn’t really read it,” Haseul confesses, breaking eye contact with Sooyoung, “I put my name down because you and Jinsol seemed so serious about it. I just wanted to fit in with you guys.” 

Sooyoung tilts her head ever so slightly and flashes her alluring smile that has everyone absolutely subservient to her. “You’re the glue that holds this messy household together, Haseul. Don’t worry about that rule. If you meet a great girl, go for it. Besides, the Code of Conduct was originally supposed to be for me and me only. I need to hold myself accountable so I don’t get hurt again.” 

“But isn’t love worth the risk?” Haseul’s starry eyes are filled with hope. A nameless, faceless pink-haired girl comes to mind. 

(At this moment, Vivi is boarding a 16 hour flight from Hong Kong to Los Angeles to Blockberry aboard Hi High Airlines). 

“She would have to be nothing short of perfect in order for me to break the code. More than perfect, actually.” 

(At this moment, Jiwoo accepts her first place ribbon at her town’s pumpkin carving competition). 

“What’s your type, Sooyoung?” 

“Well, I’m a cynic.”  
  
“Wow, you don’t say,” Haseul delivers as sarcastically as possible. Sooyoung rolls her eyes but retains her smile because Haseul has every right to tease her. 

“So that means she’d have to be an optimist to balance us out. Fun - I should be able to spend the whole day with her without getting bored. Spontaneous. Someone who can’t sit still.” 

“You just described Jinsol.” 

Sooyoung freaks out and looks around to make sure her delightfully annoying best friend isn’t within earshot.  
  
“I’ll admit there’s some similarities. I want someone like Jinsol but she can’t be _exactly_ like her. Don’t get me wrong, I love that goofball but to love her beyond a platonic level just sounds exhausting. I’m sure someone out there has the patience for her nerdy ass.” 

(At this moment, Jungeun is sitting on the bleachers, cheering for her best friend, Jiwoo. In between announcements for honorable mentions and third place, she sketches blueprints for a planetarium that she will one day have a role in building). 

“Please don’t tell Jinsol I said any of this. I can’t have her thinking I’m weak.” 

Haseul laughs at Sooyoung and Jinsol’s bizarre rivalry for the coveted “President of the Squad” position. As the years progress, she would find herself mediating all of their squabbles, truly living up to her reputation as the Squad’s glue.  
  
“Your secret is safe with me.” 

Haseul does manage to keep her word. Unfortunately, Sooyoung and Jinsol get into a fight the next day. It lasts until December. 

* * *

**December 9, 1994 - Triple S Apartment  
  
** “Can you tell Sooyoung to buy detergent when she goes out?”

Haseul points her spatula at Jinsol. “Why can’t _you_ tell her? I’m tired of being your little messenger. Do you even remember what petty thing you’re fighting over?” 

“Of course. How could I forget the tantrum she threw over my Halloween costume?” 

“You didn’t have a costume…” 

“Yes I did! I dressed up as Sooyoung’s biggest fear!”  
  
“The creepy baby from the toilet paper commercial?”

Haseul and Jinsol both shudder.  
  
“Ok. Second biggest fear.” Jinsol runs out to grab paper and a pen. She writes “COMMITMENT” on the sheet and tapes it to her shirt. “She’s mad cause she knows I’m right," Jinsol shrugs. 

“Doesn’t matter if you were right or not. This is obviously a sensitive topic for Sooyoung. And if you’re not afraid of commitment, then why did you sign the singles pact? You’re constantly whining about not having a girlfriend. Even more than me-” 

“First of all, I don’t _whine_.” Jinsol steals the spatula and scrambles Haseul’s already-scrambled eggs to a fine, yellow pulp. “Second, I signed it because I’m not gonna meet the love of my life here. No one notices me, no one looks at me the way people look at Sooyoung. She collects admirers - I collect comic books and Gundams. She’s the hero, I’m just her sidekick.” 

Seeking to remove the pout off Jinsol’s face, Haseul walks to their living room and picks up Jinsol’s blanket dangling over the couch. She returns to the kitchen, faces Jinsol, and stands on the tips of her toes to tie the blanket around her friend’s neck like a cape. 

“Be your own hero,” she says, squeezing Jinsol’s shoulder. Haseul evokes only a small smile from Jinsol. Unsatisfied, Haseul channels her inner theatre kid and cranks up the theatrics to the next level. 

Haseul unspools the yarn she was using to crochet a dog sweater for Killer and spins herself around it, eventually falling to the ground from dizziness. “Help! Help! I’m a damsel in distress, searching for my hero! Save me from the horrors of being single!” 

“I’ll save you!” Jinsol twirls her “cape” and pretends to fly. She comes to Haseul’s rescue, evading invisible laser beams and supersonic blasts along the way. Halfway into untangling Haseul from her pink web, Jinsol starts giggling. 

“We’re nineteen-year-olds playing pretend, Seul! This is pathetic!” 

Unbeknownst to her roommates, Sooyoung arrived home early and has been watching their shenanigans from the front door. She has two options: retire to her room and secretly listen to sad love songs or forgive Jinsol, get over their pointless argument, and join the fun. Sooyoung will always choose the latter. 

“Yes, so pathetic indeed. How embarrassingly easy it is to trap the mighty SuperSol with a decoy! Haseul has lured you in and now I’ve got you where I want you. I shall finally get my sweet revenge!” 

“Sooyoung?” 

Sooyoung guffaws and sneers at her archenemy. “You’re mistaking me for my twin. Sooyoung’s the good one. I am Yves, the evil one. I will be your undoing!” 

“Woah, the plot thickens!” Haseul interjects. 

SuperSol and Yves exchange a few more lines of awful dialogue before they get bored and move on to making margaritas. By the end of the night, the roommates are messily painting each others’ nails and bantering just like old times. It’s as if the two months of silent treatment never happened. 

“Guyssss,” Jinsol slurs, “I have a confession to make.” 

Sooyoung burps. “What?” 

Jinsol screams in Sooyoung’s ear, “I’M NOT A NATURAL BLONDE!” 

“No shit,” Sooyoung rubs her earlobe, “If you’re a real blonde, then I’m straight.” 

Jinsol laughs so hard that slaps her knee until it turns red. “I love the shit out of you, Soo.” 

“I shit the love out of you- I mean, I love you shithead-Fuck! What did you say, again? It was really cute.” 

As Jinsol and Sooyoung drunkenly yell a litany of profanities and debate which one of them Haseul likes more, Haseul relishes in the moment. 

She may not have found her cotton-candy haired soulmate yet, but she’s found Sol and Soo: disaster lesbians and her best friends.

* * *

 **February 14, 1995 - Triple S Apartment  
  
** The Squad’s Valentine’s Day plans of launching water balloons at Seulgi’s apartment using bras as slingshots comes to a sudden halt when Moon XIII meets his premature demise.

“Why did you have to leave us so soon!” Jinsol bawls, “We fed you on time, we kept your home nice and clean, why why WHYYYYY?” 

Even Sooyoung appears to be shaken by the betta fish’s death - it takes her five minutes to light a single candle and she refuses to look at the body. “Can you flush him in your bathroom?” she asks Haseul, “Yours is further away so we might not hear it. I don’t _want_ to hear it.” 

This is too melodramatic, even for Haseul. Nevertheless, she honors Sooyoung’s simple request and Jinsol’s complicated request of singing two versions of “Amazing Grace” (one in English, the other in “fish language”). But when Jinsol accuses Haseul of “not mourning hard enough,” Haseul puts her foot down. 

“Is this how you want to spend your Valentine’s Day? Come on guys! You’re here crying over something that has a shorter life span than milk! Right now, people are getting proposed to, getting married, making babies!” 

“How do you expect us to do any of that? We’re all single and alone!” Jinsol opens the door and steps out screaming, “Hello! Attention, neighbors! Whoever wants to marry or procreate, come see us at apartment 379! Men need not apply!” 

“And she wonders why she’s still single,” Sooyoung says to Haseul. 

“Go get her before she makes a fool of herself.”

" _Before?_ ” 

When Sooyoung finally talks Jinsol down and drags her back inside their apartment, they find Haseul in a little black dress and clutching a purse that looks like it can hold nothing more than keys and a Chapstick. 

“Get dressed. We’re going out.” 

Haseul takes Jinsol and Sooyoung to the other side of Blockberry where the streetlights are either dim or broken and every narrow, stinky alley leads to a narrower, stinkier one. 

“I just wanna go home and read _National Geographic_!” 

“How much longer, Seul? I’m cold and this area’s sketchy!” 

They say the nicest people are the ones you don’t want to piss off. Right now, Haseul is seething. She turns around and unleashes her pent-up frustration that comes from months of babysitting Nuisance #1 and Nuisance #2. 

“We did not come all this way for you bitches to bitch. Jinsol, that article on the Great Barrier Reef will still be there when we get back home. Sooyoung, I know it will ruin the look you’re going for but just put on your jacket. And trust me this place is safe. Even if it isn’t, I’m friends with plenty of cops, security officers, bodyguards, assassins...” 

“Can you repeat that last one?” 

“Bodyguards.” 

Jinsol and Sooyoung fear that one day, Haseul’s multiple connections to some of Blockberry’s more… morally ambiguous people will get her into serious trouble. Ironically, Haseul will be the one to bail out Jinsol both times she gets arrested. ~~But those are stories for part 2.~~

Ten blocks and twenty complaints later, the trio arrives at an abandoned building.

“After you, Sooyoung.” 

“Hell no! I’m not going in there!” 

“Jinsol?” 

Jinsol hides behind Sooyoung. 

“Fine,” Haseul huffs. She opens the door no more than a few centimeters and a crowd cheers.   
  


“Hey, it’s Haseul!”   
“Long time no see!”   
“How’s it going, Jojo?”   
  


Intrigued, Jinsol and Sooyoung enter the shady establishment against their better judgement. Despite the dilapidated exterior, the inside is well-lit and furnished. 

“Hey, Bulldog! Hi Bone Saw! It’s going well, Poison! Thanks for asking!” 

“Those aren’t their real names, right?” Jinsol asks Sooyoung. 

“God, I hope not.” 

Haseul leads Jinsol and Sooyoung around the pub, navigating through couples engaged in aggressive makeouts and friends in escalating brawls (“They’re not fighting for real, guys. Don’t worry,” Haseul reassures). 

She secures them a spot at the bar where the bartender prepares a martini for his favorite customer. 

“Hey, Jojo! This one’s on the house!” 

“Thanks, Shake and Bake!” 

Baekhyun slides two more drinks to Jinsol and Sooyoung. “Any friend of Haseul’s is a friend of mine. What are you girls celebrating tonight?” 

“My fish passed-“ Jinsol starts. 

“We’re not accepting the fate of the Moon,” Haseul interrupts, quite proud of herself for coming up with such a badass line. 

Baekhyun furrows his brows as he dries off a wine glass. “I don’t know what that means but good for you.” 

The trio toast to Moon XIII, their friendship, and the hopes that one of them will leave this bar with a girl’s number. But where are the girls? 

“Most of the women here are in relationships and the rest are scary,” Jinsol observes. 

“They’re biker girls just like me. What’s there to be scared about?” 

“Haseul, you drive a moped scooter. That’s the furthest thing from a motorcycle,” Sooyoung snarks.

“Hey, I got a ticket for disrupting the flow of traffic. My moped and I rule these streets!” 

“You got a ticket because you were driving too _slow._ ” 

“Nothing wrong with being cautious. Girls find that sexy.” 

“No they don’t! _Danger_ is sexy. Back me up here, Jinsol… Jinsol? Fuck, we lost her again.” 

Sooyoung scans the pub (which has now reached maximum occupancy) for a head of blonde hair. Jinsol is over by the billiard tables and dart boards chatting up Bulldog for veterinary advice. 

“I should go there, just to keep an eye on her,” Sooyoung states. Haseul, fully aware of Jinsol’s tendency to attract trouble, nods. 

Alone and bored, Haseul traces the rim of her martini glass and produces an unpleasant sound. 

“Yikes. Maybe I’ll sit somewhere else.” 

And there she is. A gorgeous, single and very much available, pink-haired foreigner. She’s breathtaking. 

_Keep your cool. This is your chance, Haseul! This is your dream girl._

Haseul picks up the abandoned drink next to her and pours the contents into her glass. This time, she creates a lovely noise. 

“That’s C major. If you stay, I’ll show you C minor.” 

The pink-haired girl sets her purse on the seat next to Haseul and smirks at her forwardness. 

“Do you offer these music lessons for free?” 

“No. But I make exceptions for pink-haired girls in bars.” 

“So if my hair was green, you’d charge full price?” She arches her brow. 

Haseul ponders the question. “Hmmm I guess I’ll include green-haired girls in the mix too.” 

“Sounds like you have a type for girls with eccentric hair colors.” 

“ _Pretty_ girls with eccentric hair colors.” 

Haseul feels her heart hammer in her chest. She looks to Jinsol and Sooyoung for encouragement but they’re busy kicking Bulldog’s ass at darts. There’s no one to stop her from flirting with this girl. There’s also no one to stop her from saying something monumentally stupid. 

_Don’t you dare fuck this up, Seul. She’s sitting down. Oh my god, she’s right next to me. Now she’s whispering in my ear. This is not a drill. I repeat this is not-_

“Are you gonna keep playing that drink or are you gonna buy me one?” 

Haseul calls Baekhyun over but her eyes are fixed on her conquest. “I’ll have another martini and she’ll have…” 

* * *

**May 11, 2024 -** **Jung-Kim Backyard, Triple S 30 Year Anniversary & Prom Night **

Haseul closes her eyes and relives the memory. She had a lot of fun that night. Granted, it was with the wrong girl, but still, fun. 

“And that, kids, is how I met Sana.”  
  
“SANA?!” Hyejoo and Yerim ask, befuddled.

“SHY SHY SHY SANA? First, Ms. Hirai replaces our lame dance teacher, then the limo driver claims she’s NOT Jeongyeon even though she clearly is, and now my _mother_ of all people met _the_ Sana Minatozaki at a bar? Are you planning something even bigger? Like a fan meet just for me? A reward for being the best daughter?” 

“It _might_ have been that Sana. Honestly, I don't know. It was a while ago, Yeojin. And Ms. Hirai is a sweet lady who lives in the suburbs and gets people to register to vote. Please stop harassing her.” 

Yeojin sinks into herself and pouts. 

“Your mom didn’t shut down your Jeongyeon theory,” Yerim says, audible only to her best friend. “And did you catch the name of the limo company?” 

Yeojin shakes her head. 

“JYP’s Luxurious Limos. Don’t give up hope, Yeo.” 

Haseul shuts off the projector and sits beside the _right_ pink-haired girl.   
  


“You still haven’t told us how you met Aunt Vivi! Is that really the end of the presentation?”  
“Why did Aunt Sol commit arson for Aunt Jungeun?”   
“And how did Aunt Jiwoo help Aunt Soo get over her fear of commitment?”   
  


Overwhelmed by their daughters’ questions and surprised that they care enough to want to hear the mushy, falling-in-love portions of their stories, Sooyoung calls an impromptu Squad meeting. The trio go back inside the house and sit at Jinsol’s dining table. They look extra dignified in their cashmere, Armani tuxedos, particularly Sooyoung. With their President leaning over the table authoritatively and Jinsol and Haseul pacing back and forth, one would think they are discussing something with severe implications. 

In reality, Jinsol and Haseul are providing their arguments for why the story of Sooyoung punching a clown should be told to their children. The president dismisses the notion, stating that her coulrophobia, or fear of clowns, has no relevance to her and Jiwoo’s love story. Eventually, the Squad settles on a game plan, shakes hands, and returns to the backyard where Hyejoo and Yerim are waiting on the edge of their seats and Yeojin stands on hers. 

President Sooyoung addresses the crowd, “Due to popular demand, the Sapphic Singles Squad will indeed make a second comeback this year.” 

Their daughters celebrate while their wives sigh exasperatedly. 

“However, it will be delayed until further notice. The only thing we can guarantee is that it will happen before Hyejoo and Yerim go to college.” 

“Right, I forgot that was a thing,” Yeojin admits. 

“Why not sooner? Can’t you come back by the next family game night in two weeks?” Yerim requests. 

Vice President Jinsol takes the floor. “There’s a lot of preparation that goes into these comebacks. Not to mention we do have jobs to go to and children to raise.” 

“That’s code for you’re never coming back,” Yerim mutters to the ground. 

“Hey,” Jinsol pulls her daughter in for a side hug, “We will always come back.” 

Jinsol shares a knowing look with Jungeun and lets her wife lean on her other shoulder. She thanks the stars, destiny, and every deity from every religion for leading her to this woman time and time again.

“Thank you, everyone for coming to our prom night. But now, y’all need to leave. I want to watch the blue whale documentary on the _National Geographic_ channel with _my family_.” 

* * *

After the long night Hyejoo just had, she wants nothing more than to go to bed. However, Yerim delegated her the significant task of messaging potential roommates. 

Sooyoung knocks on her daughter’s bedroom door. “Are you winning, hon?” 

Hyejoo chuckles and sets her phone down. “I’m not playing any games. I’m contacting Chaeryeong and Ryujin to see if one of them wants to be our roommate.” 

“I remember those girls! Weren’t they in your first dance class?” 

“Yeah. They ended up going to different high schools but Yerim and I are still close with them.” 

Sooyoung gathers the dozen empty water bottles Hyejoo has scattered about her room and tosses them in a recycling bin. Then, the doting mother picks up her daughter’s phone and scrolls through the BBCU Class of 2028 Roommate Matchups Facebook page. 

“These other girls seem lit too! You should slide into their DMs!” 

Hyejoo rolls her eyes. “Mom, please get off Twitter. And it’s between Chae and Ryujin. We already know them so we know exactly what to expect. No wild cards like Aunt Haseul.” 

Sooyoung peeks under Hyejoo’s bed and removes crumpled up candy wrappers. Hyejoo’s untidiness is one of the few things she won’t miss. 

“But where’s the fun in that? College is about meeting new people! Keep your options open. Don’t be afraid to branch out. You might meet someone incredible.” 

As the saying goes, mother knows best. Hyejoo reluctantly messages a third girl with a funny profile and hilarious profile picture. 

Sooyoung turns off the room light but keeps Hyejoo’s wolf nightlight on. Her daughter, although she’ll never admit it, can’t sleep without it. 

“Good night, kid. Don’t stay up too late.” 

“Ok… wait, Mom?” 

“Yeah?” 

“If we have to wait that long for Triple S to come back, can you at least give me a spoiler?” 

Sooyoung sits on the side of Hyejoo’s bed and tucks her in despite her protests that she’s far too grown up for this. 

“September 8, 1995. That’s where we’ll pick up with the story. Triple S was never the same after that day. I was never the same.” 

“What happened?” 

The blue light emanating from Hyejoo’s phone illuminates her and reminds Sooyoung of the remarkable woman waiting for her just down the hall. 

“I think you know the answer to that.” 

> _Sooyoung shrugs off her BBCU Dance windbreaker and tosses her keys. When they slide past the kitchen counter and land on the floor, she doesn’t bother to pick them up._ _It can wait till tomorrow._
> 
> _The microwave clock reads 2:15 A.M._
> 
> _Oh. It is tomorrow._
> 
> _Haseul flicks the switch. She and Jinsol have been sitting in the dark for hours waiting for their friend._
> 
> _“Where the hell have you been? Do you know what time it is?”_
> 
> _“Son of a- Can you guys stop doing that? It’s creepy!”_
> 
> _Jinsol crosses her arms and stares at Sooyoung like a mother who “isn’t mad, just disappointed.”_
> 
> _"Haseul and I were worried sick! Orientation ended at 5. No call, no heads up.”_
> 
> _Sooyoung knows the exaggerated parental-like concern is authentic. Jinsol and Haseul are colossal pains in the asses but they’ve also shown her a brand of friendship few will ever be fortunate enough to experience. Jinsol and Haseul are the main characters in her great platonic love story._ _  
> __  
> __The freshman in her campus tour group is about to be the star of her romantic one._
> 
> _“It’s a Friday night. I went out! Besides, I’ve come home way later than this.”_
> 
> _Haseul’s not buying it. “She met a girl.”_
> 
> _Jinsol approaches Sooyoung with narrowed eyes. She holds her friend’s chin up and inspects the rosiness on her cheeks._
> 
> _“Oh it’s a girl, alright. She’s blushing. I didn’t know you could blush!”_
> 
> _“Shut up, Blondie,” Sooyoung weakly dismisses._
> 
> _Now would be the ideal time for one of Sooyoung’s snarky comebacks. But only twelve hours with the young woman in the strawberry dress and she’s already gone soft._
> 
> _“Who is this girl?” Haseul asks as she grabs a bottle of water._
> 
> _"Woman,” Sooyoung corrects. Her eyes dart to the blank refrigerator door. “Wait, where’s the code of conduct?”_
> 
> _“It’s at the copy place getting laminated. Don’t tell me you forgot.”  
> _ _  
> __“Oh right. My bad. Well, I’m gonna sleep. Good night, weirdos.”_
> 
> _Sooyoung makes her way to her room, taking each step like she’s weightless._
> 
> _“So where’s she from? What’s her major? What's so special about her that she's got you skipping like this?” Jinsol interrogates._
> 
> _Sooyoung closes her door._
> 
> _“You gotta give us something, Soo! What’s her name?!” Haseul yells._
> 
> _Sooyoung isn’t ready to divulge any details just yet. But she loves this woman’s name. Just thinking of it - just thinking of seeing her again and hearing her heavenly voice has Sooyoung dreaming of things she never thought she wanted. She sticks her head out the door and utters what will soon be her favorite five letter word.  
> _ **_  
> "Jiwoo."  
>   
> _**

Hyejoo is just about to sleep when Yerim lights up her phone.

**Choerry:** Did anyone respond?

 **Hyejoo:** No 

  
Hyejoo checks her direct messages one last time for good measure. Suddenly, typing bubbles appear. 

**Yeojin:** Your search is pointless. Y’all are never gonna find a better friend than me 💅🏼

 **Hyejoo:** Wait nvm the third girl is typing 

**Yeojin:** Third girl? I thought you were set on either Chaeryeong or Ryujin

 **Hyejoo:** Well this girl's profile stood out to me 

**Hyejoo sent an attachment.**

**Choerry:** She linked her insta. Time to stalk 👀

 **Yeojin:** She has 11k followers 👀👀👀

 **Choerry:** WAIT I KNOW HER. I WATCH HER VLOGS. I’ll send some rn 

**Choerry sent an attachment.**

Hyejoo thinks she's pretty. 

**Choerry sent an attachment.**  
  
Hyejoo thinks she's _really_ pretty.

**Choerry sent an attachment.**  
  
Hyejoo thinks she's beautiful.  
  


 **Yeojin:** What’s her name? 

  
Hyejoo types her response before saying it aloud to herself.

  
**“Chaewon.”**

As the name fills the space of Hyejoo’s quiet, dim room, another story begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In last chapter's notes, I said that one of the 3 main ships would have their first interaction. Well, I lied. It was technically Hyejoo and Chaewon ;) 
> 
> Every ship will meet in part 2. For real this time - no more Sana fakeouts. But first... part 1 deleted scenes. Lots of domesticity, clownery, and fun surprises. 
> 
> If you made it this far, thank you so much! I can't believe I started this fic with Lip yelling "HULA DANCE!" and now we're here. Leave a comment if you’re not shy, not me (ITZYYY). Stay safe, drink water, you matter. 
> 
> twt: @galaxylippie  
> curiouscat.qa/galaxylippie


	9. (Vi)Vignettes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deleted scenes from part 1. And at the end, a sneak peek from part 2 of the series.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, folks. This is the end of part 1. It's been a fun ride but there's a lot more to come. 
> 
> ALSO LOONA CB WOOO

**Yeojin and Hannah MOMOntana (From Ch. 4)  
**  
  
Yeojin’s obsession with Twice, a girl group that debuted around the time her parents started dating and disbanded shortly after her first birthday, has always been a surprising, yet key facet of her personality. She has stated on multiple occasions: “Everyone is born a Once whether they like it or not. Because what do you do when you’re born? Cry. Like TT. Just like TT.” 

When Twice announced their worldwide reunion tour, Yeojin begged her mothers to let her take a personal leave from school to follow them from show to show. Obviously, Vivi and Haseul denied their daughter of this privilege - not because it was expensive and irresponsible - but because they had their own petty reasons.

> _  
> “Why do you need to see them? Isn’t anyone born before the 21st century considered ancient to you?”_
> 
> _“Mother, this is different. This is TWICE we’re talking about. They’re cool.”_
> 
> _“You don’t think Mom and I are cool?”_
> 
> _Crickets.  
>   
> _

Yeojin began to rebel in her unique manner: blasting Twice’s discography at full volume and replacing her mothers’ credit cards with photocards of every member except Chaeyoung (her bias). 

“Yeojin Wong-Jo!” Vivi’s voice echoes through their Art Deco home. 

Yeojin groans and says her goodbyes to Hyejoo and Yerim over Facetime. “Wish me luck guys, I think my mom just found out about the prank.” Her friends salute her and Yeojin takes her sweet time walking down the staircase. 

“Oui, chef! You called?” Yeojin says brightly when she reaches the bottom. 

Her stern mother has no time for games as she dumps the contents of her wallet on the tile floor. 

“Mom, no!” Yeojin scrambles to pick up every photocard, inspecting each one for dust, damage, and creases. “These are expensive!” 

Vivi scoffs and Yeojin can physically hear, see, and feel the motherly disappointment. “I know. I bought them for you with my hard-earned salary. Imagine the cashier’s surprise when I hand him Dahyun instead of my Mastercard!” 

Similar to her other mother, Yeojin copes with her negative emotions by telling a poorly-timed joke. “Well, Dahyun is the master of variety for Twi-” 

Vivi stomps on her bias wrecker’s card and Yeojin feels a part of her soul leave her body. She lies there, limp on the ground. She feels her mother’s hands pick her up and sit her down on the bottom step. 

“Yeojin. Hello?” Vivi snaps her fingers in front of Yeojin’s hollow eyes. The mother sighs. “Go to your room, get the credit cards and anything else you pickpocketed, and maybe I’ll ground you for one month instead of two.” 

Yeojin remains a statue. 

“Do I have to _carry_ you up the stairs?” 

Vivi does just that, huffing and cursing herself and Haseul for spoiling their daughter to the point of no return.   
  
  


The next day, Hyejoo notices Yeojin’s bare phone case. 

“Where’s your Dahyun card?” 

“Don’t,” Yerim warns through gritted teeth. 

Hyejoo takes another bite of her apple and buries the subject. 

The trio discuss their plans for Yerim’s birthday at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter during which Yerim and Hyejoo get into a debate over the long-term benefits of purchasing a collectible wand.  
  
“It’s my childhood dream to own the Elder Wand!” argues Yerim.   
  
“Don’t cough up your money to J.K. Rowling. You’re paying $25 for a stick!” yells Hyejoo. 

“Hyejoo,” Yeojin places her hand on her friend’s shoulder, “What do you have against J.K. Rowling? Did she call you gay too? This is not new information.” 

Before Hyejoo can even the score with a Sooyoung-inspired insult, their perky dance teacher demands their attention. 

“Alright girls, let’s warm up!” 

“Ms. Hirai! You got bangs!” Yeojin observes. 

The dance teacher flips her hair and poses for Yeojin. 

“Thanks for noticing, Yeojin! You likey?” 

And then it hits her. 

_Likey. Bangs. Ms. Hirai. Holy shit._

Her beady eyes have grown weary with age and she has some stray gray hairs but this is her. Momo Hirai: main dancer of the nation’s girl group turned dance teacher at a performing arts high school in a picture-perfect, suburban neighborhood. A living icon stands before her in Lululemon leggings and a flannel. 

Yeojin is forbidden to see Twice in concert. But her parents never said anything about a one woman Momo show. Yeojin has a new mission: expose Hannah Momontana and her double life. 

On teacher appreciation week, Yeojin presents her teacher a lollipop that bears a striking resemblance to the official Twice light stick. She hopes it will trigger memories of her idol days. 

“Ms. Hirai, I’m enjoying your class _more and more_.” 

“Thank you, Yeojin,” Ms. Hirai sets the candy next to a heaping pile of student gifts. “That means a lot to me.” 

“Would you say it makes you _feel special_?” Yeojin waits anxiously for a response, her fingernails clawing into the teacher’s mahogany desk. 

_Come on, Momo. Take the lyrical bait._

“Sure!” Ms. Hirai’s voice raises half an octave - most would not think anything of it. But Yeojin has watched enough “Twice on Crack” and “Momo Moments I Think About a Lot” compilations to know that something is off. Teacher and student enter a staring contest that ends only when Ms. Chou steals Ms. Hirai away for a “faculty chit-chat.” 

_Chou? Tzuyu? Fuck, they’re everywhere! Our school is being invaded by Twice members!_

“Don’t you think you’re seeing what you _want_ to see and not what is actually there?” Hyejoo’s sarcastic tone interrupts Yeojin’s daydreams. 

“What do you want? Proof? I’ll give you proof.” 

Yeojin yells for her teacher who is standing in the doorway, “Ms. Hirai! I’m working on a crossword puzzle and I’m stumped. It’s five letters: not once, not thrice but…?”  
  
Ms. Hirai selectively filters out Yeojin’s voice and redirects her hushed conversation with Ms. Chou further from the practice room.

“Quadruple,” Hyejoo answers, smirking. 

“I wasn’t asking _you_ , smartass.”   
  


* * *

  
**How Triple S got banned from Whole Foods (From Ch 7)  
  
**

Sooyoung dreads grocery shopping. She always manages to choose the one shopping cart with the squeaky wheels or run into the many soccer moms her wife has fought. 

But Jiwoo’s presence makes the experience bearable, even enjoyable. Every time Sooyoung crosses a product off their grocery list, Jiwoo has to kiss her and vice versa. It’s a reliable strategy they’ve used since college. (“No kisses until you annotate another page of your reading. I mean it, Sooyoung.”) From then, Sooyoung always completed her homework and until now, she always leaves the store with everything they need. 

Unfortunately, it’s a school day and Mrs. Kim-Ha is busy resolving disputes over stolen glitter pens and reminding her second graders that paint is not edible. 

So instead, Sooyoung asks her friends to accompany her. Professor Jinsol doesn’t have lectures on Tuesdays and Haseul… well, until now, Sooyoung still has no idea what Haseul does for a living. 

“Seul, can you toss me that watermelon?” 

“You got it, boss!” 

Haseul obeys the order literally. She launches the fruit and it hurtles towards her friend’s head at maximum velocity. Sooyoung can rule out “grocery store worker” and “pitcher” from the list of Haseul’s possible careers. 

Sooyoung’s exceptional reflexes allow her to duck just in time, avoiding both the watermelon and the grim possibility of making Jiwoo a young widow. 

The fruit splits and splatters on the ground. 

“What the fuck, Haseul?!” 

“You said to toss it, not hand it to you.” Haseul’s not even looking at Sooyoung - she’s playing 8 ball with her daughter. 

“Did you really expect me to catch that?!” 

“Yeah, it’s not that hard,” Haseul says with heavy arrogance. She frowns and sets her phone down when she remembers that Yeojin should be paying attention in English class. 

“What’s up, guys?” Jinsol returns from the free samples booth, nibbling on a bag of kale chips. 

“Catch!” Haseul throws the melon without warning at her clumsiest friend. 

Jinsol slips on the pink slush left on the floor from the first watermelon. She can only watch in horror as the second bounces and breaks next to her. 

“Sorry! I wasn’t ready,” Jinsol picks herself up, wiping watermelon juice off her jeans. She rubs her hands together, squats, and gets into a catcher’s position. “Ok,” she says with arms outstretched, “Let’s try that again.” 

Sooyoung snatches the third melon from Haseul. “Enough! No one is tossing any more watermelons! Good thing I never asked any of you to toss me Hyejoo when she was a baby!” 

“Dude, you need to stop using that word.” 

A few minutes later, an attendant arrives to sweep up the mess and escort the grown women outside the store. They are told never to return and that the surveillance footage of Haseul, Jinsol, and Sooyoung playing “real life Fruit Ninja” will be kept permanently.  
  


* * *

  
**Professor Jung-Kim: Accomplished Scientist, Mother, and WIFE (From Ch 7)**   
  


Over the eleven years Professor Jung-Kim has been teaching at Polaris University, she has found increasingly unique ways to keep her students interested and engaged. She’s composed songs, made skits, dressed up as various sea creatures, and even invited Ellen Degeneres to speak on her experiences as the role of Dory. She has become somewhat of a meme around campus - many non-biology students who have no interest in the field whatsoever, register for her classes just to witness the “Hot Blonde Mess that is Professor Jung-Kim.” 

And if Jinsol’s infectious enthusiasm for all things science and hilarious side tangents weren’t enough to hook students in, Jinsol’s ten-minute lecture on the beauty of her wife’s eyes certainly finished the job. 

“There’s no way anyone is that pretty,” a young man yells from the last row of the lecture hall. 

“Who said that? Show yourself!” Jinsol demands. 

The student, a walking entity of sass named Mark Lee, shrinks in his seat. 

“Whoever you are,” Jinsol directs her laser pointer to the back wall, “My wife would like a word with you. Now, let me find the actual PowerPoint I was supposed to present today…” 

The technologically inept professor accidentally opens an email from soohahaha@aol.com with the subject line: “ **[URGENT] Found pic of you getting stuck in post office mailbox XD**.” 

A girl named Mia raises her hand. “Professor? What if you brought her to class one day? So we could finally meet her.” 

All 85 students express their approval of Mia’s idea. Some start applauding, others whistle, and a select few stand up to chant “Mrs. Kim! Mrs. Kim!” A stricter educator could easily tame this rambunctious crowd. But Jinsol is far too lenient and willing to partake in what her daughter and honorary nieces call “clownery.” 

“I’ll think about it. But I can’t promise anything. If Jungeun says no, that’s the law.” 

“Whipped!” Mark hollers. 

Jinsol shakes her head and resumes her original lecture on overfishing. She’s already behind schedule and besides, there’s no use arguing with the truth. 

Jungeun says yes. Not because she really wants to, not because she’s already taking a week off work, but because it will make Jinsol happy. 

“I _love_ take your wife to work day!” Jinsol squeezes Jungeun’s hand as they stroll through the sleek, metropolitan campus. Jinsol uses her free hand to wave to colleagues and ask “Have you met my wife, Professor?” 

When they stop at a coffee cart, Jinsol has the barista form a crescent moon out of steamed milk foam. 

Jinsol and Jungeun’s fascination with astronomy, particularly the moon, is one of many ties that bind them. 

“For you, moon pie.” Jungeun blushes at the pet name. 

Jinsol names everyone she loves after the moon: her betta fish, her wife, her daughter. 

(Yerim’s full name is Yerim Luna Jung-Kim). 

“Aren’t we late to your class?” 

“I waited 20 years to meet you. They can wait a few minutes.” 

The couple walks hand-in-hand into Jinsol’s Bio 403 class, silencing the students. They stop unzipping their laptops from their sleeves and slamming Hydroflasks on their desks. Their attention is drawn entirely to Jungeun and her 2 carat, princess-cut diamond ring. 

“Wait, _that’s_ Professor’s wife?” someone whispers.

“How do we know she’s not a paid actress?” another student suggests. 

Jinsol writes “Guest Speaker: Architect Jungeun Kim-Jung” on the whiteboard. She scratches her head, taps her marker against the board a few times, and erases the “Jung.” She writes it again in capital letters and underlines her surname three times. 

“Everyone, say hi to our guest!” Jinsol yells, her back still turned to the class. 

Jungeun waves shyly and gets bombarded with questions. 

“Are you _really_ Professor’s wife?”   
  
“What did you see in her besides her nerdiness?”   
  
“How did you meet?”   
  


“Yes, I am her wife. In case the ring didn’t give me away. As for the second question, I’d say her heart. Cliche, I know,” Jungeun gazes at Jinsol’s cocky stance: one hand on her hip and the other on her desk, “But Jinsol has the biggest heart. If you think there’s nothing more she could love than marine biology, you’re terribly mistaken.” 

A few students “aww” and shout “Goals!” Jungeun swears she hears someone cry, “I want what they have!” 

“And the story of how we met…” Jungeun continues, “Is really, really long. We’re actually in the process of telling our daughter the story before she goes off to college.” 

Jinsol lights up at the mention of Yerim. 

“Ooooh you guys still need to meet Yerim! I’ll try to sneak her in. You’ll love her!” 

“We can’t just pull her out of class so she can speak to yours!” Jungeun nags, ignoring the packed classroom of nosy students. 

“C’mon, Jungeun. It’s her senior year. Let her ditch.” 

“No,” Jungeun says definitively. 

“Sorry, everyone. My wife said no.” 

“Whipped!” 

Jungeun’s presence proves to be a major distraction (and the insight into Jinsol’s personal life probably offends several instructor-student boundaries). Jinsol cuts the question and answer portion short and tells her wife to wait for her in her office. 

The class whines when their professor begins to distribute a stack of pop quizzes. 

“I hope you all did your reading. This quiz is based on the last three chapters. But because I’m nice, I included an extra credit question.” 

As soon as the students receive their papers, they flip to the last page. Jinsol watches them chuckle under their breath.

_  
Question # 13 _

_Jungeun Kim-Jung is:  
  
_

A. Today’s guest speaker  
  
B. The prof’s wife  
  
C. Yerim’s mom 

D. The most beautiful woman in the world 

E. All of the above 

* * *

  
**Heejin and Hyunjin Sitting in a Tree (From Ch 8)**

  
Hyunjin eyes the old oak tree with unsteady branches and crumbly bark and weighs the risk-benefit ratio of climbing the hazardous structure.  
  
Risk #1: She could fall and injure herself 

Risk #2: She could fall and die 

Risk #3: She could fall and embarrass herself in front of Heejin

Benefit #1: Heejin is waiting for her at the top

“Come on, Hyunjin! Mind over matter. You got this!” 

A little cheerleading from Heejin is all Hyunjin needs to race up the trunk, agile like a cat, her above-average upper body strength and desire to impress her girlfriend of one hour quickly taking over. Hyunjin pulls herself up onto Heejin’s branch and scoots next to her. Hyunjin needs to lean against something stable to prevent her from fidgeting and swinging herself off this tree and into the emergency room. 

It helps that the crook of Heejin’s shoulder perfectly accommodates Hyunjin’s head. It also helps that she smells like lavender and looks every bit as beautiful as the flower. 

“What are you thinking about?” asks her crush- no, girlfriend. Hyunjin still can’t believe it. 

“How you said ‘yes.’” 

Heejin interlaces their fingers for the first - but certainly not the last - time. “When Hyunjin Kim asks you to be her girlfriend, you don’t pass up that opportunity.” Hyunjin hums peacefully and they remain like that until they get hungry. 

Heejin pulls out a grilled cheese sandwich from the pocket of her pink hoodie and splits it in half. She holds it like an accordion; they marvel at the gruyere stretching beyond Heejin’s arm span and she loses her balance for a split second. 

“Hey,” Hyunjin rests her other hand on the small of Heejin’s back, “I’ve got you.” 

Heejin scoffs and takes a bite of the bigger half - the half she was saving for Hyunjin. “Relax, I wasn’t gonna fall off. Don’t get… cheesy on me.” 

“Dork.” 

“Scaredy cat,” Heejin talks with her mouth full. “You should try this. Chaewon actually did a decent job.” 

Hyunjin accepts the other half cautiously. She inspects it like a quality control officer, separating cheese from bread and peering into every sourdough crevice. “Nah, I still don’t trust her cooking. If she can fuck up rice, she can fuck up grilled cheese.” 

Heejin clicks her tongue and nudges Hyunjin playfully. “Be nice, Hyunjin. Would we have ended up here if it weren’t for Chaewon?” 

> **1 year ago**   
>    
>  _“My channel’s growing, Hyunjin. I think it’s time I get some extra help,” Chaewon says from behind Hyunjin’s desk._
> 
> _“I can handle it on my own,” Hyunjin defends as she splices footage of Chaewon burning soup with clips of crowds running in mass hysteria. She throws in a few sad trombone sounds to get the message across that “Chaewon” and “cooking” are two words that should not be associated._
> 
> _Chaewon unplugs Hyunjin’s PC._
> 
> _“Chae! Ugh I was working hard on that!”_
> 
> _“I know! You spend countless hours filming and editing on top of classes and working at the bakery. It’s not fair to you. Let me bring in this girl.”_
> 
> _Hyunjin turns on the front-facing camera on her phone and notices eye bags beginning to form. Maybe a little help wouldn’t hurt._
> 
> _“Fine,” she resigns, “But I’m still your videographer, right?”_
> 
> _“Of course. Nothing’s gonna change.”_
> 
> _But everything did. Because Chaewon’s new editor turned out to be Heejin. And in the title screens, transitions, and end screens of Chaewon’s vlogs and mukbangs, Heejin not-so-subtly included pick-up lines directed at Hyunjin.  
>   
> _
> 
> _"Camerawoman Hyunjin, can I be your next muse?”_
> 
> _“I’m not a photographer, but I can picture us together - Heej”_
> 
> _“That was a nice shot, Hyun! Maybe I should shoot mine...”_
> 
> _The comment sections soon became flooded with Butterflies, Chaewon’s fanbase, shipping the camerawoman and editor together._
> 
> _“Is anyone getting you know… a vibe?” - user: gaysforparkchae_
> 
> _“Youtubers to friends to lovers, slow burn, 20k oneshot, light angst” - user: gowon_ramslay_
> 
> _“Do we have a ship name yet? I’m thinking 2jin” - user: chae.is.bae_
> 
> _“Gowon, they’re lesbians” - user: flylikeabutterfly_
> 
> _  
> Chaewon didn’t mind that the attention was diverted from her as she saw the potential between her friends both on and off screen. Heejin and Hyunjin poked fun at the comments and even replied with unconvincing cliches like “We’re just friends.”_
> 
> _Until they weren’t.  
>   
> _

“I guess I’ll give Chae _some_ credit,” Hyunjin caves into Heejin’s request and buries herself even deeper in her girlfriend’s shoulder. Heejin’s perfume is intoxicating. Heejin herself is… she’s everything. She’s everything to Hyunjin. 

“I feel bad for her. It’s gonna suck third wheeling. We’ve been official for one hour and we’ve already reached peak cheesiness.” 

As they finish their sandwich and Heejin wipes bread crumbs off the corners of her girlfriend’s mouth, Hyunjin wishes for the universe to send her pitiful, single friend a Heejin of her own. 

  
Later that day, Hyunjin’s wish is fulfilled. 

**Direct Message from hyeitsolivia:** Hi, I saw your profile on the BBCU fb page. Are you still looking for a roommate?  
  
 **Direct Message from won.and.only:** Yes! Ignore the Nicki Minaj pfp. My friends hacked my account. I’m Gowon btw but you can call me Chaewon! 

**Direct Message from hyeitsolivia:** Cool. I’m Olivia or Hyejoo. Whichever you prefer. 

**Direct Message from won.and.only:** How about Olivia Hye? 

**Direct Message from hyeitsolivia:** Sure 

* * *

* * *

And finally, a sneak peek from the first chapter of Part 2.   
  


**September 8, 1995**

“Where are my manners? I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Jiwoo!” 

_Are handshakes supposed to be this painful? She’s freakishly strong._

“You’ve got a good grip, Jiwoo. I’m Yves.” 

Sooyoung has grown accustomed to the nickname she’s given herself. The only people allowed to call her by her given name are Jinsol, Haseul, and her family. 

Jiwoo is a stranger. A very outgoing, kind person but a stranger nonetheless.

She’s not one of her best friends (although she will be soon). 

She’s definitely not family (although she will be five years from now in a Las Vegas 24 Hour Wedding Chapel). 

So for now, Jiwoo will have the pleasure of knowing Yves, not Sooyoung.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2, The Fall of the Sapphic Singles Squad is coming NEXT WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 14.
> 
> Video Editor Heejin and Camerawoman Hyunjin will not appear but they will get their own oneshot or short spinoff after the series is complete. Maybe Hannah Momontana too. We'll see. 
> 
> What was your favorite (vi)vignette? Thanks for reading and I hope to see you in the next one! Stay safe, drink water, you matter.


End file.
